Discussion Did money worries cause alot of your problems?

[MeltingHeart]

I feel that money, issues around it and lack of it has been a significant factor throughout my whole life (and I might add that I can live incredibly modestly, have never lived beyond my meagre means and never wanted too much). From an early age money was a horrible factor as caused alot of arguements between my divorced parents, my mother (who i think may have had bi-polar) never worked-but always over spent-just on herself I might add). Later when I was independent (from a fairly young age) I have had constant money worries that have affected every area of my life-my education, physical and mental health issues like constant stress and anxiety , affected friendships & certainly relationships, I have worked almost constantly for 20 yrs in low pay, unfufilling work-never seemingly able to progress despite my best efforts-and ive always been a grafter and tried to be as ambitious as I could within my situation-but it has always been so hard to transcend and rise above my circumstances. Even if early on id had a tiny bit of support I feel i would have been in a better position to then have suceeded a little more on my own terms when i was older. But the difficulties continued for too many years, impacting on every aspect of my life, now though- I could become a millionaire tomo and it would make noo difference- i would still want to ctb-yet if id had a little more help at the right time-just to imbue my younger years with a sense of security- I could have achived so much more- I could have been ok. Anyone elses life been plagued by financial woes-that have sadly affected alot of aspects of their life?

 

[justanotherday]

Yes, financial worries have me very upset as well. It is a major part of the reason I want to ctb.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Yes, financial worries have me very upset as well. It is a major part of the reason I want to ctb.

its so sad isnt it-to think that something like money (which should have so little meaning in the grand scheme of things) can cause that-yet some people in the world (celebs or something) seem to have had too much and that has caused them problems in a different way. for me such a small amount at the right time would have had a profound difference in my life- its real sad isnt it? sorry youve had same problems-sure is a messed up, topsy turvey world

 

[dmsdnd18]

Yes! Money has always been my number one stressor. My school loans always give me great anxiety. And i havent been able to work so now that my savings are depleted i just feel like now is the time

 

[cowbain]

I think so but even if I had money I'd probably have to deal with other reasons that'd make me want to ctb. At least when you have nothing then you'll know if people genuinely care about you or not.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Yes! Money has always been my number one stressor. My school loans always give me great anxiety. And i havent been able to work so now that my savings are depleted i just feel like now is the time

just read in the news today a young father of three ctb after waiting for his credits (that top up low wages) but had to get loan inbetween and ended up in too much debt to catch up due to the interest. Money and the distribution of wealth is seriously f**cked up

I think so but even if I had money I'd probably have to deal with other reasons that'd make me want to ctb. At least when you have nothing then you'll know if people genuinely care about you or not.

but unless you were giving loads of money away-how does being reasonably financially stable or not have a bearing on the proof that people genuinly care? not being obtuse- just dont understand....

 

[Kodama]

Yes, financial worries have me very upset as well. It is a major part of the reason I want to ctb.

incoming financials issues make me sick and depressed... only that... question of (great) fear to depend on others and not be in capacity of helping and supporting my children... And it's a short term situation (unless winning at lottery tonight!) :/

 

[Rachel74]

Yes and no. I was bipolar before I had money. Money as made me make some terrible mistakes while on a manic episode, but also money as got me good medical care when I needed it.

 

[sanction]

Its one of the most common factors of those wanting to CTB. Mainly 3 areas in life that trigger it. Health related, finance related or relationship related. If none of these areas are in much distress, then CTB is pretty much out of the picture. Once these are out of balance, you're in trouble

 

[MeltingHeart]

Yes and no. I was bipolar before I had money. Money as made me make some terrible mistakes while on a manic episode, but also money as got me good medical care when I needed it.

Yeah I've heard that can happen with bi-polar & also witnessed it from someone I know that I think prob had Bp .

 

[welshie84]

I have pretty bad anxiety, money is definitely a trigger

 

[Rachel74]

Yeah I've heard that can happen with bi-polar & also witnessed it from someone I know that I think prob had Bp .

I look back at the money I wasted on crap! I was a fool!

 

[sleepy dog]

I know that having more money would make me less suicidal. I have no doubt. I would have the thoughts but just tell myself "not yet". Worrying about the things that not enough money causes is what gives me the most reasons to think suicide is logical. I could own my own house in a quiet area with some trees on the lot I could walk under. Grow my own food. Have some animals. Life could be interesting again with all that. I just don't have enough to do that because if I spent my money on that I wouldn't have the needed money for a car, repairing the house, and other expenses that come up. I live in a building that vibrates right now. It drives me crazy sometimes. The manager doesn't care. I am having more urgent suicidal thoughts just because of that. Money takes care of so many problems. I used to relate effort to getting money. that is simply not true. Some lazy, undeserving people have plenty of money.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I look back at the money I wasted on crap! I was a fool!

You weren't a fool. It was part of yr disorder - I imagine u were not thinking clearly at the time u were spending- does it offer some kind of release? Or is it a distraction - or in that moment u are not thinking of the consequences? - correct me if I'm wrong of course!

