supergold#2
sapphic, suicidal, and stupid
- Oct 20, 2024
- 64
god, i honestly just wanna complain, even just have some laugh at the utter absurdity in all the time where, genuinely, i probably should've died, and somehow didnt
in no apparent order:
fell off of a boat into 43°f open ocean in alaska, in an area very aptly named "gore point", (can't remember if it was dusk or "nighttime"), no lifejacket, took the crew ~30 to actually locate me bc we in 3-4 swells, completely unscathed, not even hypothermia
(unrelated: later, had a contest with locals to seewho could sit in the ocean the longest, i think? i tapped out around an hour due to boredom, probs could've gone a while longer)
also in alaska, had to be the eyes and ears of a mostly blind 70yo dude (only one with a gun, some sort of break action single shell shotgun, idk) to go hunting a family of blackbears that'd been wreakimg havoc on ths island. i find something, dave shoots, and down the hill rolls a cub. immediately follows angry mama charging straight for us, dave couldn't care less, casually reloads, and kills it no less than like 10 feet away from us.
last one (and the worst) from alaska: pass out fucking hammered after my 4th or 5th night in a row working 20+ hour shifts (sous chef of a restaurant, i don't go home until everything's done (6 days on, 1 day off)) wake up at 4am completely out of it, notice a light near my window, suddenly smell the smoke, come to my senses and realize my entire cabin is on fire. sprint outside and down the stairs (also on fire), wake everyone up, and we all proceed to spend the next 3 hours putting it out. all my belongings burnt up, 2nd degree burns all over my feet, otherwise fine. (yes the restaurant still opened for service that day, which was fucking stupid)
back home (utah): on a road trip to see full of hell & cult leader. recently had done an engine swap on my car, realized on the way up that either my radiator or coolant pump wasn't working properly, car would overheat if i went <70 mph, but it's fine. head back home ~11pm (sometime in the dead of winter), same overheating problem, hit black ice right as i was approaching a sharp bend, going ~80, kept it marginally in control for a while, and idk how, but adrenaline fueled me somehow maneuvers the car so that the tail end drags along the wall and guides us to a stop. dude in the backseat didn't even wake up until i got out of the car. car look completely fine visibly, but the frame bent just enough to pop some motor mounts, dropped the transmission, totaling the car. completely fine otherwise.
[these are my "i have a fat fucking mouth and way too much pent up rage" stories]:
at a bar with a (at the time) friend, saw my old dealer, buy some coke, proceed to blackout (also think i bought more coke?). from what my friend said the next day, apparently, while in the bathroom i hear someone else come in, my dumb idiot brain decides to yell "are you a f*ggot too? because this is a f*ggot only event" (note: both of us are VISIBLY and actively queer). turns out the women is the very charicature of the "my husbands in the trades and we love trump"-type. doesn't take things too well, tells her husband. husband proceeds to flip his lid, idk what was said, but i pull out a knife, get in his face and *apparently* looked like i was about to "go in for the kill". friend, doorguy, and some randos drag us apart, get kicked out of the bar. completely fine (hungover). [friend says i'm a "dangerous person", get the boot from a local queer game night (plus another hundred pages of drama ill spare you from) tale as old as time.)
another bar, another night, with my partner at the time (past member here, ctb 2.5 years ago). literally right as we're walking in, some absolutely shithoused dude won't leave us alone. (mind you, it's post-lockdown but still mask mandate covid era) says something about me i can't remember, then calls my partner "lady gaga with worse teeth" (reminder, masks. (also partner was literally 5'2")), it'd whatever, try to de-escalate and walk away, dude straight up grabs my partner yanks then back, says something incomprehensible. i try to break if up, dude gets all up in my face and has *that look* (if you've ever been in a fight, jumped, etc. you know what i mean), literally a bomb about to blow. enter my old trusty knife (i'm small and weak and stabby, it's reliable, don't judge me lmao) quietly push if up to his stomach (not hard or anything, just so he knows) and say "if you want a problem, we can definitely make this a problem". dude immediately backs off, tries to look innocent, leaves. let the bartender know what happened. about 5 minutes, here comes dude, pounding at the window, pointing at us, yelling somethimg incomprehensible. (i'm very very very stupid btw) decided it'd be fun to make faces, play with my knife under the table, just completely make things worse. actively make things worse for a while until he gives up and leaves again. decide to head home. right as we climb into the car, dude comes barelling in outta nowhere, pounds on the windows after ky partner closes their door. lyft driver pulls off, flip crazy dude the bird, just to feel something or something, idk. partner (rightfully so) is mad when we get home, otherwise fine.
