Discussion Do you have anyone irl with whom you can talk about your suicidal thoughts?

[enough of this]

Not really. I have a counselor who's told me about her legal mandates. If I tell her I FEEL like killing myself, that's okay. But if I tell her I'm going to kill myself, she's required by law to turn me into an agency. Once they get a hold of me, I've lost every bit of my freedom, which is why I would want to kill myself in the FIRST place.

The system is shit.

 

[DoomedDarkCircles]

Not with the seriousness that it truly possesses

 

[UselessJargon]

When people learn I was suicidal, most of the time, they would just keep telling me the same old "suicide is a permanent to a temporary problem." or something else similar to that. I really don't want to hear the same shit over and over again so now I just usually try to keep it to myself and tell anyone asking that "I'm fine."

 

[burninghill]

I'd love to, I do have people who I could tell but they've been notably polarised in their reactions. Either my friends are very very flippant about when they think something is wrong, or they've been very concerned and contacted my parents. I don't want to risk my family being involved in any sense, so I keep it to myself.

 

[Moonbunny]

I have one friend, and she's suicidal too, we sometimes talk casually about ways to die

 

[AnxiousLife]

No, I don't have anyone with whom can I share my suicidal thoughts. I had a good, very close person to me in the past, with whom we shared almost all our thoughts and feelings and it was something I craved for a long time and I was very very thankful for it, but now we don't talk anymore, it have been years since we were in contact, as they decided to use me. It was one of the worst feelings in my life :( I still crave and hope I will find someone who we can share our suicidal thoughts together with, but it seems unlikely

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I wish I did. Everyone I know irl wouldn't take my depression and suicide ideation seriously and would just tell me that my problems aren't big enough to warrantee the urge to die. I've barely been open and honest with them about any of my struggles because I know they're incapable of understanding. Majority of people that haven't gone through what you do will always be ignorant to your problems.

 

[vexana]

i did talk about my ideation and they hit me with how others have it worse as if my suffering isn't real, lol.

 

[somewhat_damaged]

Absolutely not.

 

[enough of this]

I used to trust my counselor. But I don't any more. Not since she's told me about the legal mandates she's bound to. If I tell her I want to CTB, she's legally required to report me to authorities. Once under their "care," I'll have no freedoms whatsoever. I won't even have my phone. No shoe laces, not even dental floss, because I could hang myself with it. They'll pathologize everything, tell me my brain chemistry is off. But they'll have the drugs to set me straight. Of course, I'll be required to stay on them for the rest of my life. It will be nothing but a chemical lobotomy.

But what a great way for Big Pharma to rake in the dough. And psychiatrists have to have new luxury cars, Rolexes, yachats and swimming pools.

I refuse to provide those things at the expense of my life.

 

[meiherasayuri]

In summary, no

 

[Echo]

Me and my friend have both hinted at suicidal tendencies but that was years ago. I just keep up the facade that I'm fine. Easier that way.

 

[The Eternal One]

I do but I don't want to. It incoveniences and worries other people while not allowing myself any release. It's just causing other people unnecessary pain for nothing.
I did this May. It felt good to know I'm supported (I was just listened to, told not to do it, etc. - the usual, you all know how it goes), but it's the beginning and end of it. I still feel bad for making my loved ones sad over something that can't be changed or controlled by anyone.

In truth, I don't feel like talking in depth about my suicidal feelings even on SaSu, since I don't see the point. I feel a lot better while reading other people accounts, because of feelings of sympathy, empathy, comradery, recognition and understanding I'm experiencing.
I'm not sure I want to be seen myself, however. Too vulnerable. Too much.

I apologize for leaving such reply in this thread. I know it comes off as "well-fed talking down to the poor". The struggles of the OP aren't even close or comparable to mine, and you have my deepest sympathies!
Just thought my two cents could be a fascinating perspective for some to discover.

 

[soributton]

I wish I did. Last time I opened up to my boyfriend about it he told everyone: my family, his family, and some of our friends too. Eugh