delaying my plans for a month

[a_dead_mess]

I think I suffer from Anhedonia. nothing brings me pleasure and I lost my purpose in life. I thought that losing the former wouldn't mean losing the latter but as of right now, I lost both. I'll never be able to believe in religion the way I used to and I have to live with it. the last few days have been really painful but there is still a "nothingness" mental state most of the time.

if I'm not able to cope with it for the next month and at least partially get back on track, then 02/09/2022 will be my ctb date (that depends on when SN will arrive, I figured that if I want to give life one last try then I shouldn't have SN next to me because I'll feel more reluctant to make an impulse attempt when I feel down). if I don't have my SN by then, it will be the next Friday which is 09/09/2022. I'd like to thank everyone who helped me find sources, made me feel better when I was down, and made posts that I related to (shout out to @Un-).

I wish you all a peaceful stay and a more peaceful leave!

 

[bed]

I hope self-reflecting during the month you gave yourself to delay your plans, leads to finding purpose and meaning in life again. If you see slight improvements perhaps you'll give yourself more time to possibly see more benefits. One way or another I wish you peace <3

 

[Un-]

Oh shit! Barely anyone notices me, so this is new.

I hope you don't feel disheartened that you couldn't muster the will to carry on. I think that the fact that you tried (and I mean you really tried) speaks volumes. You're damn smart, and you legitimately helped me feel less alone in how I think, too.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope you find peace, friend!

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find relief from your suffering in whatever you decide. Best wishes.