Discussion Do you feel ‘guilt and shame’ about wanting to CTB when you see and realise someone objectively have to deal with something truly worse?

[zherhk]

As title says.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

No
I feel sorry for them, but everyone have their own threshold.

 

[charlottewilts]

no. just like with physical pain, everyone has a threshold for psychological pain.

 

[Jean4]

Who is to say one person's pain is greater than another?

 

[Morphinekiss]

Who is to say one person's pain is greater than another?

Exactly this. Everyone is unique in what they are equipped to handle, mentally and physically. I think people forget this too often.

 

[YukiFox]

Yes. I will list my top 3 of reasons why I feel guilty for taking my life:
1. I'm a transgender person and I feel sympathy and compassion for every story of LGBT suicides. And I ask a lot of it worth to be another one.
2. I believe in my capacity of making stories. So I want to make some novels and short stories (Mostly fantasy and sci-fi) , even I don't get famous by a important publishing company. If happen, I feel guilty about being another author who dies by suicide.
3. The death of a college friend by suicide. Yes, I told thousand times this history, but there's a before and after since her death. I saw a lot of grief and despair in her family and friends after that day, even her best friend had an attempt too and was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward. So I tried to convince myself of "You're so egoistic and unfair for her memory to thinking about that! Don't you have solidarity with her and their family?"
And stuff like that . But some part of me has a "F&#$#& the world" button to press them and CTB at any moment without regrets.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Perhaps the people who subject themselves to live terribly are just suckers and saps?

 

[BlueWidow]

I think people compare themselves to each other too often. Many people look at others in similar situations to them and assume that they're handling it better than they themselves are. However, you don't really know how that person is handling anything.
Anyone can always find one person who is better off than they are and another person who is worse off than they are to point to.

That's why I hate it when pro lifers go on and on about how "so-and-so was in such and such situation" and they handled it this way or that way. My thought is always, "So. . . Good for them if they handled the situation better than I did, but they are not me. They don't have the same combination of experiences that I have."
It's an easy way to dismiss somebody and what they're going through.

 

[Guizin239]

No. I still envy and even hate some people here who made me jealous of their lives, tho

 

[WhyIsLife56]

You shouldn't have to feel guilt or shame for wanting to end your own life.
You're the one that has to go through the pain and suffering that causes you to want to end your own life.
Why would you feel guilt and shame for that? On who's standards? What standards?
Don't compare your pain with anyone else's. It's your pain. You had go through with it. Isn't that reason enough?
If you think you feel guilt and shame that means someone is projecting their insecurities and guilt onto you.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I do feel an element of guilt in that in some sense I will be wasting the things I should be very greatful for tht others don't have, Ive got the use of all my limbs, sight & hearing, relatively ok physical health but then I feel sad for myself that there are enough other fckd up aspects to my life that those things don't negate my desire to die. Also although it is unreasonable to say I also have a sort of jealousy of other peoples problems on here- and irl-like I think- oh if that was my only problem I would be ok - but everyone has there own personal feelings, wants & needs that aren't being met in order to live the life that they wanted- so in that sense I understand everyone's reasons. And at the end of the day, so many people with objectively "good" or "ok" lives kill themselves- so something must have either lacking or too much for them.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

No. Life is ours and we decide when we want to end it. No matter what others are going through. Some people can deal with some things, some people not.

 

[LastWhisper]

No. I think you should never consider your or someone's reason to CTB as "not enough".

 

[WaitingAround2Die]

Yes and no.

Yes: Objectively I have much to be thankful for [physical health; housing; my partner]. Compared with people with terminal illness, chronic pain, the homeless, the loveless, my life is good...BUT

No: subjectively I feel hopeless and trapped. Worst of all I feel empty.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Yes. Especially knowing that I once had a chance for a happy life but I blew it. Lots of people here were victims of some horrible injustice while I brought on my own destruction. My problems aren't nearly as terrible as some I've read on here, yet I am still weakened by the past and keep running in circles.
It ties in with the fact that I've always been too fragile for this world.

