I'm honest with a lot of people but it's through dark humor so no one believes me anyway.
Fuck it, I told them. Them not believing isn't on me.
Fuck it, I told them. Them not believing isn't on me.
Sayo
Not 2B
- Aug 22, 2018
- 520
No, but I'm able to be honest about some important things, which is more than some can say. The main reason I can't be honest is just because of the grief it causes and my family's inability to process it, as well as my unwillingness to further burden them with it right now.
I did have a therapist with whom I was able to be honest, but we had made an agreement while I was trying to recover to try to keep me out of the psych ward based on a promise he proactively made to contact me out of therapy. I have an impulse disorder, and I experience intense ideation related to my PTSD etc. that isn't fully related to my chronic ideation, so that promise was important to managing it. If he hadn't offered it, I would have looked at some other way of managing it. He decided by himself to break this promise during a critical period and told me it was because he decided not to get in the way of my dying, which I would super appreciate about him right now but wasn't really appropriate from any other perspective. Therapy has been much less successful with therapists I've tried since due to inability to talk about my ideation honestly. I just feel unable to reach my buried emotions and talk about anything that matters.
I did have a therapist with whom I was able to be honest, but we had made an agreement while I was trying to recover to try to keep me out of the psych ward based on a promise he proactively made to contact me out of therapy. I have an impulse disorder, and I experience intense ideation related to my PTSD etc. that isn't fully related to my chronic ideation, so that promise was important to managing it. If he hadn't offered it, I would have looked at some other way of managing it. He decided by himself to break this promise during a critical period and told me it was because he decided not to get in the way of my dying, which I would super appreciate about him right now but wasn't really appropriate from any other perspective. Therapy has been much less successful with therapists I've tried since due to inability to talk about my ideation honestly. I just feel unable to reach my buried emotions and talk about anything that matters.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... No.
Yeah, I've made sure everyone is too far away to realize. It has its utility, but the loneliness hurts sometimes.
Yeah, I've made sure everyone is too far away to realize. It has its utility, but the loneliness hurts sometimes.
I find I share bits and pieces with different people, but never the whole story
Midnight
Beyond solace
- Jun 30, 2018
- 624
Completely honest? No.
Somewhat dropping hints about not giving a shit wether i live or die? Maybe one ... Once 2 but the backstabbing mf'er screwed me over and tattled about some stuff to colleaugues after a silly disagreement.
All you guy's/girls do you yourself a favor. Trust no-one with info like you share here IRL. People can't keep secrets.
Alot of us are here for said reason. We need a place to vent because people IRL can't be trusted.
Somewhat dropping hints about not giving a shit wether i live or die? Maybe one ... Once 2 but the backstabbing mf'er screwed me over and tattled about some stuff to colleaugues after a silly disagreement.
All you guy's/girls do you yourself a favor. Trust no-one with info like you share here IRL. People can't keep secrets.
Alot of us are here for said reason. We need a place to vent because people IRL can't be trusted.
