Dealing with limbo

[GreyMonkey]

I'm exhausted. Over life. Can't see a future without an extreme amount of work and personality change that seems beyond me.

My computer just died and I lost all my data. I'm behind on uni assignments. I don't know what I'm doing.

Really really want out... yet also super scared of death and what might happen. Don't really want to cause pain to my mum either.

I have everything I need for SN pretty much (still waiting on the SN but that's the easier part).

I'm just fucking tired of building myself up then my life falling to shit. Over and over. So many times. I can't deal with it anymore.

I hate this limbo. Too afraid and tired to live. Too afraid to die.

Got my sn today. Just tasted a bit, it doesn't taste bad at all. Just salty. Kind of nice even.

 

[Polka]

How old are you you?

 

[GreyMonkey]

38

 

[Polka]

oh ok, I guess that's on the edge of making a new start, still quite young.

have you made list of pros and cons? maybe lower your ambitions a bit to accomodate the depression?

have you tried brisk walks LOL

 

[AgonyOnMe]

Well, maybe now that you have your SN, you can shift your focus to something else. Sometimes just having the option of a way out is enough to get you through - like a safety net.

 

[Mloureiro]

Well, maybe now that you have your SN, you can shift your focus to something else. Sometimes just having the option of a way out is enough to get you through - like a safety net.

Is working for me, having a safety exit prepared, just in case. I have everything now and it has made me calmer actually.

 

[Rachel74]

Limbo is awful! I'm there at the moment, but I refuse to give in.

 

[notjustyetagain]

by my understanding limbo is the inexorable path from life to death and suffering isn't optional. i deal with it by frying my brain with weird chemicals, burning one receptor out after the next. i can't imagine the suffering of people whose brains aren't being cooked away; i don't know how you can tolerate it. you all get my bravery award.

i feel like there's a better way to deal with limbo; helping others deal with limbo for example, but i'm of no use to anyone given my degree of dysfunctionality, from starving myself to ridiculous sleepless stretches to taking a razor and gently pushing it down my arms without a care of lying on blankets caked with rotting blood. i'm not here, nobody's home, and nobody's knocking: nobody knows. i've slowly closed the circle of awareness around me, and run cautiously—taking care not to scream—from the light bleeding in through the fucking windows.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I'm exhausted. Over life. Can't see a future without an extreme amount of work and personality change that seems beyond me.

My computer just died and I lost all my data. I'm behind on uni assignments. I don't know what I'm doing.

Really really want out... yet also super scared of death and what might happen. Don't really want to cause pain to my mum either.

I have everything I need for SN pretty much (still waiting on the SN but that's the easier part).

I'm just fucking tired of building myself up then my life falling to shit. Over and over. So many times. I can't deal with it anymore.

I hate this limbo. Too afraid and tired to live. Too afraid to die.

Got my sn today. Just tasted a bit, it doesn't taste bad at all. Just salty. Kind of nice even.

dont taste too much till you r ready- my heart was racing v.fast from a tiny speck- though that may partly have been nerves also

 

[Sweet emotion]

oh ok, I guess that's on the edge of making a new start, still quite young.

have you made list of pros and cons? maybe lower your ambitions a bit to accomodate the depression?

have you tried brisk walks LOL

I know you did not just ask her that.

 

[GreyMonkey]

I know you did not just ask her that.

Him. But yeah haha

 

[sadbunny]

I was just talking about this the other day. It's agonizing isn't it? Not knowing where you are

 

[fightingsioux]

How old are you you?

Glad to see someone ask that with no repercussions; I'm new here and wasn't sure if that question was frowned upon.

In just a week of reading this forum, I've wanted to ask that question a couple of dozen times!

 

[Polka]

I know you did not just ask her that.

Was there a problem with what I asked?

Glad to see someone ask that with no repercussions;

It matters a lot so that youngsters with drama issues can be filtered out. But there are some young people severely affected by evil doers so it's a case by case basis.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Was there a problem with what I asked?


It matters a lot so that youngsters with drama issues can be filtered out. But there are some young people severely affected by evil doers so it's a case by case basis.

I'm talking about the brisk walks.

 

[Polka]

Ok thanks.

I hope it gave you a laugh. That was the intention.