 

[BlessedOffal]

If I didn't have student loans that I took on without thinking of the consequences, I think I would want to stay alive. I could get a simple job in a small town and volunteer in my spare time, which is enough to create value in my life. But unless I get more education towards the possibility of a higher paying job, I won't be able to pay my loans back. My depression was livable until it started seriously messing with my cognitive abilities

 

[MeltingHeart]

I know that having more money would make me less suicidal. I have no doubt. I would have the thoughts but just tell myself "not yet". Worrying about the things that not enough money causes is what gives me the most reasons to think suicide is logical. I could own my own house in a quiet area with some trees on the lot I could walk under. Grow my own food. Have some animals. Life could be interesting again with all that. I just don't have enough to do that because if I spent my money on that I wouldn't have the needed money for a car, repairing the house, and other expenses that come up. I live in a building that vibrates right now. It drives me crazy sometimes. The manager doesn't care. I am having more urgent suicidal thoughts just because of that. Money takes care of so many problems. I used to relate effort to getting money. that is simply not true. Some lazy, undeserving people have plenty of money.

I just felt I needed a little more in my younger years purely to give me a sense of safety and security - from which point I could have been able to focus on my studies more, had a safe roof over my head- avoiding some of the horrible situations ive been in. Allowing me to feel at ease and stronger and giving me the time and scope to have been able to thrive

If I didn't have student loans that I took on without thinking of the consequences, I think I would want to stay alive. I could get a simple job in a small town and volunteer in my spare time, which is enough to create value in my life. But unless I get more education towards the possibility of a higher paying job, I won't be able to pay my loans back. My depression was livable until it started seriously messing with my cognitive abilities

are you in the uk? you dont need to pay them off until you are on a certain wage bracket here- weird double edge sword-as I tried to get my education to get a higher paid job ( which didnt work) but at the same time- i didnt need to start paying it back due to being on such a low age. Still sucks though knowing you have a huge loan-and that it didnt even necessarily get you to where you wanted to be-with even slightly better earning potential.

 

[Heart of Ice]

Ironically enough, money is the reason I'll be hanging around for at least into 2020. You see, the first day of 2020 I can get more student loans from the bank. Student loans are state-backed. So if a student, let's say hypothetically, decided to kill themselves, this is free money for their family to keep. The bank gets their money back from the state, everyone is happy.

EDIT: I just realized this post could be read wrong. People are talking about money problems and I'm talking about getting free money. No disrespect intended.

 

[Rachel74]

You weren't a fool. It was part of yr disorder - I imagine u were not thinking clearly at the time u were spending- does it offer some kind of release? Or is it a distraction - or in that moment u are not thinking of the consequences? - correct me if I'm wrong of course!

That's exactly the case. If I'd known what I know now regarding the banks and restrictions you can put on your account to stop this happening. I remember in the space of 1 week taking credit cards out to £20,000. Apparently now you can tell the companies who gave you credit in a mania episode that you were ill and they can't make you pay. Someone told me that on the bipolar uk page so not 100.% sure of this.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Ironically enough, money is the reason I'll be hanging around for at least into 2020. You see, the first day of 2020 I can get more student loans from the bank. Student loans are state-backed. So if a student, let's say hypothetically, decided to kill themselves, this is free money for their family to keep. The bank gets their money back from the state, everyone is happy.

EDIT: I just realized this post could be read wrong. People are talking about money problems and I'm talking about getting free money. No disrespect intended.

so you want the money to go to yr family basically?

That's exactly the case. If I'd known what I know now regarding the banks and restrictions you can put on your account to stop this happening. I remember in the space of 1 week taking credit cards out to £20,000. Apparently now you can tell the companies who gave you credit in a mania episode that you were ill and they can't make you pay. Someone told me that on the bipolar uk page so not 100.% sure of this.

wow- i hope that true- you should try and chase it up. Credits cards are made available far to easily-its dangerous

 

[Heart of Ice]

so you want the money to go to yr family basically?

Yup, that's the plan! They don't need the money necessarily, they're middle class, but I'd wait around for a couple of months so my parents have some money to pay funeral expenses and the like.

 

[BlessedOffal]

are you in the uk? you dont need to pay them off until you are on a certain wage bracket here- weird double edge sword-as I tried to get my education to get a higher paid job ( which didnt work) but at the same time- i didnt need to start paying it back due to being on such a low age. Still sucks though knowing you have a huge loan-and that it didnt even necessarily get you to where you wanted to be-with even slightly better earning potential.

Not UK. That actually sounds like a fair enough deal to me. I messed up big time with college. I was an in denial depressed, brain fogged moron tbh. It's truly all my own doing.

How big a role does unfulfilling work and not having been able to progress play in you wanting to ctb? I know it's one mention along many, but I'm trying to apply it to my own life/future. Perhaps for some meager chance of finding motivation.. Hope it's okay that I ask. It's interesting to hear your story

 

[Avery Jordan]

Yes financial worries have been a strain but not enough to ctb yet.

 

[mynameispaige]

Yes. I maxed out all my credit cards last year during a bad manic episode. It's been the main cause of my stress since.

 

[Rachel74]

Yes. I maxed out all my credit cards last year during a bad manic episode. It's been the main cause of my stress since.

If you are in the uk then talk to them, you were ill when you did it and no of sound mind etc.

 

[mynameispaige]

If you are in the uk then talk to them, you were ill when you did it and no of sound mind etc.

I'm in the US. I'm not sure if it's the same here but I'll look into it.