Discussion Do you believe in the love of the people around you?

[unnecessary]

I know that illnesses like depression sabotage people, and make them not notice the love of their loved ones, but thinking with a rational and completely sincere look, do you really believe that the people close to you "really" care?
I leave my own experience, I'm sure not, in a fit of reason I could notice that I was just used and deceived, but things like that are rare to happen and I admit that, but I really want to hear your opinion

 

[onbekend]

I do believe that the majority of my family loves me still, and for that I'd argue they deserve better especially given how I've pushed them away.

 

[anonymousbookreader]

I only believe in the entirety of one persons love. Everybody else's love either isn't there or it has its limitations.

There's some people I believe love me but don't love me enough to acknowledge my struggles to the extent that they are. It has nothing to do with experience and not getting it. I know some people don't take me serious and as I've worsened they're just realizing all these years of suffering wasn't a fake.

There's people I don't think love me the way they say at all. They've shown that. The things they've done for me as acts of love were not love they were requirements. Ex: Parents who emotionally neglect and abuse me mixed in with occasional physical abuse but materialistically took care of me. That's because they have to in order to remain out of trouble, not love.

Then there's people who claim to love me but never have and never will and they've shown that time and time again.

 

[unnecessary]

I only believe in the entirety of one persons love. Everybody else's love either isn't there or it has its limitations.

There's some people I believe love me but don't love me enough to acknowledge my struggles to the extent that they are. It has nothing to do with experience and not getting it. I know some people don't take me serious and as I've worsened they're just realizing all these years of suffering wasn't a fake.

There's people I don't think love me the way they say at all. They've shown that. The things they've done for me as acts of love were not love they were requirements. Ex: Parents who emotionally neglect and abuse me mixed in with occasional physical abuse but materialistically took care of me. That's because they have to in order to remain out of trouble, not love.

Then there's people who claim to love me but never have and never will and they've shown that time and time again.

I understand your pain, sometimes I flirt with the idea that love is just a delusion, like you pretend you love me and I pretend I believe it. I'm not saying that's your case, but I'm trying to understand

 

[Alltheywanted]

I belive my family loves me but I just can't understand it in 100%.
Feelings have always been weird to me and I've always struggled to understand them, lol.
Maybe it's because I have asperger's but it's still something to think about.

 

[unnecessary]

I belive my family loves me but I just can't understand it in 100%.
Feelings have always been weird to me and I've always struggled to understand them, lol.
Maybe it's because I have asperger's but it's still something to think about.

But do you think that depression, if you have it, clouds your understanding?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't believe it can ever be enough because as all of the invalidating yet objectively true advice is always saying: sometimes we just have to fix ourselves.

No amount of external friendship or love or empathy is going to fix certain types of issues in someone no matter how many spirit bombs they produce.

At least that's the impression I got from when I once asked a similar question in a thread of mine. Even religion will say things like "god only helps those who help themselves".

 

[anonymousbookreader]

I understand your pain, sometimes I flirt with the idea that love is just a delusion, like you pretend you love me and I pretend I believe it. I'm not saying that's your case, but I'm trying to understand

Did that with my mom for a while until I stopped saying it back. It was honestly just second nature as I was raised to say it back because I used to mean it. Doubt she ever genuinely meant it. If she does, her love is sick and I wanted no parts of it.

 

[Alltheywanted]

But do you think that depression, if you have it, clouds your understanding?

I'm severely depressed and I'm sure of it, even if just a little. I remember when I was 10 years younger (about 9) I was afraid of losing my mother, so I must have felt something for her. The thing is, I don't remember it well enough to help me understand the problem ;/
Depression changed me so much that I feel like an other person from who I've been back then.

 

[EmptyHeaded]

do you really believe that the people close to you "really" care?

I'm pretty sure they don't.

 

[unnecessary]

I'm pretty sure they don't.

I understand your words, in a way some people experience solipsism

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I really do believe my closest friends love me. Why? Because if they didn't they would have left long ago. They show it in everything they do. They know about my anxieties and low energy levels and never ever tell me " I should just try'
They make up for so many things.

 

[unnecessary]

I really do believe my closest friends love me. Why? Because if they didn't they would have left long ago. They show it in everything they do. They know about my anxieties and low energy levels and never ever tell me " I should just try'
They make up for so many things.

Thank you for your words, and it's always good to read them

 

[ConfusedClouds]

I believe they do/did, I feel ashamed that I felt nothing in return. Guilt in the case of my parents who I know will have gone through so much (no significant events, just life in general) to raise me.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Not that long ago my answer would have been no. I believed that those around me didn't truly live but instead loved the idea of me. They loved the version of me that they had in their heads and I believed that at some point that image would be shattered and all that'll be left was the real me. A me that I was convinced that they would hate. I saw myself as a complete burden on everyone around me and, in a messed up way, the caused of everyone's suffering. I viewed me, the real me, as being completely unlovable.

Now, I don't know. I understand that the people in my life care about me, but I do still think that they have a hard time seeing the real me. I'm a bit reserved and closed off so I don't fault them for it. If they say they love me then I'll just take their word for it I guess. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. The only person that can ever truly understand me and that I can ever truly rely on to care about me through thick and thin is me. Thus, I must learn to care for myself because I'm the only person I can ever truly trust.

 

[divinemistress36]

My parents do and have done a lot for me . I'm bitchy all the time I don't know how they put up with me

 

[unnecessary]

My parents do and have done a lot for me . I'm a bitchy all the time I don't know how they put up with me

You don't need to beat yourself up, being honest with yourself is the most important thing