out with my roommate (same bar as the first fat fucking mouth story) who'd just broken up with her boyfriend, and i genuinely don't say this lightly, but this dude was fucking INSANE (this is coming from a girl with schizo-affective and bpd lol) like, dude was literally ALWAYS chugging robatussin (you read that right) in conjuction with a seemingly neverending supply of coke, adding (what i am genuinely only guessing at here, he never mentioned anything, but roommate and i both came to similar conclusions) potential npd with potential (did? schizo-spectrum?). totally different person literally every time you'd talk to him. back to the story, we're just having fun, shooting pool, casually drinking, i don't even notice him walk in, but according to roommate he sees me and gets PISSSED (never had a single fight or confrontation before this), starts throwing pool balls like some mlb pitcher (genuinely didnt even notice at this point), breaks the bar tv, couple holes in the walls, immediately starts charging over and completely loses his footing, hits his head on pool table, drug oug my doorguy. i think the only part i even counsciously noticed was movement out of the corner of my eye, which made me jump/step away. wasn't until afterwards that roommate tells me at least 2 of the balls were, like, millimeters from my head. completely fine.
when i was young, i really likes longboarding, but not in the way that people are actually good at it, i just liked to see how fast i could get the thing going lol. perfected my technique of going complete tuck (no helmet for "drag reduction"), never turning, getting completely paralyzed with fear, and waiting for the inevitable speedwobbles/wipout. decided to try a considerably taller hill with my perfect techniques, kid who lived with us in high school following in his car as our spedometer lol. start my crash course in ballistics, get almost the entire way to the bottom, and the speed wobbles completely shake me. head hit concrete. body slides [im unconscious at this point], spedometer is too busy keeping pace, doesn't notice, miraculously goes directly over me, doesn't actually run me over. spedometer said 55 mph. road rash said "who even needs skin?". no broken bones. otherwise fine.
there's the heroin/fentanyl accidental overdose section, but if you count blacking out asoverdosing, there's too many to count.
near-successful suicide: my very very very best friend had just died of fentanyl overdose, i was in town for her celebration of life. decided i don't wanna live without her around, planned my exit. took: 9000mg temazepam, ingested, 3 blues ("fent" pills, though most likely were etidonozene), smoked, 1mg ativan (i had it on me, why waste?). ~11pm, swallow all 30 of my 30mg temazepam. go back to the place i was "staying at" that night. hang out for a bit, until i start to feel the very beginning of the inevitable blackout. walk to the park bench at the library, dedicated to my old partner who ctb earlier, hang out for [unknown duration of time], walk up to the part of the creek partner would always go to when depressed or anxious or just wanted a quiet spot. really rally close to total blackout at this point. put the ativan under my tongue. crush up all 3 blues, load em carelessly on tinfoil (figure i'll be out cold before i could smoke it all anyways, might as well do less work for one big ultra death hit). start to vaporize and take a hit. boom. hospital bed. 3 days later. apparently a random passerby noticed me crumpled and covered in puke, tried cpr and 2 doses of narcan, couldn't bring back vitals, took ~15 minutes for paramedics to arrive. 2 more doses of narcan, and cpr that (i genuinely don't know how) actually worked. only super week vitals. coma for 3 days. have noticeable cognitive deficit ever since, literally ALL of my ribs are broken, psyh ward for 2 weeks. go home fine(ish) (kinda but honestly not really).
*funny things that didnt come anywhere near death, but i jusf wanna share:*
total cars been hit by in my life: 8 (not including odemeter man longboard crash)
(2 at the same intersection, longboarding home from work
2 at ANOTHER nearby intersection, also longboarding home from work
3 just walking on my own 2 peets, following traffic laws
1 bc i was young and stupid (still stupid, just a lot less young) and decided to play leapfrog/frogger with my friends on a busy street)
total broken bones: i honestly lost count at this point, but i know the answer is >25
total times blacked out from head injury: 5
1 on longboard
3 on skateboard
1 on electric scooter (the razor scootee style kind, not the moped kind)
total attempted muggings (that i noticed lol): 2*
[this one is questionable]one while my band was on tour in portland, in a gas station, dude ran up to us with a gun and *the look*. noticed from a distance, got in the car, and peeled the fuck out.
