• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

F

forgetme

Member
Feb 2, 2022
65
Because not every story has a happy ending
Because sometimes you can't get on track
Because my life wasn't supposed to be like this
Because I was sad
Because I made really shitty choices
Because my dad never really cared and only showed up when it was convenient to him
Because my mom used my sickness to get sympathy and attention
Because my life was toxic and every thing I've been doing was to try to fix it or get to a better place
Because I can't live up to all these expectations
Because I'm just so tired of it all
Because my dad calls me and throws everything I've ever done wrong in my face since i was 12
Because my family wishes I was dead and has voiced it many times
Because my mom's mom is such a vile cold heartless person who claims to love me but her actions speak so much more differently
Because my family is tired of me
Because I'm tired of me
Because I wake up not wanting to live everyday
Because I haven't changed enough in my dad's eyes and he calls me a crazy person
Because I can't fuck up and admit I was wrong without being told that I should be sorry because I'm inconveniencing everyone
Because my dad won't let the past go and continues to talk shit about my mom
Because I would rather die than try to continuously fix things that wont ever be fixed no matter how hard I try
Because I'm so fucking sorry that I just couldn't handle it
Because I can't handle this because I can't keep fighting
I know how fucked up it is to apologize but I really am sorry. not to everyone just the few that really did try.
Most of the choices I made were my fault and mine alone, and that's really why I am where I am now. My shitty life choices. Relationships I made with unhealthy friends. Getting myself stuck in an abusive relationship and not leaving before too much damage had been done. Becoming a toxic person. I'm scared of getting close to anyone and I don't trust anyone and that's my fault. That's something that I would have to deal with
I don't know what I'm doing or why i even started writing this in the first place.Nothing is ever going to get better and the more I fight the more I realize I can't do this. I don't hate anyone and i hope nobody hates me but if you do I understand why. I didn't have it bad. Everything was pretty good so I don't get why I felt so bad all the time. I'm not crazy. Everything is getting all blurred and I'm tired. Physically mentally emotionally. I told my dad I'm done. I told him I felt like a burden and I dont want to feel like it anymore. He changed when he heard that. WHy do I have to be in so much pain for him to act kinder and softer? Nothing matters anymore. Im done
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Dead Meat, Wrennie, pthnrdnojvsc and 3 others
completely-done

completely-done

Experienced
Jan 31, 2022
211
Because not every story has a happy ending
Because sometimes you can't get on track
Because my life wasn't supposed to be like this
Because I was sad
Because I made really shitty choices
Because my dad never really cared and only showed up when it was convenient to him
Because my mom used my sickness to get sympathy and attention
Because my life was toxic and every thing I've been doing was to try to fix it or get to a better place
Because I can't live up to all these expectations
Because I'm just so tired of it all
Because my dad calls me and throws everything I've ever done wrong in my face since i was 12
Because my family wishes I was dead and has voiced it many times
Because my mom's mom is such a vile cold heartless person who claims to love me but her actions speak so much more differently
Because my family is tired of me
Because I'm tired of me
Because I wake up not wanting to live everyday
Because I haven't changed enough in my dad's eyes and he calls me a crazy person
Because I can't fuck up and admit I was wrong without being told that I should be sorry because I'm inconveniencing everyone
Because my dad won't let the past go and continues to talk shit about my mom
Because I would rather die than try to continuously fix things that wont ever be fixed no matter how hard I try
Because I'm so fucking sorry that I just couldn't handle it
Because I can't handle this because I can't keep fighting
I know how fucked up it is to apologize but I really am sorry. not to everyone just the few that really did try.
Most of the choices I made were my fault and mine alone, and that's really why I am where I am now. My shitty life choices. Relationships I made with unhealthy friends. Getting myself stuck in an abusive relationship and not leaving before too much damage had been done. Becoming a toxic person. I'm scared of getting close to anyone and I don't trust anyone and that's my fault. That's something that I would have to deal with
I don't know what I'm doing or why i even started writing this in the first place.Nothing is ever going to get better and the more I fight the more I realize I can't do this. I don't hate anyone and i hope nobody hates me but if you do I understand why. I didn't have it bad. Everything was pretty good so I don't get why I felt so bad all the time. I'm not crazy. Everything is getting all blurred and I'm tired. Physically mentally emotionally. I told my dad I'm done. I told him I felt like a burden and I dont want to feel like it anymore. He changed when he heard that. WHy do I have to be in so much pain for him to act kinder and softer? Nothing matters anymore. Im done
Why do our dads fail us? It affects us different than mothers
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Dead Meat
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,151
I'm sorry that you are going through this. Some people can just be so cruel. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are in so much pain. I understand that it can be a dreadful feeling knowing that things will never get better. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Dead Meat and Wrennie

Similar threads

harmunee
Replies
6
Views
275
Suicide Discussion
harmunee
harmunee
harmunee
Replies
4
Views
125
Recovery
harmunee
harmunee
cookiencream
Replies
7
Views
261
Suicide Discussion
wine is fine but
W
A
Replies
2
Views
260
Suicide Discussion
unluckysadness
unluckysadness
orbit
Replies
1
Views
203
Suicide Discussion
looking4partner
L