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DeletedUser4739

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I understand, but to just continue rambling the same thing over and over, is not solving the issue any. The issue was taken care of when the said predator/user was banned. That should be the end if the discussion. Right now it's just a broken record in here.
It's not an end to the discussion if some members continue to experience this on an ongoing basis, regardless of whom the individual member is...unless this site was designed with being a safe haven for those with a predatory mindset, specifically against women.

We can either get it all out on the table, dance around it, or ban it all together. It must be dealt with more effectively, as it is an ongoing issue that involves enough members to fuel an endless argument. It's not an easy matter, with many layers, variables and personalities.
 
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weedoge

weedoge

Banned
Jul 12, 2018
1,525
I don't expect everyone to agree with everything, I don't agree with everything I read on this site, but I'm tame enough not to let it piss me off. There are certain subjects that would throw me off the deep end, and I could make everyone here hate me in the blink of an eye. There are several threads on the site that I will not reply to because I could really get shit going, and that's not what I'm here for.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but sometimes it's best to keep an opinion to yourself.
right, sorry
 
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DeletedUser4739

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I don't expect everyone to agree with everything, I don't agree with everything I read on this site, but I'm tame enough not to let it piss me off. There are certain subjects that would throw me off the deep end, and I could make everyone here hate me in the blink of an eye. There are several threads on the site that I will not reply to because I could really get shit going, and that's not what I'm here for.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but sometimes it's best to keep an opinion to yourself.
Teach me...seriously, I need more listening in my life. Less reaction...that shit is exhausting.

For what it's worth, I'm learning some things here, a lot from people I don't agree with. I appreciate your perspective and hope to be able to do more of that for myself (and the sake of others!).
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
It's not an end to the discussion if some members continue to experience this on an ongoing basis, regardless of whom the individual member is...unless this site was designed with being a safe haven for those with a predatory mindset, specifically against women.

We can either get it all out on the table, dance around it, or ban it all together. It must be dealt with more effectively, as it is an ongoing issue that involves enough members to fuel an endless argument. It's not an easy matter, with many layers, variables and personalities.
I know this will be a never ending discussion as weirdos come from every corner of the planet. The best we can do is continue to warn newcomers and younger visitors to this site of the danger. It'll then be up to them whether to heed our advice, or be a rebel and go with what they feel. When someone realizes there is a predator in our midst, report it to mods and let them handle it from there.
 
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LostGirl

LostGirl

My time has come
Dec 3, 2018
185
It's not an end to the discussion if some members continue to experience this on an ongoing basis, regardless of whom the individual member is...unless this site was designed with being a safe haven for those with a predatory mindset, specifically against women.

We can either get it all out on the table, dance around it, or ban it all together. It must be dealt with more effectively, as it is an ongoing issue that involves enough members to fuel an endless argument. It's not an easy matter, with many layers, variables and personalities.

As a young woman, I agree to what you said. But it is not possible to make partnering completely safe no matter what kind of safeguards are in place. There are always going to be pathetic, sick men preying on us. The choice is on us whether we are willing to take such risks. For me and after hearing the horror stories and people asking me for nudes etc. , I will go alone.
 
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Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
721
I am actively cleaning this thread up.

Stop fighting between each other. Click the ignore function. That's why we have it. I'm monitoring this thread. I'll interact in it a bit as well.
 
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DeletedUser4739

Guest
You are right. My apologies but I guess I am emotionally invested in this as I spoke to the target at length and I know how hurt she was by the whole thing.
Yes, this. Some of us are hearing the other side of these stories too often. I've been here since August, and continue to voice similar concerns. I'm not saying it's us versus them...or anything along those lines. I am saying that there appears to be a valid issue at hand, and it is not easy to address, particularly in this setting.
 
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Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
721
If you want to properly address the risks of possibly running into a potentially bad situation, the solution lies in the rules.

Personal Information: Don't post personal information of neither yourself nor providers.

Don't seek out a partner. Don't post or give out personal information of yourself nor providers. Don't. If you follow our rule about this, you literally have nothing to worry about.

If you deviate from this rule, I cannot protect you. I cannot ensure your safety. If you follow this rule. You are totally safe on this forum. There are risks to having a partner, these risks are beyond well addressed in the partners thread. If you decide not to read or disregard that information, you do so at your own peril.
 
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DeletedUser4739

Guest
As a young woman, I agree to what you said. But it is not possible to make partnering completely safe no matter what kind of safeguards are in place. There are always going to be pathetic, sick men preying on us. The choice is on us whether we are willing to take such risks. For me and after hearing the horror stories and people asking me for nudes etc. , I will go alone.
Agreed...any partnership has risks...one as intimate as the partnerships some members seek on this site, are mind mindbogglingly complex to me. When I noticed your profile pic, I felt concerned about how that may impact your experience here. What you've written, sadly, reinforces my concerns. I don't know if that's you, nor am I particularly concerned. It's how some members' perception of you, impacted your experience here in a negative way that concerns me. I loathe that aspect of humanity, and it so frustrating to see it pervasive here as well.

It's good to read you've been able to recognize what's happening, and make whatever adjustments you've needed to make to still make the site work for you. It's just a pain to have that added level of hassle, and I would love to have just a few days of life without being reminded of this twisted side of humanity.
 
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LostGirl

LostGirl

My time has come
Dec 3, 2018
185
If you want to properly address the risks of possibly running into a potentially bad situation, the solution lies in the rules.

Personal Information: Don't post personal information of neither yourself nor providers.

