Damm it. Don't know what to do....

[dandan]

I've been experiencing a successful recovery,
until today.

Today, after 25* weeks of feeling fine
I realize I'm not good at my job
I might lose my job
I lost 20 years to depression, almost hiding in my room, and took me long time to finish university, in three different ones.

What will I do if I lose my job, I could've been a millionaire!!!
Many years ago I crashed my car , my family didn't lend me money, i had no job or income , i was spending days inside my mommas house, my family told me they wouldn't lend me money , that if I bought Bitcoin with my money , I should pay my accident with Bitcoin.

That's 2million dollars of Bitcoin worth today, really, I hate that!!! Hate it hate it hate it!!! So fucking stupid of them! And of me too.

Now i really don't know what to do.

I woke up okay, this has just started to hit me, since I'm getting used to feeling not bad, the thrill of being fine is coming to an end, and reality is hitting me, what will I do?

 

[LonelyHopelessDude]

I really hope you will recover...

If only I discovered Bitcoins earlier...

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

Yeah. The cycles suck. I hate when the good comes to an end. I always feel like my doctor thinks I'm lying. "Things were going so well!"

 

[Libracusp_1022]

I've been experiencing a successful recovery,
until today.

Today, after 25* weeks of feeling fine
I realize I'm not good at my job
I might lose my job
I lost 20 years to depression, almost hiding in my room, and took me long time to finish university, in three different ones.

What will I do if I lose my job, I could've been a millionaire!!!
Many years ago I crashed my car , my family didn't lend me money, i had no job or income , i was spending days inside my mommas house, my family told me they wouldn't lend me money , that if I bought Bitcoin with my money , I should pay my accident with Bitcoin.

That's 2million dollars of Bitcoin worth today, really, I hate that!!! Hate it hate it hate it!!! So fucking stupid of them! And of me too.

Now i really don't know what to do.

I woke up okay, this has just started to hit me, since I'm getting used to feeling not bad, the thrill of being fine is coming to an end, and reality is hitting me, what will I do?

I hear you about Bitcoin! But to be fair, most of us missed the bitcoin train!!
You did finish University! It took me more than 3, and over a period of several years. I would say good on you for persevering!
As to your job...If course no one wants to feel like that, but look around- how many people are good at their jobs? Not that many. I wouldn't rule out the possibility of finding something new that you are good at. This could be an opportunity.
Going down the rabbit hole of remorse and self flagellation is never a good place to be ( I know!) I think you can cut yourself some slack. A lot actually. All the things you mention sound like you're just human. You're not bad! You're not worse than anyone else!
You know what it feels like to not feel bad. That's huge. You can get there again!
When I think I'm fucking up, or having an especially hard time, it helps to know that my situation isn't particular to me- it's just shit people go through, others struggle with the same things. It helps put it in perspective.

 

[dandan]

Thank you guys, I acknowledge I can still live a good life and have a chance at doing something, I can code a little , that's my job but I'm not a master... now that I feel better I can learn , I would really like my own website and make money, maybe a real estate website, and definitely a crypto multilevel betting system but I don't expect much from that but i want it. Still, talking is shit, doing it is what really matters.

I would like to find something else, but ain't easy with the free time , I like the idea of having a good idea just popping into my mind while thinking about it.

Action, not words, I say it to myself.

 

[Libracusp_1022]

Action, not words, I say it to myself.
[/QUOTE]

One step at a time. I hope that doesn't sound corny, but small, realistic goals really do seem to help...