CTB with your loving parents alive?

[Notabadguy]

I'm 39. I don't live with my parents, but they are the emotional mainstays of my life. They are very good, caring people. They'd be devastated. I think that it'd be the end of their lives. They don't deserve that. I'm depressed. I don't have invincible reasons to CTB. But I feel myself at a dead-end. I suppose it's, at least, partially, a rational CTB. I think that CTB is a personal matter. But I also think that that's cold, especially if your reasons are not invincible. If I had N or the Debreather was launched, and proved as reliable, I'd CTB.

What do you think?

 

[jgm63]

Sadly, there are no simple answers to this, and only you can really arrive at the answer.....

 

[Thebuddhacel]

My mom doesn't deserves this too but I don't have a choice. Or I will suffer until she dies or she will suffer when I ctb.

 

[Sunshine]

Same. I wonder what is the most gentle way to pull this off for loving parents? CTBing in a Hotel and have the police ring at their door... or?

 

[suffocatingseraphim]

It's a difficult situation to be in, without a doubt. It's hard thinking of how their responses may play out in any scenario, my most difficult thought is of my mom or dad finding my body. Or having to identify it post CTB, and how that'd sit with them for the rest of their lives.
I feel like it's difficult to fight the survival instincts that reside in us as humans, but, at a certain point, our decision to end our suffering is our own. It's a painful scenario to be in.
How long do we need to suffer in our lives, to spare others of future grief? It's hard to say.
My parents are anchors in my life, too. They're both incredibly loving, compassionate individuals, and while my dad has my step mom and his family to confide in, my mom only has me. She doesn't have a partner, only her mom and dad, and my sister. I know it would obliterate her if I decided to go.
But, my parents have seen me through two previous attempts to CTB, so I think they can at least somewhat see the scope of the situation.

It's never easy to establish a fully rational CTB when you have people in your circle that you care for, who may care for you in turn. I can empathize with the pain of your situation, and I hope that you can find some peace of mind. Sending my love <3

 

[theguineapigking]

I do completely understand you.


I'm 21 and live at home. I have my parents, younger brother, 3 sisters one of whom is 3. They're my loving family that has held me back from ending it. But I can't live for the sake of others. I just can't.

I feel that you have no obligation to live simply for the sake of others(if you're a parent it's more complex than that). But that is entirely up to you to decide, however.


I personally feel so terrible knowing that my family will mourn me. But existing in this shit society is not something I can do, on top of my physical medical issues and anxiety. Yet, I too, feel conflicted whether to stay or go, even though I can't simply live for the sake of others being happy that I'm alive.




I just wanted to let you know that I feel what you mean. My best advice would be to think long and hard about this. Don't rush into anything. If one day you feel extra suicidal, please hold off to make sure it's what you really want. It's one thing to rush into it when survival instinct is what's holding you back, but it's another thing to rush into it when it's doubt that's holding you back.



I sincerely with you the best in the meantime.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm 39. I don't live with my parents, but they are the emotional mainstays of my life. They are very good, caring people. They'd be devastated. I think that it'd be the end of their lives. They don't deserve that. I'm depressed. I don't have invincible reasons to CTB. But I feel myself at a dead-end. I suppose it's, at least, partially, a rational CTB. I think that CTB is a personal matter. But I also think that that's cold, especially if your reasons are not invincible. If I had N or the Debreather was launched, and proved as reliable, I'd CTB.

What do you think?

I'm in the same situation ... I want to end it but it would devastate my parents also. My parents are religious so that makes it even worse.
I don't have an answer for you... I'm sorry. There is no way to minimize their pain. That is why I wish I could be killed in a car accident or Corona or something that they didn't know I chose to CTB.

 

[Dewdmael]

I'm in the same situation too! I'm fucking distraught because one of the reasons I want to CTB is because I don't want to watch my momma and daddy die.

Once they're gone, I'm REALLY alone. I suppose that's going to be God's fuck you to me for the masturbation I've done, the drugs, and cursing the holy spirit.

Brother, I am in hell already. I'm so distraught.