Venting Despair

[annxietty]

Im hurting everyone around me, nobody smiles around me, my parents dont know what to do, Ive been asking for help so much, using different words, different methods... I have a post-it with the password to my phone where I wrote many of my thoughts, thinking that maybe one day I will die/kill myself and wanted to leave something behind... My anxietty is all over the place, cant eat, all I do is cry, happiness is not even an option and now not even peace, I want to live thats why Im like this, before when I wanted to die it was easier, I have something coming up in June something that will change my life, how can I build anything if I cant even walk my dogs without a panic attack... everything is so painful when you cant even trust yourself.

Im tired, this is my limit, anxiety has completely taken over my life, people just dont understand it, is so hard seeing everyone getting disappointed at you because you cant do what everyone else can, you are the reason everyone is sad, I have my parents telling me often that they only want me to be happy, its the only thing they say they fight for but Ive asked for help so many times so many times, asking for therapy for example... When I tried to kill myself I didnt once ask for help, because I wanted to die, now I want to live, I need help...

Thanks to anyone that reads this, Im not very active on this site because lately Ive just been completely broken... but this means a lot to me, that a place like this exists... thank you, Im scared but I will try to live, I just fear living a life full of despair and sadness...
I feel a little better after writing this.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I'm so sorry to hear that
When I was young I was crippled with anxiety, too, because I had been treated like dirt. Fortunately now my anxiety is relieved significantly but I know not everyone can get better...
It's demoralizing that you can't get therapy even if you are willing to improve your situation.
Please feel free to post your feelings and/or problems here. My PM is also open.
Sorry for a generic message but I wish you the best

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound really tiring what you have to endure, life really just is so unnecessarily cruel as there certainly does seem to be no real relief from suffering in this world. But anyway I wish you the best, the unfortunate reality is that other people can never really understand what we go through, it's insensitive how people can be so dismissive of other people's feelings.

 

[annxietty]

I'm so sorry to hear that
When I was young I was crippled with anxiety, too, because I had been treated like dirt. Fortunately now my anxiety is relieved significantly but I know not everyone can get better...
It's demoralizing that you can't get therapy even if you are willing to improve your situation.
Please feel free to post your feelings and/or problems here. My PM is also open.
Sorry for a generic message but I wish you the best

Thank you so much for your kind words, Im glad you got better I will do my best too, with what I have... Sometimes it seems impossible tho. Your message warms my heart, thank you again.

That does sound really tiring what you have to endure, life really just is so unnecessarily cruel as there certainly does seem to be no real relief from suffering in this world. But anyway I wish you the best, the unfortunate reality is that other people can never really understand what we go through, it's insensitive how people can be so dismissive of other people's feelings.

It is really tiring yes, Im sleepy all the time because my head just doesnt stop and now Ive come to feel physical pain all day too... You are right, life is just so hard, we are all too cruel to each other and made life even harder. Thank you very much I wish you well too!

 

[Zegers]

how can I build anything if I cant even walk my dogs without a panic attack... everything is so painful when you cant even trust yourself.

Anxiety also takes over my life from the moment i wake up (GAD) some people don't understand that sometimes it's not possible to just want to do something, there has to be a way.

 

[deadwinter]

Im hurting everyone around me, nobody smiles around me, my parents dont know what to do, Ive been asking for help so much, using different words, different methods... I have a post-it with the password to my phone where I wrote many of my thoughts, thinking that maybe one day I will die/kill myself and wanted to leave something behind... My anxietty is all over the place, cant eat, all I do is cry, happiness is not even an option and now not even peace, I want to live thats why Im like this, before when I wanted to die it was easier, I have something coming up in June something that will change my life, how can I build anything if I cant even walk my dogs without a panic attack... everything is so painful when you cant even trust yourself.

Im tired, this is my limit, anxiety has completely taken over my life, people just dont understand it, is so hard seeing everyone getting disappointed at you because you cant do what everyone else can, you are the reason everyone is sad, I have my parents telling me often that they only want me to be happy, its the only thing they say they fight for but Ive asked for help so many times so many times, asking for therapy for example... When I tried to kill myself I didnt once ask for help, because I wanted to die, now I want to live, I need help...

Thanks to anyone that reads this, Im not very active on this site because lately Ive just been completely broken... but this means a lot to me, that a place like this exists... thank you, Im scared but I will try to live, I just fear living a life full of despair and sadness...
I feel a little better after writing this.

hello,

im sorry in advance because im awful w words.. i want to let u know that just reading this meant so much to me bc i totally feel the same way. im not in a good place either and i deeply relate to everything u wrote.

i like to remind myself that even though i feel like this now, feelings come and go, changing so quickly and seemingly out of nowhere. u wont feel this way forever, i promise

i want you to know that im here for u for anything n u can talk 2 me always ! i love you and i believe in u no matter what

one last thing.. this sometimes helps me a little bit.. once in a while i feel okay, usually only for a few seconds/minutes before it disappears. i try to hold on to that feeling for as long as i can, even just the memory can feel comforting..

 

[annxietty]

Anxiety also takes over my life from the moment i wake up (GAD) some people don't understand that sometimes it's not possible to just want to do something, there has to be a way.

This! I want to change my life, I want to take this opportunity, but I just CANT, when I show my anxiety and my fear my parents are like "oh you dont want to do it" I want I just cant... Hope you get well soon, hope you find your way too

hello,

im sorry in advance because im awful w words.. i want to let u know that just reading this meant so much to me bc i totally feel the same way. im not in a good place either and i deeply relate to everything u wrote.

i like to remind myself that even though i feel like this now, feelings come and go, changing so quickly and seemingly out of nowhere. u wont feel this way forever, i promise

i want you to know that im here for u for anything n u can talk 2 me always ! i love you and i believe in u no matter what

one last thing.. this sometimes helps me a little bit.. once in a while i feel okay, usually only for a few seconds/minutes before it disappears. i try to hold on to that feeling for as long as i can, even just the memory can feel comforting..

Oh dont need to apologize It makes me happy my words reached you. Thank you so much for your kind words! I want to think that someday I will leave this anxiety behind and enjoy life, that thought keeps me going... Once again thank you for your message, means a lot, I will try to keep my mind positive in the darkest moments, I hope you feel better soon too!