one while at all things go in nyc. friends and i were pooped from day 2 of festival, decided "what could go wrong if we hopped on the last car, at almost midnight, heading from manhatten to bushwick (idk the train, maybe s?)
immediately greeted by an old lady openly smoking meth, and a bunch of dudes who were very intent on us in particular. whatevs, as long as my friends are chill, everything's fine, right? more sheltered friend starts like, visibly, having a nervous breakdown, try to distract her a bit, doesn't help. reach a point on the line where most of the passengers in the car in front of us exit. immediately "sketchy" (i phrase it like this, because honestly, im not entirely convinced that they're not just being skeezballs until now) dudes come move around us, notice almost everybodys strapped. one dude gets in real close to me keeps looking over towards either my purse or my legs idk. honestly, i think i was just too tired and existential to give a fuck (forgot to mention: was in the middle of the WORST psychotic episode id ever had, while also in the brewings of a borderline meltdown with my friends the following night), put my phone in my bag, made a lot of visible rustling in my bag, tapped my phone on an altoids can (trying to look tough and pretend i had literally anything to defend myself, which i did not). look up at dude, he responds with "alright fuck this im out", motions to his friends, they all go up to the next car. no harm no foul (well, besides the 2/3 other friends i think maybe got some mild ptsd from the experience)
total (adult) teeth lost: 8
total teeth rotted/have active cavities: [all]
total times I've had dental insurance: 0
(they say this one's lethal, but, like, the worst I've had was a very mild abscess/got antibiotics)
total buildings fallen off of (completely hammered): 3
2 were the same building, on the same night, within less than an hour [1 story]
1 was because i decided to get blitzed, on a jedi flip, and honestly didn't think the drop was very far [1 story]
total electrocutions (110v @ 10amps or greater [speakers, small batteries, and pcbs dont count]: 14
4 from doing low voltage construction, and the electricians forgot to shut off breakers to unterminated wires, broke the circuits with my flesh
9 were all between 110@10-220@15, working as an audio engineer at an amphitheater, literally ALL of which were because i was stupid (i.e. tested to see if wires or power amps were running signal using my hands)
1 was at some fucked up voltage and even more fucked up amperage (main power generator for all sound and lighting [auxillery rig to the home system], one of those 11(?) prong 000awg connectors idk), bridged the pins trying to get the thing unstuck, honestly maybe blacked out for a second?, had to reset like, EVERYTHING, to check for damage. got yelled at for that one
times stabbed (any instrument, used by another person, meant to harm): 4?
middle school, got in a fight, kid stabbed me with a pencil, went beyond the sharpened part so it counts
high school, kid got ahold of a drywall nail, stabbed many a random person, i got got twice, one superficial, and one went literally all the way in
high school, (my big fat fucking mouth), didn't like this kid bc he was really into marilyn manson (which is honestly, a really fair point in retrospect), antagonized him constantly, would run away if things got too heated (he was like 3x bigger than me). health class, me not being vigilant enough (and still talking shit), passed by with a pair of scissor, hit fucking hard. almost needed stitches, but i didnt want my parents to find out, so just superglued it every (day? other day?) for like, 2 straight weeks.
one was actually kinda fucked (my big fat fucking mouth), at a hardcore show, new in town, so i didn't realize it was literally ALL straight edge bands, do my normal thing, not know when go shut my mouth, double down when someone looks pissed (idk why but i was hoping that this would reimforce that i was joking), dude gets all up in arms and heated, sizes me up, honestly, i sucker punched him and it was cheap as fuck, giggle kinda walk away, dude comes back (who'da thought lmao) with boxcutter, makes a nice deep incission along my stomach. got a real sweet double scar from it when the stitches got taken out (idk if it actually even neeeeeeeded needed stitches, i just got anxious lol)
3rd degree burns: 2
1 from scraping the plancha (my first restaurant, everything was half broken, including the lights above the grill), a puddle of oil i though was only just surface grease ended up being like 1"+? melted the skin off my wrist, could see the styro, friends mom was a vet, got free dog drugs to treat my burn lol
1 was because i lost track of time browning butter for hollandaise, burnt th fuck out of it, went to toss it (middle of winter) and didn't remove the (ice covered) grease trap lid all the way. sizzled on me, i jumped, dumped that shit right on my foot. did not go to doctor. looked like i had a serious flesh eating disease for a month. still worked the next 6 hours of my shift.
alright. that's the end. to anyone who actually made it this far in, thanks for letting me word vomit a bunch of stupid things that genuinely don't even matter.
