Thanks. Feel like I'm derailing. But the way they handled me after encouraging me to open up about something that was hard left me dissociated and depressed more than ever. I think proper term for that is containment, they didn't contain me, but got scared in the worst moment. Explanation was that they are human as well, which I do understand, but I expected to feel safe and that was kind of my fault. They wanted to fix it with meds, when that was the proposed solution it really repulsed me from therapy. They did apologise later, but it didn't really mean much to me.
It was psychodynamic/analytic at times, but I don't think it's to do with type of therapy.
I suck at expressing this, hope it makes a tiny bit sense at least.