Discussion Do you ever break down when you finally are alone?

[Freedom Believer]

Yes. I scream and cry. My poor puppy does not know what to do. I have to hold it in all day long at work. It all comes out when I'm finally alone. :( How long can this torment go on? I just need to have peace. Life is just hell for me. :(

We can find peace in the afterlife, if not, then endless sleep.

 

[xBrialesana]

Now that my dog has passed I literally don't know what to do and can't stand being alone it's eerie and fuck I hate it without him it's unsettling after 20 years

 

[exhausted]

Yes.

 

[Freedom Believer]

Now that my dog has passed I literally don't know what to do and can't stand being alone it's eerie and fuck I hate it without him it's unsettling after 20 years

I'm sorry about your loss. Loneliness is a terrible thing.

 

[LMLN]

Now that my dog has passed I literally don't know what to do and can't stand being alone it's eerie and fuck I hate it without him it's unsettling after 20 years

I'm so sorry that you lost your dog. :( Have you considered getting another one? My 11 year old dog died on May. It took some time but I have another one now. He really does help me so much. I think it could help you. There is unconditional love with them that helps so much. ❤

 

[Freedom Believer]

Yes.

:(

 

[waterbottleman]

I wish I could cry and have a breakdown but I can't. Idk what is wrong with me but even when I try to make myself cry by thinking about sad things I just can't do it. The most I can do is make my eyes water, but it never goes beyond that.

Furthermore some people don't cry to express their negative emotions but they get really angry and have fits of rage. Well that doesn't happen to me either, I've never really been an angry person. Anger is an emotion I just don't experience that often and even when I do it isn't that strong.

I think my mechanism for releasing emotional pressure is physical intimacy, however I can't get that since I'm an unloveable loser.

So I guess my emotions just build up inside me with no escape valve, and well here I am!

 

[Polly]

Now that my dog has passed I literally don't know what to do and can't stand being alone it's eerie and fuck I hate it without him it's unsettling after 20 years

yes I totally understand. One if the reasons I am still here is that I know my cat will be forced to ctb after I do and I've been trying to give him time. He's 14 and been a great cat but isn't adoptable (sadly) so it's me or nothing.

 

[Freedom Believer]

I wish I could cry and have a breakdown but I can't. Idk what is wrong with me but even when I try to make myself cry by thinking about sad things I just can't do it. The most I can do is make my eyes water, but it never goes beyond that.

That can happen sometimes where you want to cry and can't I don't know why it happens, but its saved me from being caught crying at home.

 

[Ame]

Your dog must love you very much. I'm sorry that you've in so much pain lately. There is no shame in crying when you need to and sometimes you need to get it out. I haven't broken down in a while...even though I've wanted to. I just cannot being myself to let it out. The closest I've had to a proper "crying" fit was last night, and even then, it was just tears, no sobbing or anything like that. I've been disconnected from my feelings.

I would not recommend cutting because it can very quickly become addicting. As with many addictions, you will likely find that you need to do more and more harm to yourself to get the same payoff. Please, seriously reconsider self-harming, it really isn't worth it.

 

[Freedom Believer]

Your dog must love you very much. I'm sorry that you've in so much pain lately. There is no shame in crying when you need to and sometimes you need to get it out. I haven't broken down in a while...even though I've wanted to. I just cannot being myself to let it out. The closest I've had to a proper "crying" fit was last night, and even then, it was just tears, no sobbing or anything like that. I've been disconnected from my feelings.

I would not recommend cutting because it can very quickly become addicting. As with many addictions, you will likely find that you need to do more and more harm to yourself to get the same payoff. Please, seriously reconsider self-harming, it really isn't worth it.

I would never cut myself. I would never have the courage to do it anyways. Yes, my dog loves me even when she had to put up with my antics. She does help make things better though.

 

[xBrialesana]

I'm so sorry that you lost your dog. :( Have you considered getting another one? My 11 year old dog died on May. It took some time but I have another one now. He really does help me so much. I think it could help you. There is unconditional love with them that helps so much. ❤

I'm too dead inside to reply to everyone but thank you all for the responses! Honestly it's been difficult. Animals really do bring us all together tho :)

I'm sorry again abbit your dog :( I had Lucky from age 5-25, he passed in December it would be far too soon (for me personally, people deal different). But no, I hung in for him because he literally needed me (meds all day, constant care because he was so old). I knew when I left he would've been put down. So I stayed for him and kept the promise I made when I was 12 that I wouldn't do anything until he passed. He hung on 20 years because he knew I needed him! He gave me a few more years to try and see if this life thing worked out for me, which unfortunately isn't the case but that's okay. Thanks again lovies

 

[Rushon]

Well my ex girlfriend took my dogs so that part is out, but yes I do cry a lot, especially if I watch sad movies, etc.