.
in no apparent order:
fell off of a boat into 43°f open ocean in alaska, in an area very aptly named "gore point", (can't remember if it was dusk or "nighttime"), no lifejacket, took the crew ~30 to actually locate me bc we in 3-4 swells, completely unscathed, not even hypothermia
(unrelated: later, had a contest with locals to seewho could sit in the ocean the longest, i think? i tapped out around an hour due to boredom, probs could've gone a while longer)
also in alaska, had to be the eyes and ears of a mostly blind 70yo dude (only one with a gun, some sort of break action single shell shotgun, idk) to go hunting a family of blackbears that'd been wreakimg havoc on ths island. i find something, dave shoots, and down the hill rolls a cub. immediately follows angry mama charging straight for us, dave couldn't care less, casually reloads, and kills it no less than like 10 feet away from us.
last one (and the worst) from alaska: pass out fucking hammered after my 4th or 5th night in a row working 20+ hour shifts (sous chef of a restaurant, i don't go home until everything's done (6 days on, 1 day off)) wake up at 4am completely out of it, notice a light near my window, suddenly smell the smoke, come to my senses and realize my entire cabin is on fire. sprint outside and down the stairs (also on fire), wake everyone up, and we all proceed to spend the next 3 hours putting it out. all my belongings burnt up, 2nd degree burns all over my feet, otherwise fine. (yes the restaurant still opened for service that day, which was fucking stupid)
back home (utah): on a road trip to see full of hell & cult leader. recently had done an engine swap on my car, realized on the way up that either my radiator or coolant pump wasn't working properly, car would overheat if i went <70 mph, but it's fine. head back home ~11pm (sometime in the dead of winter), same overheating problem, hit black ice right as i was approaching a sharp bend, going ~80, kept it marginally in control for a while, and idk how, but adrenaline fueled me somehow maneuvers the car so that the tail end drags along the wall and guides us to a stop. dude in the backseat didn't even wake up until i got out of the car. car look completely fine visibly, but the frame bent just enough to pop some motor mounts, dropped the transmission, totaling the car. completely fine otherwise.
[these are my "i have a fat fucking mouth and way too much pent up rage" stories]:
at a bar with a (at the time) friend, saw my old dealer, buy some coke, proceed to blackout (also think i bought more coke?). from what my friend said the next day, apparently, while in the bathroom i hear someone else come in, my dumb idiot brain decides to yell "are you a f*ggot too? because this is a f*ggot only event" (note: both of us are VISIBLY and actively queer). turns out the women is the very charicature of the "my husbands in the trades and we love trump"-type. doesn't take things too well, tells her husband. husband proceeds to flip his lid, idk what was said, but i pull out a knife, get in his face and *apparently* looked like i was about to "go in for the kill". friend, doorguy, and some randos drag us apart, get kicked out of the bar. completely fine (hungover). [friend says i'm a "dangerous person", get the boot from a local queer game night (plus another hundred pages of drama ill spare you from) tale as old as time.)
another bar, another night, with my partner at the time (past member here, ctb 2.5 years ago). literally right as we're walking in, some absolutely shithoused dude won't leave us alone. (mind you, it's post-lockdown but still mask mandate covid era) says something about me i can't remember, then calls my partner "lady gaga with worse teeth" (reminder, masks. (also partner was literally 5'2")), it'd whatever, try to de-escalate and walk away, dude straight up grabs my partner yanks then back, says something incomprehensible. i try to break if up, dude gets all up in my face and has *that look* (if you've ever been in a fight, jumped, etc. you know what i mean), literally a bomb about to blow. enter my old trusty knife (i'm small and weak and stabby, it's reliable, don't judge me lmao) quietly push if up to his stomach (not hard or anything, just so he knows) and say "if you want a problem, we can definitely make this a problem". dude immediately backs off, tries to look innocent, leaves. let the bartender know what happened. about 5 minutes, here comes dude, pounding at the window, pointing at us, yelling somethimg incomprehensible. (i'm very very very stupid btw) decided it'd be fun to make faces, play with my knife under the table, just completely make things worse. actively make things worse for a while until he gives up and leaves again. decide to head home. right as we climb into the car, dude comes barelling in outta nowhere, pounds on the windows after ky partner closes their door. lyft driver pulls off, flip crazy dude the bird, just to feel something or something, idk. partner (rightfully so) is mad when we get home, otherwise fine.
