Venting Do I confess now or after taking SN?

[LondonVillie]

Basically one of my best friends comes from a quite extreme background and dealt with these thoughts a lot themselves and I'm pretty sure they overdosed twice, but they don't like to tal;k about it anymore so I'm not being pushy on it. I'm sure they'll understand as we talked about suicide a lot in the past, but the past couple years their life got straightened out, meanwhile I got to the point of trembling with a stomach ache from just sitting in my room.

I want to ask them to deliever a certain video to my mom a couple days after I ctb, but I'm not sure if they'd take it better if I just sent a message detailing everything in my last moments or just have an honest conversation about everything this week.

My date is summer 2026 at the absolute latest and this might be the last time we see each other. We live far away now and they're definitely the only person I could possibly confess to and ask about this since the rest of my friends are more "normie" (not in an offensive way).

I don't really know what to do. Not much time to decide as we meet up this week, but I'm leaning toward just sending the message.

I'm just really tired as I came up from some really deep hole and I felt real mental growth this past year, but the fact is always the same that I'm only surviving so that my mom doesn't get sad.

Sorry for the vent, I know it's in general advised not to confess ever but my cicrumstances are really specific. I really trust this person with this and feel like that might really be the better choice here.

 

[U. A.]

Consider the fact that any actions taken while still alive have the ability to influence you, for better or worse.

 

[Worndown]

Can you have them hold a wrapped package for you?
Once you drink SN, send an email asking them to unwrap and mail or deliver the contents.
Write it before and send once you start feeling funky.