Discussion Ctb when you have pets...

[W’ren]

To start, i have secured a place for my dog for when i'm gone- and tomorrow i'm talking to an acquaintance about my fish... My Plan is to CTB in early 2021 but i've been thinking about these beloved creatures of mine.

Now i'm not so concerned for the fish tbh. He'll get over it. Zero question. My buddy will take him i'm sure.

But my dog...

Part of me feels i owe it to him to live as long as he does, then ctb; Another part of me feels that if he understood my physical and mental struggle and agony, he'd mix up the sn for me and stand guard while i drank it.

In my case, my dog is older- but a good loving home with people he is very familiar with is guaranteed.

He does have separation anxiety though.

Selfishly i think he'd get over it given enough time without sight, sound or smell of me. When i think that i come down on myself for surmising things how i want them to be, not how they will realistically pan out I end up feeling worse about everything than i already do every time i contemplate ctb.

I want the best for my dog- but i'm dying in my skin... ctb would just show on the outside what's happened i

Thoughts? CTB while my dog is still here? Or wait out his lifetime... which could be a few months... or could be a year or two.

I honestly don't think i can wait a year or two.

So Conflicted. :-(

 

[marcusuk63]

it`s hard and i'm in the same position , my little dog loves her home and me and i know what she likes, mainly sleeping on me , i have sent her to my ex`s (as test runs ) who fosters frenchies and bulldogs and she tells me she is fine and happy and sends me photos .
as i have adopted dogs all my life i know they soon forget and settle with new owners quickly .
However when she comes back to mine for several hours i can tell she isn't happy that i sent her to a loud chaotic house .
Then again i look after my younger brothers Bulldog who hates other dogs and most people but loves coming to mine and he is properly spoilt he i like their child but they went to america for a week this year and when they got back to collect him he didnt bat an eyelid at them when they came in and wouldn't even go to them , they had to carry him out lol

 

[MindFog]

It's hard to choose between outliving you pet and our suicidal impulse, even it's obvious that we should do the former (as responsible owners). Its almost the same with being a suicidal parent (but to a lesser extent).

Sometimes i shamefully think of my cats as animals, they'll be ok as long as someone feeds them. I know that's not the case though. They're family to me and even they can be jerks, I know that me leaving would affect them. I try to ignore thinking about this and just make sure that if i do ctb, they'll be in good hands.

I cannot tell you to wait because i dont know how much you're suffering. If i were ignorant, i would tell you to give him up already. Spare him the suffering. I cant advise you that cause i wouldnt do it myself. I want to hold my cats for as long as i'm alive.

Sometimes depression rears it ugly head. It makes me wish i never had my cats, just so that i'll be free to go. All i can now is love your dog for as long as you think you can stay. The idea of suicide itself is already selfish, if you're afraid to being one, it'll just push the argument to not ctbing at all. I hope we find peace.

 

[W’ren]

Oh your dogs are beautiful!!

I would hope that my dog would forget.

I don't want to exaggerate my importance at all. But when someone else takes his leash, he struggles to stay with me- he resists moving to the point that he physically lunges back towards me with all his strength as he is led away... this causes issues as where i am, the vets office has covid protocols that say you need to stay in your car and only your dog go into the building to be treated. Gah! My dog won't go in. We can't get him in without me- so the vet treats him outside on the lawn!!

 

[MindFog]

But when someone else takes his leash, he struggles to stay with me- he resists moving to the point that he physically lunges back towards me with all his strength as he is led away...

Ma'am your dog loves you a bit too much. He sounds so sweet.

 

[Essence]

I knew I would never leave my best mate ( my dog ). He transitioned last November. I am free now to join him when the time is right.

 

[W’ren]

Sometimes depression rears it ugly head. It makes me wish i never had my cats, just so that i'll be free to go. All i can now is love your dog for as long as you think you can stay. The idea of suicide itself is already selfish, if you're afraid to being one, it'll just push the argument to not ctbing at all. I hope we find peace.

