coolgal82
she/her, terminally silly :3
- Sep 10, 2024
- 258
(i posted this originally on 4chan on /lgbt/ but thought i'd ask here too)
Just curious
personally i do. i tend to just get pissed off and hate my besties randomly over like just them talking to eachother without me or like them ignoring me or whatever? then i just go off of discord the whole day and stew in my anger cus i dont wanna confront them directly cus its scary and i'd be seen as the villain lmao. my most recent moment was different though when i yelled at them that they all hated me and left the server just cus one of them left vc early two times lmao.
also recently i basically harassed someone into blocking me on discord because i couldnt handle my emotions of missing her (we werent even that close but fuck i miss her) lmao.
and like i've looked at it objectively, i do bad stuff and recognise that its bad and yet i dont stop doing it, thus i must be objectively evil.
this is a big part of why i wanna ctb. the weird bit is also like despite this half of my brain is convinced im not bad and im a perfect angel who can do no wrong, which usually happens whenever anyone calls me out on it which i hate because theyre objectively right but the subjective part of my brain disagrees and freaks out (it also happens when i try and think that im bad sometimes? i have a lil internal civil war in my brain and it feels like its getting torn in half)
Just curious
personally i do. i tend to just get pissed off and hate my besties randomly over like just them talking to eachother without me or like them ignoring me or whatever? then i just go off of discord the whole day and stew in my anger cus i dont wanna confront them directly cus its scary and i'd be seen as the villain lmao. my most recent moment was different though when i yelled at them that they all hated me and left the server just cus one of them left vc early two times lmao.
also recently i basically harassed someone into blocking me on discord because i couldnt handle my emotions of missing her (we werent even that close but fuck i miss her) lmao.
and like i've looked at it objectively, i do bad stuff and recognise that its bad and yet i dont stop doing it, thus i must be objectively evil.
this is a big part of why i wanna ctb. the weird bit is also like despite this half of my brain is convinced im not bad and im a perfect angel who can do no wrong, which usually happens whenever anyone calls me out on it which i hate because theyre objectively right but the subjective part of my brain disagrees and freaks out (it also happens when i try and think that im bad sometimes? i have a lil internal civil war in my brain and it feels like its getting torn in half)