Do you feel happier being isolated?

[easypeasy]

I'm yet to meet or talk to anyone who feels how I do. I can spend months on my own, as long as I have a tv..and be happily amused. I'm often told not to isolate myself, but I don't have the same feelings to isolation as others seem to. It makes me feel good…and seeing others is effort. Partly due to my level of physical pain and the different course my life has taken. I no longer know anybody I can relate to but I don't get lonely or sad being on my own. I've met people that like being on their own…but not exclusively like I do. I've laughed out loud many times today at something on the tv. Can anyone relate to this extent?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I absolutely can. I think during the covid period was my longest stretch. Maybe 3 years there seeing no one but the odd delivery driver here and there.

I also feel lucky that I don't tend to feel lonely but, like you- I need distraction. Something on TV, music or podcasts in the background.

Are you an only child by any chance? I think that's partly why I'm so ok on my own.

 

[easypeasy]

Yes, I absolutely can. I think during the covid period was my longest stretch. Maybe 3 years there seeing no one but the odd delivery driver here and there.

I also feel lucky that I don't tend to feel lonely but, like you- I need distraction. Something on TV, music or podcasts in the background.

Are you an only child by any chance? I think that's partly why I'm so ok on my own.

I'm not an only child but I always wished I was. I don't speak to my siblings and I have been told by many people (extended family and friends) that I'm not the black sheep of my family but rather the only white one.

You're the first person I've met that gets it. It's nice!

 

[platypus77]

I can see my own family saying the same thing about me. The only difference is that I'm also the black sheep.

I'm just too different than other people, I guess. But I don't feel lonely though, I enjoy my solitude.

I can be social and talkative, but that's mostly masking and pretending to be "normal" when I need to.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

Growing up I was very much in this camp. Two or so years ago some cousin of a cousin asked me if I was "the one that never goes outside," so my early reputation precedes me. This is after I left home, travelled a lot, lived abroad etc, but I guess people just develop one idea of a person and never allow that to change.

In recent months I've gone back to isolation, though. I barely leave my room if I can help it. I just don't get pleasure from being around people anymore. Even my closest friends who are trying their best to support me... I'd just rather be left to myself, allowed to do what I need to get through the day without others butting in and trying to fix me.

 

[easypeasy]

I can see my own family saying the same thing about me. The only difference is that I'm also the black sheep.

I'm just too different than other people, I guess. But I don't feel lonely though, I enjoy my solitude.

I can be social and talkative, but that's mostly masking and pretending to be "normal" when I need to.

Thank you for sharing x

Growing up I was very much in this camp. Two or so years ago some cousin of a cousin asked me if I was "the one that never goes outside," so my early reputation precedes me. This is after I left home, travelled a lot, lived abroad etc, but I guess people just develop one idea of a person and never allow that to change.

In recent months I've gone back to isolation, though. I barely leave my room if I can help it. I just don't get pleasure from being around people anymore. Even my closest friends who are trying their best to support me... I'd just rather be left to myself, allowed to do what I need to get through the day without others butting in and trying to fix me.

Thanks for sharing this! Xo

 

[deadbidaylight]

I can see my own family saying the same thing about me. The only difference is that I'm also the black sheep.

I'm just too different than other people, I guess. But I don't feel lonely though, I enjoy my solitude.

I can be social and talkative, but that's mostly masking and pretending to be "normal" when I need to.

I am exactly the same as you. I enjoy being alone, and can easily go long stretches and it doesn't affect me at all. I don't enjoy silence, but I don't need to talk, I actually prefer not to. But I always need the tv on or an audiobook or podcast. I enjoy listening to things. I have tinnitus so silence is awful for me.

Outwardly I seem very social and approachable, but inside the anxiety of being around other people, especially people I have never met or don't see often is often crippling. I have trouble breathing and shake until the experience is over.

I never used to be like this, but probably in the last year or two is when it got a lot worse. Even seeing my best friend of 30 years now gives me extreme anxiety, and it's really for no reason. I also HATE hugging anyone that isn't my partner or parents and I feel obligated to hug people close to me when I see them and it kills me inside everytime.

I obviously have to force social interaction daily because I have a partner and child. I enjoy their company, especially my daughters. But I could be happy completely alone for a very long time if it were just my daughter and I. I cannot live without her.

