Death by bulimia.

[Cockney_Rebel]

I'm currently thinking of my next method.

I've been overeating on this psych ward (boredom) and don't want to reverse all of the weight loss I've achieved by stopping all of the medication.

I just tried putting my fingers down my throat to bring up a load of food. Started retching, but nothing came up.

Does anyone have any methods/tricks to successfully bring what you've eaten back up?

Thanks in advance, and good luck on your own journey.

 

[Octavina]

I developed bulimia in 2019, I used a toothbrush to go as deep down my throat until you hit the gag reflex. Two years later I have physical health conditions such as hypokaelemia which can cause cardiac arrest or arrhythmia but it isn't a viable method in my opinion,m. Since this year I've been consistently coming in an out of hospital for also low blood pressure it's a slow and crappy method. Unless you managed to get your potassium level critically low like I have twice under 2.5, it's not worth it. And the symptoms include muscle spasms and cramping. Chest tightness, digestion and chronic constipation, severe tooth erosion that caused some of my teeth to rot and have to get them sergically removed. And if you are hospitalised with low electrolytes you will be put on painful infusions for days.
just don't do this please, and just starving yourself won't be any better. I'm no where in recovery since I'm long gone for help but I am coming across as fear mongering you because I don't want you to experience what I currently am. It sucks, it's long and not worth it, it's a slow death. I hope you can get home from the psych ward, I was in one for a month, please take care and don't harm yourself more or they could keep you in a long section

 

[CleosAsp]

Don't use a toothbrush to induce vomiting. People have dropped them down their throats while reaching. Then it has to be removed by medical personnel. It's an emergency and potentially fatal...and it'd not be a peaceful way to go. I'm so used to doing it that I can vomit on command, sort of like making yourself burp. But please, please, please don't put any instrument down your throat.

 

[Octavina]

Don't use a toothbrush to induce vomiting. People have dropped them down their throats while reaching. Then it has to be removed by medical personnel. It's an emergency and potentially fatal...and it'd not be a peaceful way to go. I'm so used to doing it that I can vomit on command, sort of like making yourself burp. But please, please, please don't put any instrument down your throat.

I was just telling them my experience plus all the negatives and health issues I now suffer with. I'm not encouraging but maybe it came off that way : /

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

With death by bulimia you mean starving yourself to death or dying of a cardiovascular complication because of low electrolyte levels (from vomiting)?

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

With death by bulimia you mean starving yourself to death or dying of a cardiovascular complication because of low electrolyte levels (from vomiting)?

Yes.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I developed bulimia in 2019, I used a toothbrush to go as deep down my throat until you hit the gag reflex. Two years later I have physical health conditions such as hypokaelemia which can cause cardiac arrest or arrhythmia but it isn't a viable method in my opinion,m. Since this year I've been consistently coming in an out of hospital for also low blood pressure it's a slow and crappy method. Unless you managed to get your potassium level critically low like I have twice under 2.5, it's not worth it. And the symptoms include muscle spasms and cramping. Chest tightness, digestion and chronic constipation, severe tooth erosion that caused some of my teeth to rot and have to get them sergically removed. And if you are hospitalised with low electrolytes you will be put on painful infusions for days.
just don't do this please, and just starving yourself won't be any better. I'm no where in recovery since I'm long gone for help but I am coming across as fear mongering you because I don't want you to experience what I currently am. It sucks, it's long and not worth it, it's a slow death. I hope you can get home from the psych ward, I was in one for a month, please take care and don't harm yourself more or they could keep you in a long section

Thank you for your detailed and kind response.

I have taken all of your advice onboard.

Maybe I'll try anorexia a go, instead. Once I put my mind to something, I can be very headstrong. Like a machine.

Thanks again, my friend, and good luck on your own journey.

 

[Dear Agony]

It doesn't work like that. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, you can't develop one just setting your mind to it.
Bulimia is an addiction. I've been struggling with it for years and unfortunately, still alive and healthy. That might not be the case for all bulimics, but like 1% or less of us die from our condition.
I'm addicted to food, think about it all day, consume up to 30.000 calories in one single night. It's an addiction similar to drugs or alcohol, but a behavioral addiction.

 

[Victoria]

I'm currently thinking of my next method.

