Do you actually open up to your therapist?

[Bleak]

No, not anymore. I don't think my problems are relatable to anyone and am tired of trying to explain. Plus I'm stuck doing phone appointments now so it's even harder to convey things without looks and body language.

 

[hershberger]

Yes, I do. Over the years, I tried therapy three times, and it sucked. I kept thinking, "How can all these therapists stay in business if they're useless?"

And then, I met C. She's completely honest and open (even about her life), and it's always good to see her. We have an understanding about things I can't say specifically (ctb) but we can still work around the subject without me having to worry about her calling a hospital. We even almost reversed roles a bit this spring; her father died, and you could see she was barely able to come back and handle other people's shit when she was processing her own. I reduced my sessions, and when we did talk I kind of tried to be more conversational. Don't know if it helped...I hope it did. She's talked me down 100 times. I owed her to try and do the same.

She's better now, reminding me to not use "can't" or "won't" and always stressing the long-term possibilities which ctb would never let me experience. She's realistic about what she can do, and understands I might go anyway. However, when we talk, I always feel better, even if only for a few hours. There's a tremendous benefit in that.

 

[seaweaves]

I knew I wasn't going to be able to fully trust or share. But I had the flexibility to set my own therapy goals in a way that therapy sessions mostly focused on what I wanted to cover in that moment, and so the sessions were shaped by what I felt comfortable sharing. Means not everything was handled how I needed, but was able to lie about specific facts in ways that got me the support I needed sometimes.

That's with a therapist proper; I also did informal therapeutic self work with people that I did trust more who weren't professionals (I'm moderately anti-psychiatry in the way it's taught and practiced on average). And as others have noted, it really depends on the person.

I did a lot of careful searching (with help of social work friends' recommendations) for someone who would fit my needs -- someone who was queer, trauma focused and informed, whose background went beyond medical and clinical training to more community engagement, who had experience with nonverbal people, etc... and I had the luxury of a bit of time and reaching out on my own rather than being assigned or referred professionally. Even still, I didn't fully trust or share, but I prob wouldn't have gotten as far with others as I did with them.

 

[TriggerHappy]

MAKE YR THERAPIST WORK FOR YOU :: FIND CONNECTIONS IN YR REASONING /EXCUSING /THiNKING /BEHAVIOUR...
What's the point in cherry-picking only what u feel is important to share with yr therapist?
my serial killer fantasies I shared in Noupoort Christian prison rehab got me an extra year on my sentence, but gave me the tools to overcome them. I had nothing more to lose. I was in for armed robbery so it was a logical step, that was the year columbine went down...
You must have trusting relationship, or u going nowhere.
How truthfull are u bieng about yourself?
Tell the truth and shame the devil....you have nothing to lose.
I detested him, I was rebellious, he didn't want to access my rape in institution (did later, heavy...) he had no sympathy I couldn't take him hostage... he was brilliant.
He saved my life, then...
How truthfully do you want your process to help illuminate you?
How can a therapist help u see connections, if u don't share yr truths?
It's scary, but sometimes risk is worth it....

 

[stellabelle]

It's pointless.
They go awww well too bad.
Just like everyone else.

 

[tagicoco]

I think people can over push therapy, as a knee jerk reaction, while not realising both the difficulty and inefficiency or plain incompetence of some therapists.
All I need I guess was someone who would listen and ask a few questions when I contradicted myself. In the beginning With my (4th and best) therapist when I opened up about suicide she was asking a lot of questions about suicide intentions and methods but I after a couple of time I returned with my frustration at her seeming to care more about the legalities of death then how I actually felt, and how a potential suicide overshadowed my current real tangliglbe emotions. She ended up apologising to me about how she had ignored the subtleties of what I was really saying to fulfil and satisfy her potential obligations and worries.

 

[All Things Must Pass]

Opening up to a therapist would get me arrested.

 

[stellabelle]

Opening up to a therapist would get me arrested.

Yeah, some of us.
Same old shit huh?
So it's fine for people to do this to us but it's "wrong" if we react to it.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

It's pointless.
They go awww well too bad.
Just like everyone else.

That's what mine did. I'd talk to her about being emotionally abused at home and bullied in school, but she did absolutely NOTHING to help me. She just did dumb crap like stare at me and smile. Or ask me "how does this make you feel?" Or pretend not to know what I'm talking about. I quickly learned not to expect much from her, and instead memorized a bunch of trite answers I knew she'd want to hear.

