I completely relate to your feelings of alienation... After 'lonely', 'alienated' would be the word that describes me best. Though perhaps 'lonely' and 'alienated' are sensations which are intrinsically woven together: perhaps the only sensation of 'harmony' some of us will know :)
The troubling feeling of alienation I feel when coming here I have found deeply perplexing... It should not be so—I could not find a more like-minded group within which to mesh. Perhaps that is why I continue to return to this domain: some vain hope of conquering this self-hatred, paranoia, and fear amongst those with whom I can identify as safe... But then I post something as idiotic as this and everything is reset to zero and I am embarrassed and filled with self-loathing and hide under the covers for two days.