I am an only child so that tracks.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I love being isolated. It's silence for me, and less bullshit I have to put up with. The less people around, the happier I am. I don't need tv or a podcast, but I gotta have my music.

 

[wonderfulheaven]

i like having no one around to judge or criticize me or ruin my day. i like doing things that i enjoy in peace. unfortunately i'm hardwired to crave company and affection even though i know the risk of being hurt or left will always haunt me. this makes it an agonizing bother constantly in the back of my head. when i get deep into isolation i believe even more that i'm not needed or wanted by others so i cope with something akin to imaginary friends. they feel real and comforting but it brings me great heartache knowing it's no genuine warmth of a human.

 

[Message In A Bottle]

I wouldn't say happier…. but I feel comfortable. As I don't feel like I have a thousand prying eyes on me. Judging me for all my peculiarities.

Aside from my parents, I've been alone for most of my life. You kinda grow use to it. But at the same time, the need for affection is always there. I'm constantly going back and forth between yearning for someone, and wanting nothing to do with anyone. Being with people requires effort, effort means I have to behave and act somewhat normal towards people. A tedious task that makes me just want to day dream instead so I can just choose the outcome I want without fighting for it.

The candle flickers only to burn out in the end.

 

[encore]

not really, i can only feel truly happy and fulfilled by sharing my life with someone else and having them do the same to me. that said, i don't enjoy casual relationships and friendships much, those people feel completely replaceable to me and their presence doesn't really impact how happy i am. i still care about my friends, and would feel bad if something unfortunate happened to them, but i also wouldn't cry or be upset if they left.

being isolated makes me feel very stable as the likelihood of encountering triggering situations is reduced DRASTICALLY, which means my baseline emotional state is better than the "lows" i experience when dating. so while there is no happiness, there are also no crazy mood swings happening. love is what truly makes me feel alive though, so i'd still take dealing with my trauma/emotional regulation problems over this "peace" (not to mention i feel suicidal no matter what my relationship status is lol)

 

[Alo the obvi alien]

I am a complete hermit. I don't even speak even see my roommates often. I am not at necessarily at peace alone, but I am not overwhelmed like I am around people. I dont leave my room unless no one is in the pathway. I doordash everything. The mindfuck my head head becomes thinking about interacting with people, I hate it. They don't mean what they say but expect you to get it. They hate direct honesty but will always say they would rather have 1 first that likes you than 1000 that secretly hate you. But then have no respect for anyone that is honest. I just would prefer to not have to decipher every sentence. I'd prefer to not be someone's pillow to cry. I'd prefer to not be used like a sex toy anymore. Id prefer not to be a punching bag. I'd prefer not to be a void they are screaming at. And id prefer not to do that to anyone anymore too. It's why I don't talk to anyone in person anymore. I've learned we are all selfish POS. Everything is meaningless. But just because I am alone 24/7 that doesn't mean I am not depressed or insane.

 

[easypeasy]

i like having no one around to judge or criticize me or ruin my day. i like doing things that i enjoy in peace. unfortunately i'm hardwired to crave company and affection even though i know the risk of being hurt or left will always haunt me. this makes it an agonizing bother constantly in the back of my head. when i get deep into isolation i believe even more that i'm not needed or wanted by others so i cope with something akin to imaginary friends. they feel real and comforting but it brings me great heartache knowing it's no genuine warmth of a human.

I can relate to the imaginary friend thing. It was ten years ago, now. It was basically Roger from American Dad with the same sense of humour.

 

[TheBroken]

100%

 

[mikgazer6]

Yes. To be entirely undisturbed (no attachments, no desires, no thoughts) is the most peaceful form of living existence. I'm not saying this is for everyone and I'm not certain it's achievable, but isolation is a solid step in this direction. I've been moderately isolated the past couple years, socially the past 5 years, and it has been amazing. Not just the peace of mind aspect but the ability to have deep reflection that typically gets interrupted by being too involved in human society.

