I live in a really small town were suicide is not common, I have everything I need but my PTSD doesn't let me live a normal life I'm just tire of it I just want to rest but I'm really concern of what people are going to say about me once I cbt do you feel the same way? How can I stop thinking about people opinion about me?
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MsSelfsabotage
Member
- Feb 7, 2022
- 22
Why do you care? When you're dead you won't even know what they're gonna say. People talk shit all day all night wether you're alive or not. I'm sure there's someone right this moment talking about you. So what? And at some point those people are going to be dead in a couple of years and whatever they said or thought won't matter.Hope they understand it is a personal decision and that I am suffering. Maybe they will be angry but my life is over there's no point in going on.
Huntfish34
Enlightened
- Mar 13, 2020
- 1,619
I've thought about that myself because I'm from a small town too... But as was said above,. I'll be dead and Gone so let them say or think what they will. Fuck it.
AnestheticVoid
❤️ Dissociatives ❤️
- Feb 17, 2022
- 273
I mean it runs thru my mind but I don't really care. Let em talk.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 21,405
I don't actually care much though if I was able to peer into the real world from the afterlife, I would probably cringe if people try to grieve for me or aren't celebrating on the streets after my death. I would probably also be upset if my death leads to potential ramifications against this site which had offered much relief in my last few years. I don't want anyone to think I was recruited or brainwashed by the last refuge I had for calming myself down and passing the time by.
Reminder that if anyone comes to this site mourning me and trying to blame this site everyone here has free reign to mock and shame them for caring at all about such an evil corrupted asshole like me.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 47,292
I do not care at all personally, what other people say about me is not my concern as I will not be alive at that point. After all, it is my decision to leave this world and we all have the right to exit at a time of our own choosing. Suicide should not be so stigmatised, we will all die anyway eventually.for me one of the main reasons i'm waiting is because i don't want my death to be linked to my friends and to have people put some blame on her as i'm sure there would be those who would do that.
i know i won't be here, but i hate the thought of people talking about her in that way.
RetroChaos
Still heartbroken.
- Dec 21, 2021
- 79
It would be nice to really see how people think about me. In a cathartic sense though I'd like people to suffer in my wake just as I have.
gayscal3xo
Member
- Sep 25, 2020
- 25
Yes but only because I know my parent's don't believe in how someone can struggle so much to end their life, and so they'd probably laugh about it, and the people that attend my school probably would be using my death to better their lives (using it to like... get ahead? Idk how to word it)
demuic
Life was a mistake
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,384
There is no one to talk about me anyway, I am not close to anyone and I am even estranged from most of my immediate family. I will be dead and no longer able to feel any worries or cares.
Of The Universe
Specialist
- Dec 31, 2021
- 382
olkf
I smile by your disgrace
- Jan 21, 2022
- 161
LoneMisery
Student
- Jan 23, 2022
- 125
Leave a very detailed not that explains how difficult it is for you. I have a notebook i just keep writing negative stuff about myself in and hopefully its readable and hope it explains in detail how much i truly hate myself.
Im not sad or sick of the world i just absolutely despise myself to the max. Idc how much money or friends i can get nothing will ever make me accept myself. Very very low self esteem. And people think you can just pull yourself out with sex or friends or a good time when all that just makes me feel worse
Murasa
"The Great Little Captain"
- Dec 3, 2020
- 1,756
To a certain extent I plan to use my death to achieve something specific, but other than that, what do I care? I'll be dead by then.
I got it all sorted, I explained as much as possible, I've been so tired for years just let me rest.
BitterlyAlive_
-
- Dec 8, 2020
- 2,394
I understand how it would bother you. Sometimes I worry about it, because of the younger members of my family. But I just let the thoughts pass. I'll just be the one in the family who had it in me to kill myself. I feel like everyone in my family can relate tbh
Chiisai
To infinity and beyond!
- Sep 1, 2021
- 754
It wont matter mate. Once the deed is done, I wont be a part of this world already. Therefore, it doesnt make sense to look back when one is free from this world.
ultrafuntimes
it's funny...
- Jan 16, 2022
- 62
yes, I'm in the same boat. Don't know if this will help you, but I just try to remind myself that life will go on for them. Their opinion of you doesn't matter in the end, eventually they will move on, eventually everyone dies.
ClownMe
Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
- Apr 7, 2021
- 20,560
I really didn't want to CTB. It was last thing in my playbook. But my disease became something else the past 4 months. Like completely unlivable outside being housebound, being on disability. My gf I planned to marry will have to move on. My life is fucking over and I loved life and all the things I did. I had it all.
I worry about friends' reactions and how they remember me for this. I plan on writing something up explaining what happened with health and leaving it behind. Just something to show how severe the situation was and I couldn't do it.
I've been battling for a decade- I'm 33. Much more minor things most of the time. But now…. It's over my life is never coming back there's no treatment. I'll likely suffer slowly and die within next 3-5 years. It's just worth doing this now to save all my sadness.
I just want my friends to know that I didn't want to do this. That I loved living life. But I'm no longer here with them whether I'm alive on paper or not. The ME that enjoyed this world is dead and gone. So let him just move on.
fatefulstillness
ghost.
- Oct 24, 2021
- 151
Sometimes I think about it. Then I remember I'll be dead. If there is someone that truly loves and understands me, they'll know what happened and why. Maybe if suicide wasn't so stigmatized and taboo then more people would care to know about my situation and actually be close to me, too. Life isn't so pretty, is it?Same here, I know how you feel
Me too I never planned on cbt I was happy before July 19 of 2020 when I got assaulted that changed my life forever. I used to love my life I was happy but now I'm in constant pain physically and mentally I can't do this no more life is over for me.No. They don't know how much pain I am feeling. I hope, for them, that they never will.
jussrav
Experienced
- Sep 9, 2023
- 237
ddn.ctb
Waiting to step off in front of an audience
- Sep 9, 2023
- 236
I'd focus on what comforts you now and through the transitions. Once you are gone nothing will matter to you
Boudika
Trauma? Oh you mean reason why I'm hilarious
- Aug 22, 2023
- 169
I would honestly like to find out, because I know there will be a huge scandal and everyone will have their version of events why I did it. I will probably lead to a serious argument in the family with this and there will be interesting discussions in my high school. This is also the reason why I wouldn't want to experience a trial. Because honestly? I know that no one would treat me the same way anymore and I would be present at a huge family brawl.Similar threads
