You know, that feeling of apathy and despair when you just know the best moments of your life are already behind you. When your thought process is so impaired that you can't help yourself anymore, but just barely function on autopilot.
For me, it's about not being wanted. I have 2 people in the world that treat me right and love me, and the one I care about the most about in this world says she can't stay with me, because she wants kids and I'm just too fucked up to be up to the task. All the other people I loved were either not interested or treated me like shit.
It's also the feeling that I'm not growing as a person anymore. It's feels like with every day passing, I'm just dumber, lamer and barely capable of human interaction.
And oooooh boy, these two things interact in such ways, no wonder depression is such a plague in modern societies. Because you have to be useful to others in one way or another to be wanted. That's just the way humans are. You need to be smart and competent to have a job. You've gotta be cool and interesting to have friends. You need all of this and then some to be loved. And to maintain all of those things, you need decent social skills.
So what happens to you, exactly, when nobody wants you? They say social isolation activates the same parts of the nervous system that handles pain. In modern days, since we live comfortable lives with relatively few real dangers, you die inside, slowly but surely. Seriously, I don't even feel human anymore.
That's because being alone back in the good ol' days actually resulted in death. Maybe it was better back then. Maybe it was quicker and felt less like torture. So here we are, with a civilization that glorifies models, stars and demands impossible standards for success, but practically outlaws suicide. It's kinda fucked-up.
For me, it's about not being wanted. I have 2 people in the world that treat me right and love me, and the one I care about the most about in this world says she can't stay with me, because she wants kids and I'm just too fucked up to be up to the task. All the other people I loved were either not interested or treated me like shit.
It's also the feeling that I'm not growing as a person anymore. It's feels like with every day passing, I'm just dumber, lamer and barely capable of human interaction.
And oooooh boy, these two things interact in such ways, no wonder depression is such a plague in modern societies. Because you have to be useful to others in one way or another to be wanted. That's just the way humans are. You need to be smart and competent to have a job. You've gotta be cool and interesting to have friends. You need all of this and then some to be loved. And to maintain all of those things, you need decent social skills.
So what happens to you, exactly, when nobody wants you? They say social isolation activates the same parts of the nervous system that handles pain. In modern days, since we live comfortable lives with relatively few real dangers, you die inside, slowly but surely. Seriously, I don't even feel human anymore.
That's because being alone back in the good ol' days actually resulted in death. Maybe it was better back then. Maybe it was quicker and felt less like torture. So here we are, with a civilization that glorifies models, stars and demands impossible standards for success, but practically outlaws suicide. It's kinda fucked-up.
