Depressed after deciding to ctb

[Val12345]

I have decided to ctb after 1 day but I am feeling do sad and it feels so gloomy
I am not sure if this is because of ctb Or is this SI? Does anyone else feels like this before ctb

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

To be honest, if you are not happy to be ready to ctb, then maybe you are not ready to do so yet.
I'm not being judgemental.
It's just that most people ( including myself ) feel happy knowing that ctb will soon release us from our suffering.
But yes, it could also be survival instinct playing with your mind.

 

[Riality]

Yeah that happens take some sedatives

 

[Val12345]

To be honest, if you are not happy to be ready to ctb, then maybe you are not ready to do so yet.
I'm not being judgemental.
It's just that most people ( including myself ) feel happy knowing that ctb will soon release us from our suffering.
But yes, it could also be survival instinct playing with your mind.

I understand your point
It would really be peaceful if it's a void after death
But I am scared if I may reincarnate or other possibilities including religious ones

 

[puella]

Just give yourself time and allow yourself to process these feelings. Be kind to yourself while you do it, and take a break if you feel overwhelmed. There's no rush or necessity to do anything. I'm sure you're in a lot of pain, and it sounds like there are so many thoughts and emotions consuming you right now. Good luck.

 

[poppysgarden]

i think it is important to explore those feelings. are you scared? are you sad to leave those you care about behind? there is no harm in digging through those feelings.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I understand your point
It would really be peaceful if it's a void after death
But I am scared if I may reincarnate or other possibilities including religious ones

Do you remember being a soul before you were born ?
Nobody remembers this.
Also, if there is such thing as an eternal soul, then surely babies would be super-intelligent because they would be all knowing.
A babies self, or ego, is only formed through the development of the brain and learning processes.
Consciousness is purely a biochemical reaction in the brain and the concept of a soul comes mainly from religion.
Even people who have supposedly had near-death experiences have never truly had one because they have not been officially brain dead because they have been resuscitated.
I can understand being scared, it's only natural.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

Just because you decided to CTB doesn't mean you can't change your mind. And then change it again. If you decide not to CTB (for now), does that make you feel better? If so, maybe CTB isn't the answer for you right now. Put the idea on the back burner and see if that relieves some of the sadness and pressure. I'm sorry you're struggling.

 

[SVEN]

I think it's natural to feel concerned and a bit apprehensive about taking an immense, irrevocable step into the unknown. Thing is, you are still in control and can stop the process at any time right up until the final step.
Think things through and know that you can always pop back here even if only to express your concerns.