Venting Do you ever feel like you've hit your lowpoint? But then it just keeps going?

[Sphene]

I've been ill with a chronic illness for nearly 20 years, which has made me housebound for the majority of the time.

This life of constant pain just doesn't seem worth living anymore. I have nothing to show for in life. I could honestly have been in a coma for the past 20 years and it would probably have been an improvement - maybe my mental health wouldn't be so bad at least then.

I just feel ready to end things, even put in an order for something that will hopefully arrive soon. I'm not even feeling sad about it - I kind of look forward to it in a weird way. Hopefully it wont get seized in customs, but we'll see.

There's still a sliver of hope left in me, but I expect that it will fade soon enough.

 

[peewee]

sorry to hear of your suffering - i would say if theres a sliver of hope left , listen to it though. im pro-choice, but as we know, ctb cannot be undone. you lose nothing by postponing it, giving your hope a real chance xx

 

[Sphene]

sorry to hear of your suffering - i would say if theres a sliver of hope left , listen to it though. im pro-choice, but as we know, ctb cannot be undone. you lose nothing by postponing it, giving your hope a real chance xx

Thank you for your kind words :) The physical and mental pain has just reached a point where it feels like there's no escape left, other than the obvious one. Even if I were to somehow get through this - I struggle to see how I'll ever be able to find a life with joy in it. It'll just be more suffering towards the end =/

 

[XiaroX]

I've been ill with a chronic illness for nearly 20 years, which has made me housebound for the majority of the time.

This life of constant pain just doesn't seem worth living anymore. I have nothing to show for in life. I could honestly have been in a coma for the past 20 years and it would probably have been an improvement - maybe my mental health wouldn't be so bad at least then.

I just feel ready to end things, even put in an order for something that will hopefully arrive soon. I'm not even feeling sad about it - I kind of look forward to it in a weird way. Hopefully it wont get seized in customs, but we'll see.

There's still a sliver of hope left in me, but I expect that it will fade soon enough.

My situation is probably very different to yours, but I've also been housebound, for almost 25 years, with some exceptions. I don't have a phone and have never had a personal visitor in all these years. The police came a couple of times due to hacking issues - my brother could not contact me by phone or email, and I couldn't either, nor could my friend - and btw, this has still not been resolved, and I've just decided it's probably safer for my brother. It's terrible, I'm sorry about your pain and if I hijacked your thread in an insensitive way.

I would encourage you to hold on to that sliver of hope, if you can. For as long as you can, because it seems like you might want to, you might want some support, kindness.

 

[Sphene]

My situation is probably very different to yours, but I've also been housebound, for almost 25 years, with some exceptions. I don't have a phone and have never had a personal visitor in all these years. The police came a couple of times due to hacking issues - my brother could not contact me by phone or email, and I couldn't either, nor could my friend - and btw, this has still not been resolved, and I've just decided it's probably safer for my brother. It's terrible, I'm sorry about your pain and if I hijacked your thread in an insensitive way.

I would encourage you to hold on to that sliver of hope, if you can. For as long as you can, because it seems like you might want to, you might want some support, kindness.

Thank you, that's really kind :) I might not have understood your whole story, but it really sounds like you've been through something incredibly though too. Being isolated for so long would be hard on anyone. You're definitely not alone in that. It's been years since my last social visit in person. Online friends helped me a bit for a while too, even if it's obviously not the same as actually seing people in person.

I hope you're able to find some comfort and some moments of happiness where you can :)

 

[wordsoutb4sumnelsin]

Heck yeah! Mad props to both of you for having dealt with the adversity y'all have. I can see some society where we would be honored to even get ANY words from y'all, having/wanting to be here. And hey, ANY want is SOMETHING (tho ill be real, for myself I'm also reminding myself of the living being's survival instincts. cuz that shit's real too...)

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Yes. Rock bottom and then it just keeps getting worse and worse. A bottomless pit of never-ending shit.

 

[Sphene]

Yes. Rock bottom and then it just keeps getting worse and worse. A bottomless pit of never-ending shit.

People always says it gets better, but sometime it just doesn't.

It's so weird - It seems like we live in a world where a human life seems to be worth less and less (at least in the western world), but decent and humane ways of ending it is not freely availabile =/

Sure, there's a few programs. But if you have mental health issues, you won't get accepted anyway.