I think people can over push therapy, as a knee jerk reaction, while not realising both the difficulty and inefficiency or plain incompetence of some therapists.

You left out another part: conflict of interest. It's especially common in family therapy. That's when the patient sitting in the office is NOT the person the the\rapist is there to help. Namely, the child/teen is the patient, but the parents are the ones actually being helped "to manage their son/daughter better", and the the\rapist has to do a passable job of hiding that fact from the patient. Usually, they do it by asking stupid questions about feelings, thinking the patient won't notice the betrayal. But more often than not, anybody over the age of 10 is smart enough see right though the ruse.

Another thing: emotional abuse doesn't fall under the scope of mandated reporting. So... the patient being emotionally abused by his/her parents presents a conflict of interest. What does the the\rapist do: (A) help the patient being abused but lose the easy money, or (B) keep helping the parents and hope the patient doesn't notice the ruse? In the end, the parents walk away happy from learning manipulation tactics, the the\rapist makes $150/hour by doing absolutely nothing, and the patient gets emotionally raped but can't do anything about it.

 

[Yogobro298]

Half Truths.

 

[Brayu]

I did it, I did it... with all my old therapists

Until my last session with the new psychologist, she told me that I wanted to be the "good boy" just because she was worried about accusations that I was responsible for my grandmother's death (de covid)...

I don't know if you can trust this.

 

[Fk_life]

None of my therapists were a help to me. Even if I had the chance, I would never open up to them since I don't have the guts to.

 

[Manaaja]

Most of them knew anything about asperger/ADD/being a victim of narcissistic parents plus some of them were really LGBTIA-phobic, so what's the point? It's like speaking Chinese to a Finn, most of them will just not understand it: 你好 (=nihao=hello)

Hmm, it would be nice to relearn Chinese.

 

[Harriet]

Yes my psychologist knows every single thing about me, except the fact I'm starting to have an inappropriate crush on her

 

[Toonloon]

No. It's hard for me to open up.

 

[sleepisanescape]

No, I find it incredibly hard to open up to therapists. I'm too used to being misunderstood because, not only am I terrible at explaining myself or how I am feeling, but I always feel distrustful of them and like what I say will be used against me for whatever reason. Doesn't help that my longest therapist of 4+ years believed my abuser over me. We can't expect therapists to understand what we go through.

 

[CFLoser]

Opening up to a therapist would get me arrested.

Go to a Catholic Preist.

They are actually forced by God to not tell anything you say in Confession. So you could find like a Therapist Preist hybrid that you can tell anything too.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

No, I find it incredibly hard to open up to therapists. I'm too used to being misunderstood because, not only am I terrible at explaining myself or how I am feeling, but I always feel distrustful of them and like what I say will be used against me for whatever reason. Doesn't help that my longest therapist of 4+ years believed my abuser over me. We can't expect therapists to understand what we go through.

I had it worse than being misunderstood. My the\rapist pretended not to understand me, when I talked about something she didn't want to help me with. Things like being emotionally abused by my parents or my parents not loving me. I knew was faking, but I couldn't prove it or call her out on it, since she'd just gaslight me into being wrong. It goes without saying that she "knew" I was the problem, and her job was to help them break me, in order to help them "discipline" me better. In retrospect, that makes sense: they were paying her, so she was helping them (especially with her being their age), and not a pathetic kid like me. But at the time, it felt like a betrayal worse than Brutus stabbing Caesar. To this day, I think family the\rapists are worse for kids than Dr. Mengele (sorry!).

 

[All Things Must Pass]

They are actually forced by God to not tell anything you say in Confession. So you could find like a Therapist Preist hybrid that you can tell anything too.

No thanks, I don't support slavery. By the way, "God" also forced those women in the Philippines to get raped by Catholic priests. "God" allowed at least 330,000 kids in France to get raped by Catholic priests and their pals. Etc. Given how widespread the Catholic Church is, it's not outside the realm of possibility I am one of these victims. Your advice would then be nothing short of a hilarity.