 

[Moonicide]

No. Everyone's reason to CTB is valid. There is no such thing as who has had it worse or less worse, etc... It's hurting you. It's impacting you. It's happening to you. Your suffering is real and valid. Someone else's experiences do not hold weight to yours. No such thing.

 

[robin999]

for me yes and no because my friend is suicidal and he lost his mom recently so i have a lot of guilt thinking about ctb i would not want him in anymore pain then he's in now but then again i'm in my own pain that he can't relate too

 

[Ness]

Yeah, I get that feeling. I've grown up hearing about how people have it worse and I should be grateful for what I have and maybe it's not the best but it's still better than others. So whenever I think about how awful I feel I get that guilt because I could be having it so much worse. I feel like I don't have the right to complain, my pain is worth less than others pain. And I know it's wrong to think like this but it's what the world has taught me and it's not that easy to shake.

 

[astro]

No. Otherwise everbody would feel guilty because somebody is always worse off.

 

[Gardener59]

Yes and no.

Yes: Objectively I have much to be thankful for [physical health; housing; my partner]. Compared with people with terminal illness, chronic pain, the homeless, the loveless, my life is good...BUT

No: subjectively I feel hopeless and trapped. Worst of all I feel empty.

Same

 

[TNDNBTG]

I feel guilt and shame for practically everything just because I'm a miserable pos lol

Anyone else?

 

[2Min2Midnight]

No as nobody but you can quantify your suffering and your reasons to CTB, It serves no purpose to attempt to relativize your situation vs the rest of this board or even the rest of the world.

 

[Aeathelina]

No it just makes me feel worse about myself which pushes me closer to the end.

 

[Grandexit]

I feel horrible when I read the news. But I feel horrible as well stumbling around my house nearly unable to take care of anything because of my depression. Sometimes I like to think if I'm gone, I won't be using up resources that other people can have.

 

[Let'sgetoutofHERE]

As title says.

Yes, but then again if I continued to live (at least the way I do now) I'd feel even guiltier, so

I feel horrible when I read the news. But I feel horrible as well stumbling around my house nearly unable to take care of anything because of my depression. Sometimes I like to think if I'm gone, I won't be using up resources that other people can have.

Same!!

 

[arposandra]

Who is to say one person's pain is greater than another?

Exactly.

Saying be happy because somebody has it worse is the same as saying be sad because somebody has it better. Just because I may seem ok with a bunch of bullet holes doesn't mean somebody else's papercut and sprained ankle doesn't hurt.

If you're hurting then you're hurting.

 

[Tamazi 123]

Totally, from the outside I have the life, a wonderful supportive husband, a 16m old baby girl, nice house and car ......and crippling anxiety that screams at me to kill myself to escape I've been battling it and losing for ages and I've had enough. I believe it's better not to expose my kid to it when shes older and better she never remembers

 

[Deleted-User-0]

CTB is a very personal path one might take for multiple reasons some might have deep roots in many aspects of life maybe some going back all the way to one's childhood.
The comparison of a single situation to draw a conclusion of guilt, shame etc on someone who intends to CTB is totally absurd in my opinion as all the other contributors are ignored in this simplistic comparison.

 

[TAW122]

I'm have a mixed feeling, but ultimately, the short answer for me is no, I don't feel 'guilt and shame' about wanting to CTB. This is because my life that I am living and experiencing is mine and mine alone. Also, like others have stated in this thread, everyone's limits, thresholds, and tolerances are all different. Some pain might be nothing for others, but to someone else (not that specific person), it could be just too much for him/her. I also don't owe anything to anyone and vice versa, so in that regard I am free to exit this existence whenever I choose (not needing approval, justification, or permission).

 

[avoid_slow_death]

No, but to clarify, I do feel that some people have a more clear cut reason to make such a decision. That said, when one is so irrecoverablely damaged either psychologically or phisiologicaly, it becomes an all consuming personal thing that can only be appeased by releasing oneself from the agony they feel through such means.