Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
Do you have any friends or family that you can be completely honest with?
Personally I do not.
Personally I do not.
lostinthedream
Warlock
- Sep 2, 2018
- 754
Unfortunately no. I have to be the strong one. Such is my dream.. my "reality".
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
It takes a lot of energy to keep everything inside. Hard to concentrate for me because of all that's on my mind. Wish I could tell people.
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AndyCurious
Warlock
- Sep 13, 2018
- 707
Only one that I can think of now, and that is better than no one...
AndyCurious
Warlock
- Sep 13, 2018
- 707
I feel the same...
Unfortunately not. Not just about suicide but basic things about me.
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
Same. It's dangerous to talk about suicide - especially researching methods & planning. Also I try to keep many of my problems to myself so I can be quite antisocial because I can't hide the way I'm feeling.
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
For most people talk about suicide is instantly call the police/ hospital.
I do, kind of.
I can talk about it and it won't result in intervention but it still makes the other party uncomfortable, in a sense they don't want me to ctb.
I can talk about why I feel that way, but not about methods or timescales.
I can talk about it and it won't result in intervention but it still makes the other party uncomfortable, in a sense they don't want me to ctb.
I can talk about why I feel that way, but not about methods or timescales.
Firstly, i have seen the film le passion de jeanne d'arc, so i like your icon. The people i would find most receptive to honesty are the ones most likely to have serious emotional issues of their own and so the least likely i would want to bother with mine.
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deathoverlife
life is fleeting.....
- Oct 8, 2018
- 197
nope i dotn either...but there is a this very good friend of mine i keep telling him to be good to me coz you never know when i would be gone as life is so unpredictable. i also keep telling him that I have this gut feeling i would survive oct... he laughs it out so do it...but i feel good that I at least told some one in my real life about it...
fuckthis
I've made up my mind.
- Sep 23, 2018
- 263
No. Seems like I can't be honest with anyone over the internet either, at least from my experience.
yes, I have, but I'm very closed so I do not tell much of my problems to anyone, in return, I listen to them quietly, it just keeps filling me with bitterness.
I used to be very honest to my family because I think we are family. But, my lazy ass sister takes advantage of me way too much. Since then I don't trust or being honest to anybody.
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mattwitt
# 978
- Jun 28, 2018
- 2,307
Not 1 single person ever really.
No but I understand why. No one likes talking about depressing things especially in a full blown conversation. I can talk to my mother about it but it would eventually just make her sad and me feel even more pathetic. It sucks especially if suicide is all you think about and have no one to talk to about it.
jaemus12
Earth’s Parasite
- May 11, 2018
- 562
Nah.
A wise Queen once said "don't let them in, don't let them see. Be the good girl (or weirdo in my case) you always have to be. Conceal, don't feel, Don't let them know."
PS: Don't judge me. I love me some Disney.
A wise Queen once said "don't let them in, don't let them see. Be the good girl (or weirdo in my case) you always have to be. Conceal, don't feel, Don't let them know."
PS: Don't judge me. I love me some Disney.
TheGoodGuy
Visionary
- Aug 27, 2018
- 2,999
I have no one nothing IRL and no one online it just comes to show that the only person I can fully trust is myself I am the only one that won´t rat on me.
Escargot Shorts
Tears-of-a-Clown Ass Bitch
- Sep 26, 2018
- 188
in regards to ctb, i've only told one person who wasn't a therapist. it was late night while drinking and after i brought up a friend of ours who had ctb just the year before and the ways that weighed on me at the time. he was pretty surprised i guess and mostly asked questions trying to understand, figuring out reasons that i myself couldn't give because i couldn't articulate them.
but in regards to other things, i'm trying to do better in just speaking honestly, at least in the sense of saying what i think more often. i have a habit of prevaricating that has at times can be seen as diplomatic, which speaks to how much i want to consider people's feelings but i think there's a definite difference between considering and fearing. and a lot of that evasive way of talking or behaving was more self-defense and feeling responsible for managing people's emotional states or anticipating responses instead of relinquishing that anxiety over control.
it's still a thing i struggle with, esp people who are very important to me (super ironic that i'm probably the most guarded with the people i'm supposed to be close with). but hopefully i'm getting there, esp to be this fortunate there are people who seemingly want to listen.
but in regards to other things, i'm trying to do better in just speaking honestly, at least in the sense of saying what i think more often. i have a habit of prevaricating that has at times can be seen as diplomatic, which speaks to how much i want to consider people's feelings but i think there's a definite difference between considering and fearing. and a lot of that evasive way of talking or behaving was more self-defense and feeling responsible for managing people's emotional states or anticipating responses instead of relinquishing that anxiety over control.
it's still a thing i struggle with, esp people who are very important to me (super ironic that i'm probably the most guarded with the people i'm supposed to be close with). but hopefully i'm getting there, esp to be this fortunate there are people who seemingly want to listen.
Going Home
Specialist
- Sep 21, 2018
- 357
Tragoedia Vitae
Experienced
- Oct 14, 2018
- 230
I don't have anyone like that in my life. If I told people, they would view me as certifiably insane, or pity me (in my opinion, pity is a thoroughly useless, even destructive emotion--empathy is a different story though), or insist on shoving a fistful of platitudes & tough love cliches down my throat. Or they would utter some self-serving nonsense such as "Take responsibility for your own life and happiness!" I would be expected to simply grin and bear it despite the fact that I lack sufficient emotional and mental resources to sustain myself in this world. I simply must live, everything be damned---as for death, it's unthinkable, unallowable. I'm not allowed to take responsibility for my death at my age.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if people could actually support each other in life as well as death? If people could actually walk side by side, arms linked, to the threshold of death and back? But none of that would ever be possible in this day and age.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if people could actually support each other in life as well as death? If people could actually walk side by side, arms linked, to the threshold of death and back? But none of that would ever be possible in this day and age.
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Yup, he's 30 years my senior... nothing is too much. He would never stop me from ctb. Visit him every night - now in the old people's home - for 15 years now. I doubt if I was still here without him.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,375
Not really. About some things I can but about wanting to die I can't.
I did bring it up before and they got upset.
Now I don't say anything... if I would decide to end it they won't try to stop me.
I did bring it up before and they got upset.
Now I don't say anything... if I would decide to end it they won't try to stop me.
onewayroad
“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
- Oct 4, 2018
- 358
Not exactly. I mean, I have a few close friends that will not be surprised when I ctb because of things I've said to them, but I can't directly tell them what I am planning and when I am planning it for. They would take some kind of action. Have me hospitalized, call my parents, something. They wouldn't understand that I am being rational, and would try and do something about it. I have one friend who I might be able to trust, but I don't want to risk it.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,375
Are you able to tell them you want to die ?
If so … do they understand and are ok with it ?
AndyCurious
Warlock
- Sep 13, 2018
- 707
Yes and yes :)
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,375
I wish I had that. You are very lucky.
If I told anyone I was planning on ctb I would be locked up for a while … I'm sure.
Therapy will not change my mind. I can't wait until this shit is over. :(
AndyCurious
Warlock
- Sep 13, 2018
- 707
I may be lucky yes.. Of course they would get hurt, but still ok with it.. At least, I'm glad they understand my pain though..
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,375
At least they do understand you wanting to exit. :)
