K
Kalista
Failed hard to pull the trigger - Now using SN
- Feb 5, 2023
- 324
i always have my phone off. no point in keeping it on when there's no one to call or anyone that cares enough to check up on me. there are times when i need to check something in it. been seeing calls from an 833 number. checked it and it's harris & harris, debt collector agency.
i owe a hospital money for when i was involuntarily checked in. safe to assume it's related. been ignoring it because i never had any intention of paying them. i guess this is it. more rules and laws of society catching up for something i never fucking wanted in the first place.. i failed so many attempts resulting in me still being here. i never planned to live this long and i fucking hate it.
i see three options. kill myself sooner so i will never have to worry about anymore debt, pay it with what very little money i have or try to basically beg online for people to support me financially to pay off the debt. there's also another debt waiting to be paid next year and if i don't, irs will take everything i own. i have no intention of working anymore as i'm done being miserable working a meaningless job like everyone else, but the longer i live, the more problems that come up. i have no energy to do any of this bullshit..
i fucking hate this life..i fucking hate the people who called the cops and put me in that god damn hospital...people who are too stupid and refuse to understand that when i say i can't handle this life anymore, it means i can't handle it anymore..i fucking lost everything that meant a lot to me after that day...
fuck all of the people who call the cops on someone needing to kill themselves and inflicting more problems unto them.. gambling with our lives just so you can make yourselves feel better..
can't take any of this..the crying never stopped..i fucking hate everything and everyone who hurt me..
i owe a hospital money for when i was involuntarily checked in. safe to assume it's related. been ignoring it because i never had any intention of paying them. i guess this is it. more rules and laws of society catching up for something i never fucking wanted in the first place.. i failed so many attempts resulting in me still being here. i never planned to live this long and i fucking hate it.
i see three options. kill myself sooner so i will never have to worry about anymore debt, pay it with what very little money i have or try to basically beg online for people to support me financially to pay off the debt. there's also another debt waiting to be paid next year and if i don't, irs will take everything i own. i have no intention of working anymore as i'm done being miserable working a meaningless job like everyone else, but the longer i live, the more problems that come up. i have no energy to do any of this bullshit..
i fucking hate this life..i fucking hate the people who called the cops and put me in that god damn hospital...people who are too stupid and refuse to understand that when i say i can't handle this life anymore, it means i can't handle it anymore..i fucking lost everything that meant a lot to me after that day...
fuck all of the people who call the cops on someone needing to kill themselves and inflicting more problems unto them.. gambling with our lives just so you can make yourselves feel better..
can't take any of this..the crying never stopped..i fucking hate everything and everyone who hurt me..