Discussion Do you feel an idiot telling your "friends" that you will die soon?

[Quinlor]

I always unintentionally tell my friends that I will die soon and I have no plans for my future and etc. I feel an idiot because I know that they judge me for I am a depressed person for years. In the same time, it's like a warning about what I think or I'll do. A friend of mine said to me one time that if I ctb he would understand but of course he didn't want to be around when I really did that (he lives in Japan).

 

[trynacbt]

I don't tell my friends this because they would very surely tell my family members and my attempt would be destroyed before I could get to it. I have to keep my lips sealed and do everything in secret. To be honest it's strangely thrilling for me. Part of why I want to ctb is because I feel like I'll never be independent/be able to take care of myself/make my own life. Oddly enough this ctb process by SN will probably end up being the single most autonomous thing I do (in terms of its scope, enacting my will, carrying all the procedures through to the end). The irony. So yeah, can't tell anybody, though it is strange to hear other people making plans for years down the line and always thinking, oh, I won't be around.

 

[Are you lost too?]

I don't tell anyone. It will only get in the way.

I don't tell my friends this because they would very surely tell my family members and my attempt would be destroyed before I could get to it. I have to keep my lips sealed and do everything in secret. To be honest it's strangely thrilling for me. Part of why I want to ctb is because I feel like I'll never be independent/be able to take care of myself/make my own life. Oddly enough this ctb process by SN will probably end up being the single most autonomous thing I do (in terms of its scope, enacting my will, carrying all the procedures through to the end). The irony. So yeah, can't tell anybody, though it is strange to hear other people making plans for years down the line and always thinking, oh, I won't be around.

When I hear people's plans for the future, what I think about is, in a way, how much I miss having those plans. I don't see me having the will to do anything more with my life. In a way this sadness tell me I don't really want to die. But I don't feel like I have the will power to do anything else.

 

[Hexen]

I don't tell anyone. It will only get in the way.


When I hear people's plans for the future, what I think about is, in a way, how much I miss having those plans. I don't see me having the will to do anything more with my life. In a way this sadness tell me I don't really want to die. But I don't feel like I have the will power to do anything else.

Jesus christ I can relate to that A LOT

 

[Grey-zone]

I don't have any friends to tell.

 

[Quinlor]

I don't have any friends to tell.

I put "" because they aren't really friends but acquaintances. I my age (36), most people that I know have spouse, family and dont have time to give attention to people like me

 

[Rachel74]

No as I've no friends apart from on here and they wouldn't stop unless they thought I was undecided. My partner knows of my desire so does my sister who I must say not being mega close as actually been pretty amazing

 

[Moon Flower]

I kind of toe the line a lot because I don't want anyone to be too surprised, but I also try not to say anything alarming enough that I'll be stopped.
I do, however, have one friend who told me he wouldn't judge me and it's my decision what I do with my life, and he allowed me to talk at length about my plan and promised to keep it a secret.

 

[pole]

I always unintentionally tell my friends that I will die soon and I have no plans for my future and etc. I feel an idiot because I know that they judge me for I am a depressed person for years. In the same time, it's like a warning about what I think or I'll do. A friend of mine said to me one time that if I ctb he would understand but of course he didn't want to be around when I really did that (he lives in Japan).

Last thing id wanna do is tell someone of my ctb plans. It already hurts thinking about how people who have an emotional attachment to you would feel over you're eventual death. but i guess telling them, just increases the likelihood for them to blame themselves for not seeing the "signs" in a sense after you're death.

 

[A3re733]

You should.

Because that's how you are taken to mental hospitals and end up way worse than before.

 

[Squiddy]

I don't tell my friends this because they would very surely tell my family members and my attempt would be destroyed before I could get to it. I have to keep my lips sealed and do everything in secret. To be honest it's strangely thrilling for me. Part of why I want to ctb is because I feel like I'll never be independent/be able to take care of myself/make my own life. Oddly enough this ctb process by SN will probably end up being the single most autonomous thing I do (in terms of its scope, enacting my will, carrying all the procedures through to the end). The irony. So yeah, can't tell anybody, though it is strange to hear other people making plans for years down the line and always thinking, oh, I won't be around.

That's another reason why I wanna ctb. I don't think I'll ever be independent either

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I always unintentionally tell my friends that I will die soon and I have no plans for my future and etc. I feel an idiot because I know that they judge me for I am a depressed person for years. In the same time, it's like a warning about what I think or I'll do. A friend of mine said to me one time that if I ctb he would understand but of course he didn't want to be around when I really did that (he lives in Japan).

I would advise to NOT do this … if you are serious about CTB. I did tell a buddy of mine I wanted to die a few years ago but not that I was serious about going through with it. He did get upset so we don't discuss it anymore. I don't see him all the time either.
I don't know what country you are from but it could get you locked up for a psych eval.

 

[Quinlor]

I would advise to NOT do this … if you are serious about CTB. I did tell a buddy of mine I wanted to die a few years ago but not that I was serious about going through with it. He did get upset so we don't discuss it anymore. I don't see him all the time either.
I don't know what country you are from but it could get you locked up for a psych eval.

Thanks for the advised... I'll try to keep my mouth shut, so speaking

 

[Sweet emotion]

I would never tell anyone this

 

[THCTemplar]

I don't have any friends to tell.

I'm sorry. I'm getting to that point myself.

 

[itsmeagain]

I kind of toe the line a lot because I don't want anyone to be too surprised, but I also try not to say anything alarming enough that I'll be stopped.
I do, however, have one friend who told me he wouldn't judge me and it's my decision what I do with my life, and he allowed me to talk at length about my plan and promised to keep it a secret.

I feel like that absolutely. I won't lie, but I won't give any indication, I won't say I want to die, I won't hint at anything because... People can be selfish.

 

[TAW122]

I don't announce my CTB plans to anyone IRL. Not only would that put me in jeopardy for intervention and interference, I also don't want to complicate things when I just want to exit and end my suffering. Mostly because I can't afford to get saved and my freedom stripped from me against my will.

 

[Mort]

For me thats not a problem as i have no friends best way in the end the few i had ended up stabbing me in the back. Especially the larst one thort she was the one who i could trust telling her any thing a best friend for life HA was i wrong as ways she just stop talking to me she just ghosted me dont know why o what for . But she done me a faver in the end she finally got it in my head that they no one you can ever trust ever not even my parents at the end of the day .

 

[mukluk0713]

I did have a friend who told me they would understand and wouldn't judge me if I decided to end my life, after one drunken conversation where I said I could not keep finding reasons to keep living through all of the bullshit. Beyond that, though, I usually avoid telling people. Mostly out of fear of being locked up in a psych ward or it causing drama for my family as some "good samaritan" tries to tell them to get me help or some such. But to each their own. It is a personal decision, just like the decision to ctb itself.

 

[Broken Chimera]

No one irl knows my plans and I plan on keeping it that way.

 

[Mm80]

I tink the truth may be that our friends and family like us and maybe for selfish reasons would want us to stick around. I would only tell someone who i thought could handle the emotional weight of it and understand my points.

 

[Final Escape]

I can only tell one or two people, who I know won't do anything like call the cops to take me to a crisis center.

 

[goomsoom]

All I have is some friends on SS I think they will understand, if they are still here when I leave.

 

[MikhailDan]

When I say it to one of my friend he was not believe that everything was so bad with my health. He know me long time and see me healthy. But now I have serious problems - chronic heart failure III, I think it very hard to understand this.
But I planning to say him when I was ready to go.