 

[Broken Chimera]

I did a couple of years ago. But now I'm so numb, besides anger I really don't feel anything anymore.

Now that my dog has passed I literally don't know what to do and can't stand being alone it's eerie and fuck I hate it without him it's unsettling after 20 years

That's how I felt after I lost mine. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[TheOA]

I cry alone every single day. In the shower. In the car. In the bed. In the closet.

The energy I expend trying to maintain any semblance of "normalcy" can only be replinished with tears.

 

[Freedom Believer]

I cry alone every single day. In the shower. In the car. In the bed. In the closet.

The energy I expend trying to maintain any semblance of "normalcy" can only be replinished with tears.

My life now in a nutshell.

 

[TheEndof]

All the damn time. Though, lately it's been hard to cry. I usually end up just sitting there and staring at the wall for a while. Sometimes I scream into a pillow to let out all that emotion.

 

[Pan]

Now that my dog has passed I literally don't know what to do and can't stand being alone it's eerie and fuck I hate it without him it's unsettling after 20 years

Yes, that's very tough; although I have new dog,when I lost my German Shepherd a part of me died too.

 

[Freedom Believer]

All the damn time. Though, lately it's been hard to cry. I usually end up just sitting there and staring at the wall for a while. Sometimes I scream into a pillow to let out all that emotion.

It's tough sometimes to go through the day.

 

[S1mpleme]

When the house is empty except for me usually I just break down and cry loudly. I stop when either I run out of tears or my dog starts licking away my tears and I start to laugh. Does that happen to anyone?

Like whole my life, except for the dog, I don't even have a dog.

 

[Freedom Believer]

Like whole my life, except for the dog, I don't even have a dog.

A dog helps, sometimes even a dog doesn't help.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I can't break down. I've tried one time last year when I was at the challenger deep of my life, I mean I really tried. But I just couldn't. Nothing would come out. I knew then that I was already dead inside. After struggling with depression my entire life, it's only been within the past year-and-a-half where it's been this bad.

 

[LavenderMemories]

Its weird. 95% of the time, I go through life feeling nothing. I just float along doing what I need to do to keep a roof over my head.. but there are times where I start to cry. The crying comes from DEEP down inside. I cry so hard I can hardly breathe or stand. Sometimes I yell and ask what the fuck I did to deserve this life. Then, when it passes, its back to feeling nothing.

 

[S1mpleme]

A dog helps, sometimes even a dog doesn't help.

I don't want to have pets cause I don't want to leave them if I die.

 

[Pan]

That is smart thinking. Hi there I am considering ctb soon and realize it would be so much easier without my little dog. I have stipulated in my will that I want him euthanized after my death

 

[Xaphous]

Sometimes let out anger when NPC parents leave the house which is rare they do

 

[TAW122]

Yes, I do occasionally. Whenever I am reminded of something or recall some past problems, I do have a short breakdown that could last for a few minutes or sometimes for over an hour or more.

 

[Achillesheel]

I always break down when I alone. I do a good job of hiding how I feel around ppl.

 

[Mr2005]

No. I'm so used to this it's scary. It takes exceptional circumstances like a funeral or something

 

[Cupcake]

When the house is empty except for me usually I just break down and cry loudly. I stop when either I run out of tears or my dog starts licking away my tears and I start to laugh. Does that happen to anyone?

Oh, how I wish I could. I haven't had a good cry in… I can't even remember!



I've tried to cry because I've heard that crying is healthy, and I actually do feel better on the rare occasion that I do cry. It relaxes me, though I also hate crying because, once I start, it's very, very hard to stop.



It's like trying to stop a burst pipe, lol! Or a waterfall out in nature.



I think that's why I don't do it often, or at all, anymore. And, I think I'm just dead inside, too, honestly. I can't even seem to feel love for anyone anymore, not even my partner, whereas, before, even the thought of losing him through death or a breakup would make me tear up immediately.



Now, when I think that, I just feel nothing. Nothing but numbness.



What's better, total numbness or not being able to stop crying? I wonder.



Anyway, thanks for this thread.



Peace/hugs to you all.



Cupcake