 

[easypeasy]

Yes. To be entirely undisturbed (no attachments, no desires, no thoughts) is the most peaceful form of living existence. I'm not saying this is for everyone and I'm not certain it's achievable, but isolation is a solid step in this direction. I've been moderately isolated the past couple years, socially the past 5 years, and it has been amazing. Not just the peace of mind aspect but the ability to have deep reflection that typically gets interrupted by being too involved in human society.

It's calming to my soul to read this. Because everyone that speaks to me thinks it's unhealthy for me to isolate and that makes me sad that they don't understand. I feel like I know best but they are the majority.

 

[Halfhourdays]

It's calming to my soul to read this. Because everyone that speaks to me thinks it's unhealthy for me to isolate and that makes me sad that they don't understand. I feel like I know best but they are the majority.

I like that, "calming to my soul." Very relatable.

 

[areyousafe??]

I definitely relate, 100%. Not just because of my social anxiety (which only flared up the past year or so), but I have always been an introvert at heart. I can spend months happily on my own. It's peaceful not having to deal with unpredictable people.

Even though self isolation is frowned upon, I often find that I get exhausted by social interaction, and isolation allows me to recharge. I am happiest on my own.

 

[thenamingofcats]

Yes, there's something wrong with me in that I don't experience loneliness. In my 20s I had more of a need for interaction, then it slowly faded out and just stopped completely.

 

[Fall_Apart]

I spent most of my life worrying about not being alone, and for that reason I tried to stay in touch with friends and stuff like that. Then when I started my journey towards the end, I started self-isolating because I think there's no point in having relationships when you know you're nearing your final years, but the surprising thing is that I feel good being alone, and I just want to disappear completely from other people's lives.

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

Isolation comforted me for over 10 years, until recently. Isolation used to give me so much freedom to just be in my own head, to dive deep into things I like, and most crucially to hide away from everything in life that overwhelmed me.

Now after over a decade of self isolating, I find myself haunted by the past, every year is a year heavier than the last. I started craving for human connections, way more than just the fantasies I'm used to having, almost like I'm drowning and reaching out for a hand. I started going on walks in my city, and I feel like a total stranger in my own hometown. I don't know anyone, a whole new generation of people have walked right pass me. I've missed my bus, and now I'm stuck all alone…

 

[easypeasy]

Isolation comforted me for over 10 years, until recently. Isolation used to give me so much freedom to just be in my own head, to dive deep into things I like, and most crucially to hide away from everything in life that overwhelmed me.

Now after over a decade of self isolating, I find myself haunted by the past, every year is a year heavier than the last. I started craving for human connections, way more than just the fantasies I'm used to having, almost like I'm drowning and reaching out for a hand. I started going on walks in my city, and I feel like a total stranger in my own hometown. I don't know anyone, a whole new generation of people have walked right pass me. I've missed my bus, and now I'm stuck all alone…

That makes total sense and is why I've always kept "one foot in the water". I've maintained contact through message or occasional visitors. But since being forced to move into a house where I basically just have my own room….i don't want visitors and I'm ready to end things because of the treatment from 3 immediate family members, including my mother who owns this run down house I have a room in.

Basically…I can see how you would get to that point if you weren't making an effort to maintain some friendships in some way. It's only taken a month of deciding to not communicate anymore for me to feel free to pass over. I just decided I didn't want to listen to anybody's life events anymore. I was always simply maintaining contact… and I don't want to repeat myself on the phone about the dire situation I'm in anymore. It makes me feel worse..not better.

I spent most of my life worrying about not being alone, and for that reason I tried to stay in touch with friends and stuff like that. Then when I started my journey towards the end, I started self-isolating because I think there's no point in having relationships when you know you're nearing your final years, but the surprising thing is that I feel good being alone, and I just want to disappear completely from other people's lives.

Exactly how I feel.

 

[CarrotEater]

Nope.

Feels great while it is a choice, feels terrible once people no longer want to spend time with you.

 

[Pluto]

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,
The majority of human interactions are just an attempt to extract labor or money from others.

The majority of folks demanding more interactions hope to profit from the labor and may profit, or their peers profit, if you get injured or ill in the course of all that work or 'it's not healthy not to' socializing.

