mamiko9399
Member
- Jun 14, 2019
- 20
Well...Yeah.I finally was convinced and sure whats I want to do.
Yes-Whats I WANT.
Whole life I was object-not person,human.Just object to pleased everyone,to be punish by wrong breath,to be just trush.
I trying seek help,I really do!
When I was younger-no one listen me when I trying say something,my mother always convinced ppl that I lie,its been my nightmare which I mix with reality etc etc.
Later I just stay with situation,accepted how it is
At age of 23. I asked again... this time ppl listen me or looked like,they starting doing something but... Year later all turns back and said Im a liar
I come back to the same situation....
Ive asked again year later and again-I was turn back "lack of evidence"
I'm stuck in it.I not have way to move take other steps.I was betreyed by ppl cant have any bit of trust.I love person who are my enemy and cant hurt them by just leave.I cant....Even if I was sleave of him,object,plesure -no matter.At thr end of the day-he accept me,he loves me,he is nice to me.
Only way to break this circle,to correct sentence where is spelling without broke it-its just remove me.
I dont want just be alive.I dont and its not impulsive decision.I trying,I looking other options,I calculate everything and no-or I will stuck with this or I will die,be free,no moree problems for me and others.
Ok.So after making research,calculation,checks-I choose
I will starve myself.
Stopped fluids.
Why?
Well..
1.I'm anorexic with "failure to tretment" and capacity so no one will force me to ng feeds etc
Also I'm with enough high weight but blood imbalance to know that I will not need 22+ days like some ppl
2.I was enough"stubborn" had bit of taste how its was as one time I was almost succesfull but without that tine intention to die..
3.I know-its took time.But its why I want it.Its could be pretty ivisible if you kniw how hide it and to be carefull.I want feel it,its not contain blood,vommit,body fluids,afterwords body are not in mess state.
Yes-Whats I WANT.
Whole life I was object-not person,human.Just object to pleased everyone,to be punish by wrong breath,to be just trush.
I trying seek help,I really do!
When I was younger-no one listen me when I trying say something,my mother always convinced ppl that I lie,its been my nightmare which I mix with reality etc etc.
Later I just stay with situation,accepted how it is
At age of 23. I asked again... this time ppl listen me or looked like,they starting doing something but... Year later all turns back and said Im a liar
I come back to the same situation....
Ive asked again year later and again-I was turn back "lack of evidence"
I'm stuck in it.I not have way to move take other steps.I was betreyed by ppl cant have any bit of trust.I love person who are my enemy and cant hurt them by just leave.I cant....Even if I was sleave of him,object,plesure -no matter.At thr end of the day-he accept me,he loves me,he is nice to me.
Only way to break this circle,to correct sentence where is spelling without broke it-its just remove me.
I dont want just be alive.I dont and its not impulsive decision.I trying,I looking other options,I calculate everything and no-or I will stuck with this or I will die,be free,no moree problems for me and others.
Ok.So after making research,calculation,checks-I choose
I will starve myself.
Stopped fluids.
Why?
Well..
1.I'm anorexic with "failure to tretment" and capacity so no one will force me to ng feeds etc
Also I'm with enough high weight but blood imbalance to know that I will not need 22+ days like some ppl
2.I was enough"stubborn" had bit of taste how its was as one time I was almost succesfull but without that tine intention to die..
3.I know-its took time.But its why I want it.Its could be pretty ivisible if you kniw how hide it and to be carefull.I want feel it,its not contain blood,vommit,body fluids,afterwords body are not in mess state.