Don't seek out a partner. Don't post or give out personal information of yourself nor providers. Don't. If you follow our rule about this, you literally have nothing to worry about.

If you deviate from this rule, I cannot protect you. I cannot ensure your safety. If you follow this rule. You are totally safe on this forum. There are risks to having a partner, these risks are beyond well addressed in the partners thread. If you decide not to read or disregard that information, you do so at your own peril.

So, you are basically saying that forming pacts is a bad idea ?
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
So, you are basically saying that forming pacts is a bad idea ?
Forming a pact is a 50/50 thing. Either you'll find the perfect partner and you'll succeed at ctb, or you'll find the wrong partner who is up to no good.
 
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LostGirl

LostGirl

My time has come
Dec 3, 2018
185
Forming a pact is a 50/50 thing. Either you'll find the perfect partner and you'll succeed at ctb, or you'll find the wrong partner who is up to no good.

I'd say it's 95/5. There are actually many Japanese sites dedicated to pacts but they never seem to end well. I thought a western site would be different, how I was wrong.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
I'd say it's 95/5. There are actually many Japanese sites dedicated to pacts but they never seem to end well. I thought a western site would be different, how I was wrong.
I thought the Japanese we're very successful at ctb? Or was it chinese? Because it seems that I always hear about one of those two countries always being successful with charcoal in a vehicle.
 
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Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
721
So, you are basically saying that forming pacts is a bad idea ?

I don't know if bad idea is the term I would use.

I am highly self-reliant and I have zero problem with dying alone or CTB with a method that would take time. For me, I have no need for a partner. It doesn't suit me at all.

On the other hand. Some people do have the rational fear of dying alone. They don't want to die by themselves. There is nothing wrong with that, that's perfectly normal. Or maybe it's not due to fear. Maybe it's due to spiritual beliefs? Maybe they want to have sex before they die? Maybe they want to have a meal with someone before? All sorts of different and valid reasons.

The term I would use is High Risk. It's High Risk to do. I wouldn't form a pact with anyone. But then again, I don't need to do it. For me, it doesn't even come up to a question. I don't care much for the intimate company of others, and I don't need or want to be around people. When I decide it's my time, I will do it alone. If I mess up and my death comes slowly, I have no problem being alone.

But that's me, and like I said there are a multitude of valid reasons for wanting a partner.

If you want a partner. You're engaging in a High Risk. Do it at your own peril.
 
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stargazer

Arcanist
Nov 19, 2018
433
Forming a pact is a 50/50 thing. Either you'll find the perfect partner and you'll succeed at ctb, or you'll find the wrong partner who is up to no good.
Or they bail/chicken out/decide they want to try recovery again, by which they're entitled to do all of.
That being said, I'd never discourage partners. Otherwise we shouldn't even have 100 percent private private message ability. Most sites do monitor everything. So this site, is quite special.
 
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LostGirl

LostGirl

My time has come
Dec 3, 2018
185
I thought the Japanese we're very successful at ctb? Or was it chinese? Because it seems that I always hear about one of those two countries always being successful with charcoal in a vehicle.

That'd be the Japanese. But what I was referring to are the Japanese sites for forming pacts and not the act of suicide itself.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
That'd be the Japanese. But what I was referring to are the Japanese sites for forming pacts and not the act of suicide itself.
Oh ok, I got it now. Thanks.
 
Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Or they bail/chicken out/decide they want to try recovery again, by which they're entitled to do all of.
That being said, I'd never discourage partners. Otherwise we shouldn't even have 100 percent private private message ability. Most sites do monitor everything. So this site, is quite special.
Yep, and you can add too far apart to that list as well. I've had 2 potential partners that fell through due to distance. So I'm going to just go it alone.
 
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DeletedUser4739

Guest
Or they bail/chicken out/decide they want to try recovery again, by which they're entitled to do all of.
That being said, I'd never discourage partners. Otherwise we shouldn't even have 100 percent private private message ability. Most sites do monitor everything. So this site, is quite special.
I agree, go with what works for you. However, this site also monitors everything as well, just fyi.
 
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Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
721
I agree, go with what works for you. However, this site also monitors everything as well, just fyi.

We do not and cannot read private messages between users.

The only way I can see messages between users is if they send me screenshots or give me the password to see it. I do not have access to the database, and even if I did, I would not want to dig through it to read what users send to each other. Admins have full time jobs, and don't have time to do that either.

We have to give the correct information out when we are discussing site issues.
 
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Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
721
I could be wrong, I don't think they do unless you hit the report button in the PM.
This site monitors PMs?

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/admins-having-access-to-private-pms.7808/

We do not monitor PMs.

Even if you report the message, I cannot only see the reported message. Not the entire conversation.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/admins-having-access-to-private-pms.7808/

We do not monitor PMs.

Even if you report the message, I cannot only see the reported message. Not the entire conversation.
Oh, I understand how that works now..
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
I'd say it's 95/5. There are actually many Japanese sites dedicated to pacts but they never seem to end well. I thought a western site would be different, how I was wrong.

Why would a western site be any different?
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
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LostGirl

LostGirl

My time has come
Dec 3, 2018
185
Why would a western site be any different?

I think you would need to read into Japanese culture..... If you have no idea about our culture, you would not understand.
 
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LostGirl

LostGirl

My time has come
Dec 3, 2018
185
Okay. But since you are in Japan as you said I'd like to understand.

So you are saying that western sites would be more amenable to actual suicide pacts that work?

No, I said I thought that Western sites are safer for pacts but not so. What else do you want to understand?
 
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