Tl;Dr: I want to experience the flash of memories I've always heard abt when you die, but will shooting myself with a shotgun destroy my brain too quickly and thereby I don't see the memories flash?
Quick disclaimer I've never used a forum style website before so forgive me for any formatting or tagging issues.
Anyways, I have kind of a specific question that I can't rlly find an answer to. I'll give some backstory just in case anyone is curious as to how I got to this question.
I met the most amazing most perfect girl you could ever imagine. I know everyone says that but I truly believe(d) that nothing will ever make me feel as happy as she did. Not drugs, or s/h, or anything else. I was with her for a long time and even best friends before we dated.
But eventually towards the end of our relationship I did some things that made me go to the hospital and get diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I (due to my own constant mistakes) lost my car, my cat, my house, my job, and my gf all in a 9 month span. It's not a question of if I want to make the decision I'm going to make; it's more I want to know the consequences. I want to spend more time with my girlfriend and the only way I can do that is through memories. If I shoot myself with a shotgun will I get to see a flashback of all the happy memories I made with her?
And a second more moral question if I pinky promised her I'd never hurt myself do you think it's morally wrong to ignore that pinky promise since she doesn't want me now anyway? I know pinky promises sound childish, but they were a big part of our relationship and I always honored them previously. Super nervous about posting this and if anyone did read I appreciate it and again sorry if made the post incorrectly.
Quick disclaimer I've never used a forum style website before so forgive me for any formatting or tagging issues.
Anyways, I have kind of a specific question that I can't rlly find an answer to. I'll give some backstory just in case anyone is curious as to how I got to this question.
I met the most amazing most perfect girl you could ever imagine. I know everyone says that but I truly believe(d) that nothing will ever make me feel as happy as she did. Not drugs, or s/h, or anything else. I was with her for a long time and even best friends before we dated.
But eventually towards the end of our relationship I did some things that made me go to the hospital and get diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I (due to my own constant mistakes) lost my car, my cat, my house, my job, and my gf all in a 9 month span. It's not a question of if I want to make the decision I'm going to make; it's more I want to know the consequences. I want to spend more time with my girlfriend and the only way I can do that is through memories. If I shoot myself with a shotgun will I get to see a flashback of all the happy memories I made with her?
And a second more moral question if I pinky promised her I'd never hurt myself do you think it's morally wrong to ignore that pinky promise since she doesn't want me now anyway? I know pinky promises sound childish, but they were a big part of our relationship and I always honored them previously. Super nervous about posting this and if anyone did read I appreciate it and again sorry if made the post incorrectly.