out with my roommate (same bar as the first fat fucking mouth story) who'd just broken up with her boyfriend, and i genuinely don't say this lightly, but this dude was fucking INSANE (this is coming from a girl with schizo-affective and bpd lol) like, dude was literally ALWAYS chugging robatussin (you read that right) in conjuction with a seemingly neverending supply of coke, adding (what i am genuinely only guessing at here, he never mentioned anything, but roommate and i both came to similar conclusions) potential npd with potential (did? schizo-spectrum?). totally different person literally every time you'd talk to him. back to the story, we're just having fun, shooting pool, casually drinking, i don't even notice him walk in, but according to roommate he sees me and gets PISSSED (never had a single fight or confrontation before this), starts throwing pool balls like some mlb pitcher (genuinely didnt even notice at this point), breaks the bar tv, couple holes in the walls, immediately starts charging over and completely loses his footing, hits his head on pool table, drug oug my doorguy. i think the only part i even counsciously noticed was movement out of the corner of my eye, which made me jump/step away. wasn't until afterwards that roommate tells me at least 2 of the balls were, like, millimeters from my head. completely fine.
when i was young, i really likes longboarding, but not in the way that people are actually good at it, i just liked to see how fast i could get the thing going lol. perfected my technique of going complete tuck (no helmet for "drag reduction"), never turning, getting completely paralyzed with fear, and waiting for the inevitable speedwobbles/wipout. decided to try a considerably taller hill with my perfect techniques, kid who lived with us in high school following in his car as our spedometer lol. start my crash course in ballistics, get almost the entire way to the bottom, and the speed wobbles completely shake me. head hit concrete. body slides [im unconscious at this point], spedometer is too busy keeping pace, doesn't notice, miraculously goes directly over me, doesn't actually run me over. spedometer said 55 mph. road rash said "who even needs skin?". no broken bones. otherwise fine.
there's the heroin/fentanyl accidental overdose section, but if you count blacking out asoverdosing, there's too many to count.
near-successful suicide: my very very very best friend had just died of fentanyl overdose, i was in town for her celebration of life. decided i don't wanna live without her around, planned my exit. took: 9000mg temazepam, ingested, 3 blues ("fent" pills, though most likely were etidonozene), smoked, 1mg ativan (i had it on me, why waste?). ~11pm, swallow all 30 of my 30mg temazepam. go back to the place i was "staying at" that night. hang out for a bit, until i start to feel the very beginning of the inevitable blackout. walk to the park bench at the library, dedicated to my old partner who ctb earlier, hang out for [unknown duration of time], walk up to the part of the creek partner would always go to when depressed or anxious or just wanted a quiet spot. really rally close to total blackout at this point. put the ativan under my tongue. crush up all 3 blues, load em carelessly on tinfoil (figure i'll be out cold before i could smoke it all anyways, might as well do less work for one big ultra death hit). start to vaporize and take a hit. boom. hospital bed. 3 days later. apparently a random passerby noticed me crumpled and covered in puke, tried cpr and 2 doses of narcan, couldn't bring back vitals, took ~15 minutes for paramedics to arrive. 2 more doses of narcan, and cpr that (i genuinely don't know how) actually worked. only super week vitals. coma for 3 days. have noticeable cognitive deficit ever since, literally ALL of my ribs are broken, psyh ward for 2 weeks. go home fine(ish) (kinda but honestly not really).
*funny things that didnt come anywhere near death, but i jusf wanna share:*
total cars been hit by in my life: 8 (not including odemeter man longboard crash)
(2 at the same intersection, longboarding home from work
2 at ANOTHER nearby intersection, also longboarding home from work
3 just walking on my own 2 peets, following traffic laws
1 bc i was young and stupid (still stupid, just a lot less young) and decided to play leapfrog/frogger with my friends on a busy street)
total broken bones: i honestly lost count at this point, but i know the answer is >25
total times blacked out from head injury: 5
1 on longboard
3 on skateboard
1 on electric scooter (the razor scootee style kind, not the moped kind)
total attempted muggings (that i noticed lol): 2*
[this one is questionable]one while my band was on tour in portland, in a gas station, dude ran up to us with a gun and *the look*. noticed from a distance, got in the car, and peeled the fuck out.
one while at all things go in nyc. friends and i were pooped from day 2 of festival, decided "what could go wrong if we hopped on the last car, at almost midnight, heading from manhatten to bushwick (idk the train, maybe s?)
