Did you ask your parents why they chose to have you? If so, what did they tell you?

[fleshgarden]

it was an accident.. my mom forgot to take her birth control pills. she was underprepared and my father was very absent but I lived with her and my grandma for the first years of life. that's why I'm not COMPLETELY fucked up.. they spoiled me. I had a secure attachment as a child. the stepfather to come after giving up on the birth father just.. he just put up with me being there, and apparently my mom too. he clearly didn't want either of us so I don't know why he wanted to come into our lives. I wonder how different my life would be if my birth dad stayed. he was negligent, but not exactly abusive.

 

[Sober4MostDays]

They had me on accident I bet they were drunk lmfao

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My parents got married with the express purpose of wanting a family and I was born completely planned a year after their wedding. I'm even a boy which both of them wanted their first child to be.

Even with all that my life still sucks. It seems the only way I could prevent myself from being born if I had time travel would be to straight up kill them.

 

[Forever Sleep]

My Mum died when I was 3 but I know she desperately wanted children. Not sure about my Dad really but it wouldn't surprise me if in part- even if he didn't have a strong desire for them, that he would have gone along with it to please her. He's the dutiful husband type.

I guess I'd like to have certain conversations but, I think they'd be too hurtful towards my Dad really. They found out my Mum had cancer at the same time she was found to be pregnant. I guess I can understand, when you find out you have another life inside you- that you naturally want to protect it- so, she delayed having chemo. I just wonder though if she or they even considered the possibility that she would die young.

Kind of funny really. The first thing my Mum asked when I'd been born was whether I had ginger hair. She got teased for her red hair. Really, that may have ended up being the least of my problems!

 

[Dusk till dawn]

They brought me to life because they needed someone to take care of them once they become old and unable to support themselves, and also because religion says so

Overall their reasons were :
Societal and religious pressure (they never admitted it but it's so clear, all my family members tried to convince me that marriage and procreation is necessary under religious excuses and saying i'll need someone to take care of me once i become old)


They wanted a slave that can take care of them once they become old, preferably a female because females are considered very obedient and easy to control unlike males (yeah i turned out to be very rebellious since i was a child, i cannot be controlled and i will take it to the extreme whenever i feel like my freedom and autonomy is being violated even slightly, my parents learned the hard way that i'm not becoming their slave and they'll get the middle finger whenever they try to convince me so)

Females in my country have way higher expectations than males and they're treated very poorly, females are also considered as sub-human slaves who's their only uses is procreating and being a house cook and someone who raises children because of religious norms

I turned out to be a male, my mother admits to this day that she wishes she got a female instead of a male, and sometimes considers adopting a female

 

[sanction]

Believe it or not, when I asked my mother this question many years ago, surprisingly the answer was because in her culture from the older days, the mentality was to always have kids, just so there will be someone to take care of your after-life things, such as making sure you have proper burial, or other funeral related matters

I know that sounds like some of most stupid and worst reasons and answer. Although we didn't discuss this topic further, I do believe there were still other common reasons involved, such as maybe as a woman, its also natural to feel like having babies, and also as part of her marriage, and things like that

But still, its very shocking to let that type of *reason* to lead the way of her decision. She was very naive and got brainwashed by her upbringing and culture. In the end, she's not a complete bad person or mother. I would say average. She still tried her best, but just when the whole family is broke, it is already self-explanatory, things will still mostly remain stressful and not pleasant, lol. Just stuck in everyday survival mode

 

[RURIRA]

Never asked. But I guess they can't answer this question themselves. Just want a kid like every married couple in this society did. They divorced several years after I was borned

 

[timetosleep]

They said that it's just something people do. They don't have any good reason besides following the social norm. I wish they didn't have me.

 

[ImTelling]

They wanted to have me for my older brother, they way you buy two guinea pigs or two rabbits because they get lonely on their own.

 

[AngelicGirl]

I was an oops. My mom was on birth control and was planning to leave my father when she found out she was pregnant (abortion wasn't legal then). Took her another 3yrs before she finally left after that.

My mom has been a great mom. So won't ctb until she's left the earth. My dad, I don't care. He wasn't/still isn't all that great.

Your story is kinda similar to mine, except my dad left my mom 3 months after i was born. The strange part was that my dad was buying me baby clothes and taking pictures of me when i was young, but then he just up and left my mom for no apparent reason. I've never met him and tbh, i dont really have any desire to. The man is probably a douchebag, and i got my mother who im close to and have a great bond with. So im fine.