I've been overeating on this psych ward (boredom) and don't want to reverse all of the weight loss I've achieved by stopping all of the medication.

I just tried putting my fingers down my throat to bring up a load of food. Started retching, but nothing came up.

Does anyone have any methods/tricks to successfully bring what you've eaten back up?

Thanks in advance, and good luck on your own journey.

Yes I used to be bulimic. I just used to drink a lot of water with meals then wait half an hour and throwing up was easier. But I don't recommend bulimia as an answer to anything. It wrecks your skin, your teeth, makes your throat feel rank all the time. I went to hospital once because blood started coming up. It's horrible and just makes you feel ill all the time. Just don't do it xx

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

It doesn't work like that. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, you can't develop one just setting your mind to it.
Bulimia is an addiction. I've been struggling with it for years and unfortunately, still alive and healthy. That might not be the case for all bulimics, but like 1% or less of us die from our condition.
I'm addicted to food, think about it all day, consume up to 30.000 calories in one single night. It's an addiction similar to drugs or alcohol, but a behavioral addiction.

It doesn't work like that. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, you can't develop one just setting your mind to it.
Bulimia is an addiction. I've been struggling with it for years and unfortunately, still alive and healthy. That might not be the case for all bulimics, but like 1% or less of us die from our condition.
I'm addicted to food, think about it all day, consume up to 30.000 calories in one single night. It's an addiction similar to drugs or alcohol, but a behavioral addiction.

I believe I almost went anorexic years ago.

I was like a 40" waist, short, fat and unhealthy.

I went on my (now) signature diet, where I only eat once a day. However, it was extreme. It was the thinnest sandwich you could imagine. And I pushed back my meal further and further into the evening.

It got to the point where some days I wouldn't eat at all. The weight fell off of me, and within about 3 months I fell away to nothing. People at college used to comment "are you unwell, Tommy?"

I began to black out and feint, and knew that my body was shutting down.

So as much as I absolutely respect your comments, I very much disagree in your opinion that these illnesses can't be deliberately brought on.

It just takes willpower, and as someone who regularly overdoses on 300 tablets at a time, I can apply my mind to practically anything. I just tap into the deep, dark aspect of my being.

Thanks again for your info.

Yes I used to be bulimic. I just used to drink a lot of water with meals then wait half an hour and throwing up was easier. But I don't recommend bulimia as an answer to anything. It wrecks your skin, your teeth, makes your throat feel rank all the time. I went to hospital once because blood started coming up. It's horrible and just makes you feel ill all the time. Just don't do it xx

Thanks Victoria xx.

 

[Octavina]

It doesn't work like that. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, you can't develop one just setting your mind to it.
Bulimia is an addiction. I've been struggling with it for years and unfortunately, still alive and healthy. That might not be the case for all bulimics, but like 1% or less of us die from our condition.
I'm addicted to food, think about it all day, consume up to 30.000 calories in one single night. It's an addiction similar to drugs or alcohol, but a behavioral addiction.

Sorry but do you mind me asking have you never been hospitalised or had blood tests done to check your levels? I have bad binge and perge episodes daily but I've never consumed that amount. You must've felt some kind of physical symptoms due to this since you've struggled with it for years? Sorry to sound nosey but I am surprised you are healthy. Maybe you are just lucky or have good genes or something? I have this chronic nausea feeling due to low bp, headaches, shaking and weak legs, fatigue. But the thing I have to worry about is the muscle spasms and cramps, and pins and needles in extremities. Which causes me to not sleep for days which can also make the twitching and chest tightness worsen. : (
I hope you can recover, I wish I could stop

 

[poisonedminds]

This is so fucking offensive? It's an illness, you can't just choose to become eating disordered. Do you have any idea what sufferers of this illness would give for even one single day of respite??!
I have severe anorexia (binge-purge subtype) and it is the main reason I want to die. It has destroyed my life. There's absolutely nothing desirable about this illness. Even if you were successful at getting sick, it would take years before death, if you die at all. The mortality rate for eating disorders is very high because the suicide rate is so high. Some people also die from heart failure, but it takes years before you get to that point and it is certainly not worth the pain.
Find a different way. Find a way to ask for attention in a healthy manner.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

"

This is so fucking offensive? It's an illness, you can't just choose to become eating disordered. Do you have any idea what sufferers of this illness would give for even one single day of respite??!
I have severe anorexia (binge-purge subtype) and it is the main reason I want to die. It has destroyed my life. There's absolutely nothing desirable about this illness. Even if you were successful at getting sick, it would take years before death, if you die at all. The mortality rate for eating disorders is very high because the suicide rate is so high. Some people also die from heart failure, but it takes years before you get to that point and it is certainly not worth the pain.
Find a different way. Find a way to ask for attention in a healthy manner.

