Venting Despite everything my life would still have ended in suicide

[ultrasharpy123456]

Even if I did everything correctly in life, I would have ended my life by shooting myself. I realize that now. I would have realized the truth of this planet and would have just shot myself. And that's kinda sad. It's like I have all these dreams that can't come true...so honestly what was the point?

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I've come to the same conclusion. Even if things had been different and certain events hadn't happened, I think I still would've ended up here, even if a little later in life. I've never had an innate attachment to life, and it's never been obvious to me what's so bad about death, so presumably at some point I would have figured out that, as Camus famously said, "life is not worth the trouble."

 

[Worndown]

Life is filled with variables and inconsistencies. Unless a specific illness strikes, we randomly get where we are now. A plan might help, but not a guarantee.
I am sorry you ended in a bad place.

 

[sugarb]

Even if I did everything correctly in life, I would have ended my life by shooting myself. I realize that now. I would have realized the truth of this planet and would have just shot myself. And that's kinda sad. It's like I have all these dreams that can't come true...so honestly what was the point?

Same. If I was worse off I'd CTB with a bit less reservation, and if I was worse off I'd CTB with a bit less negative emotion

 

[DeathSleep]

I can relate. I've felt like I'd die by suicide for a very long time now. I don't think different things happening in my life would've changed that feeling except maybe change when it would happen.