Cut down to the fat yesterday

[Ww42]

Anyone else self harm here? What kind do you do? I cut and hit, mainly cutting. This cut has been bleeding for the past two days now and is getting quite annoying to deal with, but also extremely validating in a very sickening way

 

[kittyshole]

I've been doing fat n muscle cuts for many years now, healing is ASS and the scars make me feel insecure, but proud sometimes.

If you need help on aftercare + how to keep it not infected I can help a little? Although I'm not a medical professional, just some idiot who does it a lot lol

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yeah, that validation will likely end up fading away and you may end up finding yourself feeling the need to cut deeper to feel "valid". How deep you cut has nothing to do with the validity of your SH. If you are purposely harming yourself, then it's valid. Doesn't matter if you're only giving yourself cat scratches or cutting deep enough to see bone. Most people who cut don't even go past the epidermis.

 

[BasilThePlant]

I do. I only go to the derm, or catscratches. I value quantity over quality, aha.

 

[kyhoti]

Yikes, going deep is scary. I never went really deep, but I used to stab myself with shirt pins. Sometimes I'd forget a pin and it would rust inside me. I left that behind and I went the substance abuse route instead. I did get into hitting when I was locked away, but the bounce-back took way too long. Be as safe as you can be and may you find the peace you seek.

 

[aroll]

I've been sh-ing since middle school, went very deep a lot of times and it left deep purple scars that I'm ashamed to show. Also burning myself with a lighter. They make me insecure especially during the summer, but I feel better when I hear how many people are proud of their own scars. Now I'm a month clean and trying to learn to be proud of them too.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I once tried, tried sometimes due to unbearable stress however I couldn't bring myself to do anything that wasn't cat scratches because I can't bring myself to severely harm myself. It makes me question my capacity to CTB but I think that will be an "all or nothing" SI standoff for me. Reason for that is because I have a phobia about medical stuff and injuries, if I didn't have this VERY BIG fear I probably would've done worse. Scratches and punches is max my mind allows.

I'll also drop a quote I've read but it's unrelated to the posting in case anyone needs it: "The severity of your problems isn't determined by how deep you cut."

 

[Ww42]

I've been doing fat n muscle cuts for many years now, healing is ASS and the scars make me feel insecure, but proud sometimes.

If you need help on aftercare + how to keep it not infected I can help a little? Although I'm not a medical professional, just some idiot who does it a lot lol

Please share whatever you know. So far, all I've done is I clean it daily by irrigating it with saline water, then I put an antibiotic ointment on it, then cover it with a sterile dressing and I change that dressing once a day. So I'm not entirely sure if that's good enough. What has been your routine? Cutting down to the muscle must SUCK for healing I imagine. Dealing with the fat already is going to take weeks to heal enough, i'm sorry you've been in so much pain to get that far

Yeah, that validation will likely end up fading away and you may end up finding yourself feeling the need to cut deeper to feel "valid". How deep you cut has nothing to do with the validity of your SH. If you are purposely harming yourself, then it's valid. Doesn't matter if you're only giving yourself cat scratches or cutting deep enough to see bone. Most people who cut don't even go past the epidermis.

Most don't go past the epidermis, really? That...really just makes me feel more fucked up to know I'm going so deep :(
Also validating in a way to feel that im fucked up enough to go that deep, but damn, I really am not healthy mentally lmao

I've been sh-ing since middle school, went very deep a lot of times and it left deep purple scars that I'm ashamed to show. Also burning myself with a lighter. They make me insecure especially during the summer, but I feel better when I hear how many people are proud of their own scars. Now I'm a month clean and trying to learn to be proud of them too.