"This is so fucking offensive?"

No, this is an open forum for people seeking advice, and assistance.

Hence, my post.

 

[Largeletters]

I used to struggle with binging/purging a lot. I was getting treated by professionals for it and one of my doctors told me it's possible to get a heart attack while purging (don't know how true that is). I used to wish this would kill me (I don't binge/purge anymore). I'm sorry you're struggling with this.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

these things can take years to kill you, assuming you actually have the disorder...

 

[Dear Agony]

Sorry but do you mind me asking have you never been hospitalised or had blood tests done to check your levels? I have bad binge and perge episodes daily but I've never consumed that amount. You must've felt some kind of physical symptoms due to this since you've struggled with it for years? Sorry to sound nosey but I am surprised you are healthy. Maybe you are just lucky or have good genes or something? I have this chronic nausea feeling due to low bp, headaches, shaking and weak legs, fatigue. But the thing I have to worry about is the muscle spasms and cramps, and pins and needles in extremities. Which causes me to not sleep for days which can also make the twitching and chest tightness worsen. : (
I hope you can recover, I wish I could stop

Unfortunately I have given up on recovery, my bulimia is pretty much what's keeping me alive rn ("when the hand that beats you is also the hand that pets you"). Eating is the only thing that makes me feel better for a while, which is why I have this addiction on the first place. I'd be dead long ago if it wasn't for this shitty coping mechanism.
As for being healthy, I am not sure why but I can pretty much stay away from hospitals, my weight is not dangerously low nor are my labs alarming in any way. I am anaemic and have B12 deficiency though. I also replenish electrolytes almost everyday (coconut water, Gatorade or pedialyte). I am for sure dehydrated all the time, have dry skin and lips, poor blood circulation and etc. But far from dying.
I guess my body is just resilient and wants to stay, unfortunately lol
(I hope you're doing well, I know how tough it is to deal with all this).

"

"This is so fucking offensive?"

No, this is an open forum for people seeking advice, and assistance.

Hence, my post.

I can see why the person that called it offensive, called it offensive.
Let's say someone wants to die and doesn't suffer from any mental health conditions, just wants to die for financial or family issues. That person comes here with a thread named "death by depression". It wouldn't make sense, right? You can't just make yourself develop depression. You can engage in behaviors depressive people do, but you can't make yourself develop a psychiatric illness. The thread name should be "death by vomiting/purging", and not mention the word bulimia.
Having that said, much luck to you if you actually manage to bring yourself to develop it. Because it's hell, and it'll take years for you to die, most likely. If you don't believe me, look up Eugenia Cooney.
Eating disordered people usually already struggle with a mood disorder, develop an addiction to deal with it (binging and purging, restricting, exercising etc), which keeps them alive for a while, until they either die by suicide or from their illness, or like MOST of us, live the rest of their lives in pain dealing with this.

 

[sick.faery]

i do'nt think you can die from just purging, unless you want to really wait it out for years or go the restrict/purge route until you get to a death weight. and even then it's long, not easy and it's not super great

also just saying, purging often can make you get rotten teeth that eventually might fall out, very quickly get a stinky ass breath, swollen cheeks to the point of looking deformed potentially (happens quickly if you do it enough apparently), stomach acid taste lingering for a while in your mouth (you can still feel it with gum), acne & skin problems, it's just generally gross, you have to wash your hands super thoroughly all the time. it also take a while to get everything up, it's hard to hide from the people you live with & you really have to do it right after eating to burn off 3/4's - half of the cals you eat, and after 30 min, it's all absorbed so it's not really worth it anyways

 

[M.M]

It's not a good way.
A good way is quick, efficient and painless.

It's irritating being really weak if you are very skinny.