immediately greeted by an old lady openly smoking meth, and a bunch of dudes who were very intent on us in particular. whatevs, as long as my friends are chill, everything's fine, right? more sheltered friend starts like, visibly, having a nervous breakdown, try to distract her a bit, doesn't help. reach a point on the line where most of the passengers in the car in front of us exit. immediately "sketchy" (i phrase it like this, because honestly, im not entirely convinced that they're not just being skeezballs until now) dudes come move around us, notice almost everybodys strapped. one dude gets in real close to me keeps looking over towards either my purse or my legs idk. honestly, i think i was just too tired and existential to give a fuck (forgot to mention: was in the middle of the WORST psychotic episode id ever had, while also in the brewings of a borderline meltdown with my friends the following night), put my phone in my bag, made a lot of visible rustling in my bag, tapped my phone on an altoids can (trying to look tough and pretend i had literally anything to defend myself, which i did not). look up at dude, he responds with "alright fuck this im out", motions to his friends, they all go up to the next car. no harm no foul (well, besides the 2/3 other friends i think maybe got some mild ptsd from the experience)
total (adult) teeth lost: 8
total teeth rotted/have active cavities: [all]
total times I've had dental insurance: 0
(they say this one's lethal, but, like, the worst I've had was a very mild abscess/got antibiotics)
total buildings fallen off of (completely hammered): 3
2 were the same building, on the same night, within less than an hour [1 story]
1 was because i decided to get blitzed, on a jedi flip, and honestly didn't think the drop was very far [1 story]
total electrocutions (110v @ 10amps or greater [speakers, small batteries, and pcbs dont count]: 14
4 from doing low voltage construction, and the electricians forgot to shut off breakers to unterminated wires, broke the circuits with my flesh
9 were all between 110@10-220@15, working as an audio engineer at an amphitheater, literally ALL of which were because i was stupid (i.e. tested to see if wires or power amps were running signal using my hands)
1 was at some fucked up voltage and even more fucked up amperage (main power generator for all sound and lighting [auxillery rig to the home system], one of those 11(?) prong 000awg connectors idk), bridged the pins trying to get the thing unstuck, honestly maybe blacked out for a second?, had to reset like, EVERYTHING, to check for damage. got yelled at for that one
times stabbed (any instrument, used by another person, meant to harm): 4?
middle school, got in a fight, kid stabbed me with a pencil, went beyond the sharpened part so it counts
high school, kid got ahold of a drywall nail, stabbed many a random person, i got got twice, one superficial, and one went literally all the way in
high school, (my big fat fucking mouth), didn't like this kid bc he was really into marilyn manson (which is honestly, a really fair point in retrospect), antagonized him constantly, would run away if things got too heated (he was like 3x bigger than me). health class, me not being vigilant enough (and still talking shit), passed by with a pair of scissor, hit fucking hard. almost needed stitches, but i didnt want my parents to find out, so just superglued it every (day? other day?) for like, 2 straight weeks.
one was actually kinda fucked (my big fat fucking mouth), at a hardcore show, new in town, so i didn't realize it was literally ALL straight edge bands, do my normal thing, not know when go shut my mouth, double down when someone looks pissed (idk why but i was hoping that this would reimforce that i was joking), dude gets all up in arms and heated, sizes me up, honestly, i sucker punched him and it was cheap as fuck, giggle kinda walk away, dude comes back (who'da thought lmao) with boxcutter, makes a nice deep incission along my stomach. got a real sweet double scar from it when the stitches got taken out (idk if it actually even neeeeeeeded needed stitches, i just got anxious lol)
3rd degree burns: 2
1 from scraping the plancha (my first restaurant, everything was half broken, including the lights above the grill), a puddle of oil i though was only just surface grease ended up being like 1"+? melted the skin off my wrist, could see the styro, friends mom was a vet, got free dog drugs to treat my burn lol
1 was because i lost track of time browning butter for hollandaise, burnt th fuck out of it, went to toss it (middle of winter) and didn't remove the (ice covered) grease trap lid all the way. sizzled on me, i jumped, dumped that shit right on my foot. did not go to doctor. looked like i had a serious flesh eating disease for a month. still worked the next 6 hours of my shift.
alright. that's the end. to anyone who actually made it this far in, thanks for letting me word vomit a bunch of stupid things that genuinely don't even matter.
.
