I probably will do it the last week of January, or late March/early April. I hope I can overcome my SI without benzos (using the SN method). There's nothing left for me here...came to the realisation that I'm just too emotionally fucked up to do full time work and I obviously cannot live without money. I don't want to move back home to a tense environment, where I don't have any control, independence or freedom. I've stayed around due to fear of hurting my mum and grandma with my suicide, knowing that they will likely be upset. But people eventually get over death, and with time it becomes easier. It's time for me to leave this year, I've stayed hopeful for far too long.