Venting Do you feel like you are wasting your life away?

[262653]

I felt bad about it but your post made me question myself. I realized that I have given up big goals to fill my life with minute pleasures long time ago. I enjoy it if I can and do something else if I don't.
I don't look at my peers because they aren't any at my appartment. If someone lives happy live, enjoys work, study, this and that -- good for them.
I'm not alone, I deal with massive amount of output from other people on a daily basis. In form of books, movies, video games, articles, sexy pictures, this forum... you right now. Hi, Darkhaven! *waves the hand*
I'm not looking far beyond tomorrow. I have WIP CTB plan and all my expenses are covered by family. I'm not very demanding. I have food on the table and roof over my head, a bed, hygiene stuff. I could live like I am right now for... until my breadwinners kick off.
I think I'm in steady progress of making peace with my current lifestyle because its the best I can hope for. (For a living of course.) Its like beating yourself up because you weren't born caucasian instead of black.

I wish I could appreciate my freedom of work more, but I have nothing to compare with, except school maybe. Now THAT was a fucking waste.

I'd prefer cities. I like walking down city streets at night. The neon lights make them have a sort of... Life. It's eerily beautiful. I like the idea of being the only thing awake in a place that should be teeming with people.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand steering back on topic before we get carried away... That kind of life would only work if you've made your peace with separating from society, for the most part. Personally, I can't really do that. I need some form of interpersonal contact... I don't like being alone with myself.

I like the notion of empty streets. Like in Chernobyl~

When I craved contact, I used to get emotional high from chatting with strangers, but it's full of racists, pedophiles, sex talk... Now I have this place xD

 

[Darkhaven]

I felt bad about it but your post made me question myself. I realized that I have given up big goals to fill my life with minute pleasures long time ago. I enjoy it if I can and do something else if I don't.
I don't look at my peers because they aren't any at my appartment. If someone lives happy live, enjoys work, study, this and that -- good for them.
I'm not alone, I deal with massive amount of output from other people on a daily basis. In form of books, movies, video games, articles, sexy pictures, this forum... you right now. Hi, Darkhaven! *waves the hand*
I'm not looking far beyond tomorrow. I have WIP CTB plan and all my expenses are covered by family. I'm not very demanding. I have food on the table and roof over my head, a bed, hygiene stuff. I could live like I am right now for... until my breadwinners kick off.
I think I'm in steady progress of making peace with my current lifestyle because its the best I can hope for. (For a living of course.) Its like beating yourself up because you weren't born caucasian instead of black.

I wish I could appreciate my freedom of work more, but I have nothing to compare with, except school maybe. Now THAT was a fucking waste.


I like the notion of empty streets. Like in Chernobyl~

When I craved contact, I used to get emotional high from chatting with strangers, but it's full of racists, pedophiles, sex talk... Now I have this place xD

I'm glad you are able to come to terms with your lifestyle.
I'm still being supported by my parents at least untill next year when i finish my university degree.
After that i don't know how my life will proceed. I must "get out of the cave" and go try to make a living. But 22 years without social skills will take their toll on my adjustment in a working place. But that's something we will see in the future.
I'm always glad to hear from people like you and the others here. I hope you find some peace and security for your life!

 

[262653]

I'm glad you are able to come to terms with your lifestyle.

Well, not exactly, as it turned out a few minutes ago. I'm still bitter and envious of people who put a great deal of effort to settle down in life, although I'm not yet sure why...
But don't take seriously my ramblings about reconciling with a life of mediocrity if you want to make a decent living too. We may be heading into opposite directions here. Just as non-suicidals avoid being influenced by suicidals...

 

[Darkhaven]

Well, not exactly, as it turned out a few minutes ago. I'm still bitter and envious of people who put a great deal of effort to settle down in life, although I'm not yet sure why...
But don't take seriously my ramblings about reconciling with a life of mediocrity if you want to make a decent living too. We may be heading into opposite directions here. Just as non-suicidals avoid being influenced by suicidals...

No i don't mind settling for mediocrity either.
I have lost all of my dreams of greatness, you know the ones almost everyone has in their 18' and early 20's. Life quickly showed me i'm not made for it. So i have to adjust to my own standards, which have to be kept low. I have the advantage of adapting quickly to life's circumstances, even if theu are not optimal.

 

[Grey-zone]

Just recently on an investment forum I frequent I saw a guy who was retired at 40. He asked what do other retired folks do since he was totally lost now that he was no longer hanging out with colleagues at work. Seems employment still has social value even if you have $10 million and can afford to not work.

I've wondered about the FIRE movement. When I wasn't working and living with my parents (18-28, albeit in college on and off), and so didn't have to worry about money, the level of tedium was a constant barrage. I think I lost the ability in those years to take any initiative. If someone had airdropped a crateload of hunnerd-dollar bills, I might have just sat on it. On the other hand, it seems like money offers greater freedom and movement--I wouldn't have to bother with a dull or shit job, or worry about finding a career. Surely this would have some effect on how I interact with the world.
I kinda wish I'd started investing 10 years ago, but stopped putting money into the 401k with current job when I realized that the chances of me existing 10 years from now are sketchy at best. Still, having some money invested would be good if you plan on going out in style.

I want this tiny thing. And a big empty space to surround it.

Amazon sells DIY tiny-home kits that take only 2 days to build

Tiny houses have cropped up in popularity as housing prices are rising and minimalistic downsizing is becoming more trendy.

amp.businessinsider.com

I think housing is one of the number one ways people get fucked over. If you can reduce those costs, along with transportation, then even with a shittier job you might do alright and have some flexibility. This needs to be a movement. Sometimes I think the system wants people to be partially destitute due to the cost of rent No, it definitely does.

 

[StillWaiting]

Hi
Same here, I also do feel that I am wasting my life everyday.
Seeing people around me achieving amazing things while I am trying my best to get myself together.
It isn't working and it frustrates me even more when I can't seems to figure out what went wrong with my life while others are enjoying their lives.

 

[Darkhaven]

Hi
Same here, I also do feel that I am wasting my life everyday.
Seeing people around me achieving amazing things while I am trying my best to get myself together.
It isn't working and it frustrates me even more when I can't seems to figure out what went wrong with my life while others are enjoying their lives.

Social media aggravates this frustration by making us witness how others live and have so much lifestyles than us.
No one is forced to possess social media but it's something you get used to and just like any addiction it's hard to let go, but at the same time it destroys us by showing us how freakish our lives are.

 

[seekingoblivion]

I have close family members that immediatly label anyone whose at least 30 and childless as "a selfish person". Lmao.
Long story short: if you have no kids and you re an adult then you are a greedy fuck that isn't willing to sacrifice your personal projects and objectives in order to expand your family.
It's worse if its a woman, which doesn't surprise me given the misoginist social background in where they were born and raised.
They still have hopes that i will become a father one day. Hahaha. They are very naive. But i honestly find it difficult to think that deep down they haven't foresaw that i'm a lost cause.
Not that they care too much, i'm their grandson but i m also the "black sheep" of the family, so...

Funny, I don't remember being in non existence thinking "man, those two are so self centered! They can't even think about me not experiencing all that life! How dare they not conceive me by now!".