Do what you have to do, not what the Letting Therapists Feel Good About Being Employment Agencies (and Injury Farmers) industry demands.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I'm yet to meet or talk to anyone who feels how I do. I can spend months on my own, as long as I have a tv..and be happily amused. I'm often told not to isolate myself, but I don't have the same feelings to isolation as others seem to. It makes me feel good…and seeing others is effort. Partly due to my level of physical pain and the different course my life has taken. I no longer know anybody I can relate to but I don't get lonely or sad being on my own. I've met people that like being on their own…but not exclusively like I do. I've laughed out loud many times today at something on the tv. Can anyone relate to this extent?

How do I put this. I can survive it. I'm very introverted. That said this is my life. And there doesn't seem much wiggle room for change. It's gotten a bit better but grossly isolated. And honestly it sucks. I would rather have close relationships (not that that has been an option) and be exhausted from my.social calendar then rested and miserable.

 

[easypeasy]

How do I put this. I can survive it. I'm very introverted. That said this is my life. And there doesn't seem much wiggle room for change. It's gotten a bit better but grossly isolated. And honestly it sucks. I would rather have close relationships (not that that has been an option) and be exhausted from my.social calendar then rested and miserable.

That's a very eloquent way to put it.

 

[needthebus]

I was always slightly unusual looking and sounding and some people would be really mean to me. I'm also very sensitive. The combination means in social situations it requires a lot of effort and not always much reward for me connect with others, with the risk of being dropped if something better comes along. I was also sexually assaulted violently and after that I was never really happy and things were just mostly pretending to be okay when I was out. There's so much pressure for every social experience to be fun and an experience but often I am used to misery. Alone, I can just be miserable without pressure, and if I feel fleeting happiness for a moment, it's real. There's no way to be social and be openly just horribly unhappy, at least not for me.

 

[easypeasy]

I was always slightly unusual looking and sounding and some people would be really mean to me. I'm also very sensitive. The combination means in social situations it requires a lot of effort and not always much reward for me connect with others, with the risk of being dropped if something better comes along. I was also sexually assaulted violently and after that I was never really happy and things were just mostly pretending to be okay when I was out. There's so much pressure for every social experience to be fun and an experience but often I am used to misery. Alone, I can just be miserable without pressure, and if I feel fleeting happiness for a moment, it's real. There's no way to be social and be openly just horribly unhappy, at least not for me.

Wow. Your experience is very heavy and yet you articulate and understand yourself so so well. I was bullied growing up but had a glow up when I focused on losing weight and becoming healthy. It's not that easy for some. so it wasn't forever…

That said… when I became disabled with pain and permanent injuries a few years ago...I was told it was in my head because I looked so well. Another time, packing was left in my face after an assault and subsequent surgery. The same thing happened then: the woman looked at me and said "you've still got your looks". She sounded very jealous. And I had rotting packing inside my face because of her.. for 3 months. I also had hardware in my feet left in for a year when it was embedded in soft tissue because I presented so well. I was accused of having a low pain threshold.

i know this is off topic and nobody asked but im coming close to the end so i think i feel inspiring to share. My problem is i appeared so well.. nobody thought anything was wrong. Even the female lawyer made me cry.

Finally a year later it came out it was the worst medical negligence case they'd seen. They were wrong. But it was too late.

 

[getoutgirl]

I have a love/hate relationship with isolation that has developed over time and squirms like a worm out of my understanding. Currently and for the past 6 months or so I have allienated most of my friends, ignored calls and text and haven't seen any in person. So I'm not behaving great in that regard, and yet I've been worse. Couple years ago I spent a few months just locked in my dorm, just me, the blankets and the screen, doing pretty much the same thing as now and feeling like the safest most comfortable depressed suicidal piece of shit cocoon in existence.

I have this great constant impulse to cut everyone off, close the door, seal the windows, turn the light off, and dissappear into my burrow. And I've followed it through multiple times. I'm halfway there. I crave it, it calls to me, and it makes me feel safe. Yet when I'm there, It corrodes me in such an internal, cold and subtle manner that just makes me want to curl into it more and die. It's betraying. It frees me of the pain but makes the void bigger. It's also inevitably very closely tied with death. It paints it as the ultimate isolation, also desirable, but in a mean way. I don't know how much of all that is just suicidal depression that I would have anyways or whether I could ever indeed be happy isolating like I'd like. All I know is it does Not make me feel happy, it leeches out the pain.