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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,201
I have been on this forum (as great as it is) since 2020 now. I am tired that I am still here. I guess that is why I hope to find the strength to ctb this year. It is so draining feeling this way and talking about the pain of existence. Does anybody else feel that they are running out of steam here?
 
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Loneliest

Loneliest

Slow dancing to my death
Jun 23, 2021
40
Yeah I feel you. I was lurking on SS on and off without an account before finally joining recently. I'm quite frustrated with myself for actively thinking about it but not doing it yet. Ever since I've made the decision that I will ctb, I've lost all desires to do anything. It's just like what's the point? I'm going to ctb anyway. The question though is when. When will I have the courage to finally end it all! I can't keep feeling this way
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,201
Yeah I feel you. I was lurking on SS on and off without an account before finally joining recently. I'm quite frustrated with myself for actively thinking about it but not doing it yet. Ever since I've made the decision that I will ctb, I've lost all desires to do anything. It's just like what's the point? I'm going to ctb anyway. The question though is when. When will I have the courage to finally end it all! I can't keep feeling this way
Indeed. It is just exhausting to not want to be in this world but just pushing along anyway. Yup, it sure is.
 
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U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,449
Yes, I get sick of talking about it and thinking about it. I just wish I wasn't such a coward and could get it done.

I know in my mind I could make a noose and be gone from this world in the next 10 mins but I don't have the guts and that sucks. Every day alive sucks.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
Not really, it has been a part of my life for roughly 20 of my 34 years on this planet. It's like talking about sports or the weather at this point.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,621
I'd rather talk about anything else even in a place like this. It's a distraction like any other. There's only so much to say about why I'm here and if I do I only want to kill myself more.
 
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Bedrock48

Bedrock48

Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
Feb 1, 2021
540
Not particularly, I find it valuable having at least some open discussion about suicide. Only thing I get fed up about is having to repeat things over and over to professionals. While I don't mind telling my story it gets tedious going over *every* detail endlessly. Especially if said person doesn't "get it".
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,523
I don't get fed up talking about suicide, for me it is always on my mind and I see it as the only way I can get peace. This forum makes me feel better and makes my days more bearable. I am fed up of existing though, I have been alive for too long.
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,201
Don't get me wrong this a fantastic outlet for like minded people which I love. I just get tired of myself for being alive this long and just scraping by. I think I would be worse without this forum and my ability to speak freely. Still, It doesn't change the way I feel about being bored with my suicidal thoughts and feelings.
 
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Reactions: blueclover_.
S

suisuiforum

Experienced
Jul 4, 2021
239
I've talked about suicide on so many different (anonymous) platforms, and I feel like I sound like a broken record. Even when I'm talking to complete strangers in a chatroom, I still try to limit how intense I sound or how many times I talk about it, otherwise people would get upset, bored, or fed up. I also rant in private, but even that's getting boring to write and read about for myself.
 
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Reactions: blueclover_., OceanBlue, Winklemate and 1 other person
I

IWantToSleep

Experienced
Dec 27, 2020
227
Kind of, but atleast it's something.
 
WatermelonMel

WatermelonMel

Melon Master
Aug 19, 2019
408
Quite the opposite, this is the only place I can find where people actually understand and it's a tremendous relief every time. Would much rather talk about suicide than put on a mask and pretend to be happy.
 
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Reactions: FuneralCry
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
My mental illnesses/problems is all thats ever on my mind and for the most part is all i talk about with my friends. It is tiring dealing with it 24/7. Like, a break for a normal conversation would be nice.
 
motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
I'm gonna kill myself if I don't leave this place soon & kill myself
 
Pisceslilith

Pisceslilith

Student
Aug 19, 2019
159
Yeah, I get very fed up because I just want to do it but unfortunately I can't right now. It's so frustrating.
 
J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
Yeah I'm getting tired of talking about this too. Good point once I realized I'm going to end myself I just lost desire for everything. But I need to stop being a coward and do it but have to cover finances first
 
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