no supplies. i wish i did but i don't know where to start. i keep thinking about sn... it's like a daydream but it also makes me want to cry. i've been attempting with complete futility for the better part of a decade now since before i was even a teenager. i heard about sn and researched and it seemed right for me but i have very little money to my name and the fact that meto already seems to be becoming less accessible just makes the pain worse. i don't think that i have much of a shot at this and by the time i will i'm sure people will have caught on to sn more than they already have and that'll be it. i always considered a shotgun to the face but after finding out about what it's like to survive that i don't know if i have the guts for it and i'm not sure how i would even obtain a firearm anyway with no finances and no way to get any
seeing you all here makes me emotional on a lot of different levels. i know some, if not all of you, will be gone soon. i support your choice as i know you all would support mine but if any of you are anything like me, the isolation and the loneliness is some of the worst of it all. if any of you want to talk before you ctb, i'll be here periodically and my pms are open to you. @IronTusk or anyone else. i won't try to dissuade you or push you in either direction but i am here to listen even if that's the only thing i can do
i want to believe that there will be other ways out in the future but i just feel hopeless. there's nothing more i can say than that. i have considered other methods but in the end all i continue to find are stories of people surviving. i know some of them go on to be happier, but i don't think i would fall there. especially with the methods i've always considered. if anyone here attempts with what they've got and it doesn't go through, i only hope you either find happiness in life or you find a way to exit peacefully elsewhere or through another way. whatever happens, may you find the peace you seek