Congrats on a month! That's a great accomplishment. And I feel the same. I still have 5 year old scars that turn purple under certain temperatures, it can be embarrassing especially during the summer as a man who self harms. I hope you continue to fight the urges and keep clean. It's really not worth the struggles that come with self harm

 

[damienlerone03]

I do. I only go to the derm, or catscratches. I value quantity over quality, aha.

two things

1) quantity >>>>>> quality
2) on a side note i love your pfp and your name hehe, matches mine

 

[Ww42]

two things

1) quantity >>>>>> quality
2) on a side note i love your pfp and your name hehe, matches min

two things

1) quantity >>>>>> quality
2) on a side note i love your pfp and your name hehe, matches mine

I'm more of a quality over quantity guy lmao. Which is not a good thing because it means more annoying healing process compared to you quantity>quality self harmers. I hope you're doing as best you can despite your struggles in this life.

 

[Achroma]

yeah ive been doing it for several years now, my arm looks entirely fucked up which makes me really uncomfortable wearing anything with short sleeves qwq
especially annoying in the summer ._.

 

[Ww42]

yeah ive been doing it for several years now, my arm looks entirely fucked up which makes me really uncomfortable wearing anything with short sleeves qwq
especially annoying in the summer ._.

I completely understand :( My arms are the same way, I eventually got so hot that I stopped caring and just wore short sleeves, people notice, a couple have commented on them asking what they were, but I'd say 98% of the time, people keep to themselves. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I hope your pains ease, if even for a little bit

 

[Achroma]

I completely understand :( My arms are the same way, I eventually got so hot that I stopped caring and just wore short sleeves, people notice, a couple have commented on them asking what they were, but I'd say 98% of the time, people keep to themselves. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I hope your pains ease, if even for a little bit

ive also been wearing short sleeves sometimes but i prefer not to, i only do it if its suuper warm
oh yeah people do be asking. its kind of weird because i feel like they probably know already but they want me to spell it out for them. ive had some guy ask me while i was waiting for a train and he wouldnt let it go so that was a really uncomfortable wait,,
other than that theres the people who will just yell "emo" at you which is also kinda strange. i wish people could just not comment on them but like 1 in 1000 or so always thinks they have to be weird about it,,

 

[vi0lence]

hm i burn myself until my flesh simmers

 

[Ww42]

ive also been wearing short sleeves sometimes but i prefer not to, i only do it if its suuper warm
oh yeah people do be asking. its kind of weird because i feel like they probably know already but they want me to spell it out for them. ive had some guy ask me while i was waiting for a train and he wouldnt let it go so that was a really uncomfortable wait,,
other than that theres the people who will just yell "emo" at you which is also kinda strange. i wish people could just not comment on them but like 1 in 1000 or so always thinks they have to be weird about it,,

That's so fucked. I had someone on an elevator just say "You got cats?" and start laughing after obviously knowing what they meant. that and the obvious emo comments, the stares, people just yelling "coward" at me, etc. Just a really fucked world

hm i burn myself until my flesh simmers

I'm sorry you're suffering enough to do that. I used to burn a little but never to that extent. How long have you done this? Hows the healing process been?

 

[aroll]

Please share whatever you know. So far, all I've done is I clean it daily by irrigating it with saline water, then I put an antibiotic ointment on it, then cover it with a sterile dressing and I change that dressing once a day. So I'm not entirely sure if that's good enough. What has been your routine? Cutting down to the muscle must SUCK for healing I imagine. Dealing with the fat already is going to take weeks to heal enough, i'm sorry you've been in so much pain to get that far

Most don't go past the epidermis, really? That...really just makes me feel more fucked up to know I'm going so deep :(
Also validating in a way to feel that im fucked up enough to go that deep, but damn, I really am not healthy mentally lmao

Congrats on a month! That's a great accomplishment. And I feel the same. I still have 5 year old scars that turn purple under certain temperatures, it can be embarrassing especially during the summer as a man who self harms. I hope you continue to fight the urges and keep clean. It's really not worth the struggles that come with self harm

Thank you, it means a lot!! Good luck to you too!

 

[BasilThePlant]

two things

1) quantity >>>>>> quality
2) on a side note i love your pfp and your name hehe, matches mine

aahhhhh ty!!! i luv urs too ! :>