 

[CFLoser]

No thanks, I don't support slavery. By the way, "God" also forced those women in the Philippines to get raped by Catholic priests. "God" allowed at least 330,000 kids in France to get raped by Catholic priests and their pals. Etc. Given how widespread the Catholic Church is, it's not outside the realm of possibility I am one of these victims. Your advice would then be nothing short of a hilarity.

How did God force women in the Philippines get raped by Catholic priests?

I think you need to relax and put your emotions aside.

 

[justsayin]

Go to a Catholic Preist.

They are actually forced by God to not tell anything you say in Confession. So you could find like a Therapist Preist hybrid that you can tell anything too.

Catholic God dosn't actually exist, and can't force anyone to do anything. It's the Catholic Church itself that is forcing people to keep their mouth shut. They have lost some power over recent years, which is why more and more people are talking.

That being said, you could probably confess to a Catholic priest about being suicidal without being arrested or molested.

 

[CFLoser]

Look guys I'm not totally sure about what I believe in either and I think about this a lot so I'm not the right person to debate over this.

I just wanted to give an odd suggestion that people could use if they wanted.

 

[justsayin]

Look guys I'm not totally sure about what I believe in either and I think about this a lot so I'm not the right person to debate over this.

I just wanted to give an odd suggestion that people could use if they wanted.

Maybe you need to relax and put your emotions aside. I don't care about what you believe in. I was just explainig why your suggestion may work in not getting arrested.

 

[CFLoser]

Maybe you need to relax and put your emotions aside. I don't care about what you believe in. I was just explainig why your suggestion may work in not getting arrested.

There were no emotions in that post. Why are you trying to shit on me? Lol

 

[justsayin]

There were no emotions in that post. Why are you trying to shit on me? Lol

It was a joke referencing your earlier post. You wrote the same thing to @All Things Must Pass.

 

[CFLoser]

It was a joke referencing your earlier post. You wrote the same thing to @All Things Must Pass.

My bad, I thought you were trying to dunk on me instead of just making a joke....

I guess my emotions did actually get involved. Therefore you did dunk on me

 

[Briona55]

Nah would never be honest with any of them. Only people I have come across have been genuinely toxic (not just my opinion several other of their clients thought so), patronising or cut off all my medication when they find out I do drugs lol. Can't be bothered with any of it anymore. Begged for help over half my life and it just got thrown back in my face

 

[sleepisanescape]

I had it worse than being misunderstood. My the\rapist pretended not to understand me, when I talked about something she didn't want to help me with. Things like being emotionally abused by my parents or my parents not loving me. I knew was faking, but I couldn't prove it or call her out on it, since she'd just gaslight me into being wrong. It goes without saying that she "knew" I was the problem, and her job was to help them break me, in order to help them "discipline" me better. In retrospect, that makes sense: they were paying her, so she was helping them (especially with her being their age), and not a pathetic kid like me. But at the time, it felt like a betrayal worse than Brutus stabbing Caesar. To this day, I think family the\rapists are worse for kids than Dr. Mengele (sorry!).

Mine did not believe my abuse and actively sided with my father who beat me as a child. My father was paying for the sessions so, in a similar vein to you, she believed him.

 

[Bayer]

I don't do therapy, I think it's a waste of money. sorry if i break your illusions, but there is no proof that the therapy has good effects and if so, they can be reached in any social bond

 

[Dreamlike Reality]

I have tried many times to open up to my therapist . . . I have told her in detail the extent of the abuse I have sustained from a narcissistic father and my mother's emotional manipulation. I am in the same vain with what I have read others say here that she has sided with my mother since she was the one paying for the therapy. This included purpouseful misgendering (because of my mother's transphobia . . . as some sort of shitty way to help her "change me back", or something. They know nothing) and bringing my mother into the room to just agree with her as she accused me of faking my hallucinations because 'I can still function normally most of the time'.
She blatantly defended my father as well after I told her that he beat my mother and I when I was young and we all lived together as well as threatening suicide if he couldn't see me again . . . I eventually realized it did me no good to be there if I can't trust the one person whose job is to be trustworthy. It's so horrible, not even to mention the promised confidentiality can be broken if I were to tell her about me having violent thoughts towards myself and others. It doesn't mean I'm going to kill a person . . . I just need to get the thought out of my system.
In finality, therapy did no good for me. Well, I guess I learned a lesson; you can't trust people who are being paid to listen to you . . .