Do others ignore your suffering?

[reapandsow918]

Do others ignore your depression/pain/suffering or even history of suicide attempts? My family/friends act like I have had no history of suicide attempts or depression and that everything is picture perfect in the world.

I don't enjoy meeting this criteria that everything is perfect.

I don't enjoy the unnecessary guilt family/friends puts on you when deciding to CTB. I should have the right to end my own life if I want to.

 

[akrasia]

I'm sorry that your family/ friends don't acknowledge your suffering. They may don't know how to help you or how to act since they don't want to say/do the wrong thing(s) to you, so they just act like everything is normal. Have you ever thought about talking to your family about it? Communication is key to family.
I myself don't like the guilt/ pity that my family gives me when they found out that I wanted to die. I was so determine to die until they found out, I'm recovery right now for their sake. I still want to die and I know that I'll ctb one day.
I hope everything gets better for you.
-hugs-

 

[511115]

I know exactly what you mean. I ended up in icu from my last suicide attempt, and my parents were at my bedside acting like we weren't in the freaking icu. I got sent to psych ward after, and once I was home it was all hugs and smiles and love you! We are all one big happy happy family and we all LOVE each other and it is so very very good here at this home.

Meanwhile I'm depressed af, putting on a big fat act for everyone so they wont be sad, and we resume life like normal the moment I'm back home from my suicide attempt... oh, except for the part where I'm constantly monitored, but I'm monitored with love and smiles.

 

[itsmeagain]

I'm sorry that your family/ friends don't acknowledge your suffering. They may don't know how to help you or how to act since they don't want to say/do the wrong thing(s) to you, so they just act like everything is normal. Have you ever thought about talking to your family about it? Communication is key to family.
I myself don't like the guilt/ pity that my family gives me when they found out that I wanted to die. I was so determine to die until they found out, I'm recovery right now for their sake. I still want to die and I know that I'll ctb one day.
I hope everything gets better for you.
-hugs-

You took the words out of my mouth. <3

I know exactly what you mean. I ended up in icu from my last suicide attempt, and my parents were at my bedside acting like we weren't in the freaking icu. I got sent to psych ward after, and once I was home it was all hugs and smiles and love you! We are all one big happy happy family and we all LOVE each other and it is so very very good here at this home.

Meanwhile I'm depressed af, putting on a big fat act for everyone so they wont be sad, and we resume life like normal the moment I'm back home from my suicide attempt... oh, except for the part where I'm constantly monitored, but I'm monitored with love and smiles.

"But I'm monitored with love and smiles"..

Wow.

That's so powerful. I know that lots of pain wells from people just not knowing how to help, or simply hoping that if they "love" enough that things will be okay. I live that right now.

 

[Ploj]

Yeap, my family. Some of my attempts were done partly because I wanted to 'prove' them I'm sick. They just don't get it.. until now.

 

[SugarbushMtn]

It is all so hard to address. Guilt, fear, responsibility, investment..on and on

 

[S1mpleme]

Others? I'd say nobody cares about my life.

 

[Lostnotfound]

Others? I'd say nobody cares about my life.

I'm in the same situation. Pro-lifers tell me to think of those who will be upset by my death and I cant think of s single person who will care. How shit is that? I totally understand how much it hurts.

 

[S1mpleme]

I'm in the same situation. Pro-lifers tell me to think of those who will be upset by my death and I cant think of s single person who will care. How shit is that? I totally understand how much it hurts.

Yep, like parents you don't have will be upset or imaginary friends.

 

[Lostnotfound]

Yep, like parents you don't have will be upset or imaginary friends.

Or the daughters who told paramedics not to contact them ... totally with you

 

[S1mpleme]

Or the daughters who told paramedics not to contact them ... totally with you

Yes, when kids do not accept their parents it hurts a lot I believe.

 

[Lostnotfound]

Yes, when kids do not accept their parents it hurts a lot I believe.

They are 27 and 19 respectively and this kicked off 18 months ago when the eldest had an episode of her mental health. Prior to that we were all very close which makes it worse. Do you not have anyone in your life or just no one who cares?

 

[S1mpleme]

They are 27 and 19 respectively and this kicked off 18 months ago when the eldest had an episode of her mental health. Prior to that we were all very close which makes it worse. Do you not have anyone in your life or just no one who cares?

I wish I had someone, but no, I literally dont have anyone such as friends or parents, alone whole my life.

 

[Lostnotfound]

I wish I had someone, but no, I literally dont have anyone such as friends or parents, alone whole my life.

I'm sorry. This world is a cruel place.

 

[S1mpleme]

I'm sorry. This world is a cruel place.

It is cruel, but won't be anymore.

 

[Largeletters]

Definitely, especially those I consider my friends. Whenever I bring it up through dark humor they kind of laugh it off. Unless I'm in a crisis, no one brings it up first.

 

[lizinha]

I tried reaching out yesterday cause I had a breakdown and my "friends" who I thought cared because I looked after them and was there for them whenever they needed me are ghosting me. It hurts y'know but whatever.

 

[Lady Lazarus 2020]

I tried reaching out yesterday cause I had a breakdown and my "friends" who I thought cared because I looked after them and was there for them whenever they needed me are ghosting me. It hurts y'know but whatever.

im sorry. it sucks when you are there for others but when you need someone they aren't there for you. i know how that feels.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Maybe not ignore but a lot who just write it off as nothing or imaginary, the kind who tell you to call them if you need them but either don't answer or are too busy.

 

[Lady Lazarus 2020]

Maybe not ignore but a lot who just write it off as nothing or imaginary, the kind who tell you to call them if you need them but either don't answer or are too busy.

Oh yeah. BUSY is the name of the game.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

My parents act like abuse never happened, and they care about maintaining a false family image for others. They kicked me out of the family and cut off contact for not going along with their version that the abuse "wasn't that bad," and then years after, my mother used an old picture of her and me as her Facebook profile photo and spoke for me in photo comments as if we were still in contact.

So hearing that someone's family acts like a ctb attempt didn't happen doesn't surprise me. It doesn't fit with an "official" family narrative that everything is okay and that everyone plays a certain role, and I can imagine that the OP's assigned role probably doesn't allow for depression or suicide attempts. That's some crazy-making, gaslighting BS to me.

I know they aren't evil people, my parents aren't either, but living a false narrative just to be included and accepted (if that's what's happening to OP as well) is negating. I can't be a different person than the one who was irrationally raged at and beaten, and I didn't live a past in which I wasn't. OP can't live a past that didn't happen, where there was no ctb attempt and everything was always happy, OP already lived the past that did happen.

Sorry for OP and all who go through this kind of shit.