Help dealing with no one to talk to

[sorrymom]

I am so tired of having to internalize feelings of suicide. I want to be better but you can't turn to any friends to help because it's selfish to put that burden on them, you can't talk to professionals at risk of being institutionalized (it is either all or nothing, can't afford being out of commission) and internet communities focused on being better are just empty and lacking. where do you even go?

 

[Pluto]

I hear you. Being able to express freely is so important regardless of whether the eventual destination will be recovery or not.

where do you even go?

I found a wonderful community on a website not long ago and can highly recommend it: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/

 

[Manaaja]

I know exactly what you feel.

Especially the "can't talk to professionals". I wish no one was ever jailed for suicidal thoughts. I wish it was possible to be open and honest with professionals and other people. I can't trust professionals because of that. Sometimes I feel like I want to talk to a professional, but I just can't trust them.

I have found that on here I am free to talk about suicidal feelings, but even on here it can be hard.

Let's say, for example, there's a user with a terminal disease, and they'd rather ctb before they become unable to walk and talk. I have a lot of trouble knowing what to tell them. It would feel wrong and immoral to say "Yeah, you should ctb before your condition gets worse" and yet at the same time saying things like "Don't worry, it can get better, focus on positive things" feels like lying and positive toxicity.

I wish people accepted that sometimes the only good way for people is to ctb. If your life has been shitty for the first 30 years, it's not unrealistic to think it will be shitty for the rest of your life too. I mean it is possible, but not that possible.

 

[whywere]

That is a great series of questions! Your post is actually a whole set of questions wrapped up with where does one turn to? You are really a great thinker, and I am being 100% serious.

Yep, told my mental health place a long time ago about "things" and bang! was committed to the Ol' hospital for a good 14 days of hell.

Told a coworker once and got a roll of the eyes and then was asked by a higher up if everything was "ok"!

Now, you are on SS, and I have been here since June 2020 and this place, and everyone has been just so helpful and nice to me. Give SS a try and see if that helps.

The one thing that I have learned after 65 years of being here is that everything is never the same from one day to the next. I am not on all the time, chronic pain issues, BUT I am around if you want too pm me.

We are all in this together on SS and helping each other might be a huge help.

Always my best to you and lots of hugs and love!!!

Walter

 

[Sherri]

If you have friends you trust, talk to them, if they are your real friends they will listen and take away that burden you feeling inside I just had 1 hour ago a huge talk with a long time friend. Spoke about suicide and all my inner ghosts, felt better afterwards. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk.

 

[Rustysoupcan]

I'm dealing with the same. I have no friends, no one to talk to at all. I usually take it out on myself with self harm. Which I dont reccomend. It sucks, and I have no advice, just wanted to say Im with you here

 

[stellabelle]

Here, where everyone does understand.