I hope we find peace as well.

Could you please clarify for me, your sentence "if you're afraid to being one, it'll just push the point to not ctbing at all" I'm not understanding it, and i really would like to.

My dog and i are so close my vet calls it "an unusual bond". He is my soul dog and my best friend, and i love him. I've gone above and beyond in his life- and he has given me companionship and unconditional love... So simple, yet so much. His loyalty and love keeps me here i think... (that and seeing the kids at x mas...)

But so much pulls me away. The physical pain is almost unbearable- the anxiety and emotional toll of life- and my psych disorders- and just general emotional pain- also so difficult to bear- and to have to bear it alone with my wish to ctb a total secret, my depression clearly visible yet ignored- i just can't. :(

 

[_Kaira_]

I had cats and a dog I was forced to leave behind with someone I knew back in the state I used to live in.
It was really difficult, but I had to escape. I sadly couldn't bring them with me.

I currently have 3 pet mice. Love them, but even they have short lifespans.
They'll be gone in the next year or so, if I'm still here. If not, well, I know they'll be ok in the hands I leave them behind.

 

[W’ren]

I had cats and a dog I was forced to leave behind with someone I knew back in the state I used to live in.
It was really difficult, but I had to escape. I sadly couldn't bring them with me.

So sorry to hear! That is so hard. I can relate. (((Hugs)))

I am so glad you were able to escape.

 

[MindFog]

I hope we find peace as well.

Could you please clarify for me, your sentence "if you're afraid to being one, it'll just push the point to not ctbing at all" I'm not understanding it, and i really would like to.

My dog and i are so close my vet calls it "an unusual bond". He is my soul dog and my best friend, and i love him. I've gone above and beyond in his life- and he has given me companionship and unconditional love... So simple, yet so much. His loyalty and love keeps me here i think...

But so much pulls me away. The physical pain is almost unbearable- the anxiety and emotional toll of life- and my psych disorders- and just general emotional pain- also so difficult to bear- and to have to bear it alone with my wish to ctb a total secret, my depression clearly visible yet ignored- i just can't. :(

Oh its more of if you're afraid of being selfish, then committing ctb wouldnt even make sense since the suicide itself is inherently selfish IMO. Being concerned with this will only reach to the conclusion that you should not ctb if you dont want to be selfish at all. It's just that in our cases, ctb seems like the only option. We should accept that we're doing this for ourselves.

Yeah, i feel like my cats prolonged my life too. I'm lowkey jealous with your strong bond. I wish my cats are like that. I feel like they only like me because i have food lol. Pet him for me will you?

 

[marcusuk63]

On a sad , or sadder note , I am involved is setting up a local large music festival with 400 bands and one of the top local groups and lead singer had a Bulldog , Barney, who was his world and went everywhere with him and was known throughout the industry ,

It quite literally broke his heart when he became terminally ill and was going to have to be put down , he stressed so much that he had a fatal heart attack alone at only 36 , he was buried with his dog ... make me cry every time i think of them both .

We have named a marquee after him though

 

[W’ren]

Oh its more of if you're afraid of being selfish, then committing ctb wouldnt even make sense since the suicide itself is inherently selfish IMO. Being concerned with this will only reach to the conclusion that you should not ctb if you dont want to be selfish at all. It's just that in our cases, ctb seems like the only option. We should accept that we're doing this for ourselves.

Ok yes, I understand. Thank you for clarifying. :-) Good point- Acceptance of being selfish is something i'm good with sometimes and not so good with at other tim


Yeah, i feel like my cats prolonged my life too. I'm lowkey jealous with your strong bond. I wish my cats are like that. I feel like they only like me because i have food lol. Pet him for me will you?

Ah, yes, my boy eats my food with his eyes too. Have a snack in your hand and he'll follow you almost anywhere. Lol.
Consider him pet.


@marcusuk63 that is such a sad story. Yet it's beautiful at the same time in a strange sort of way.

On another note, awesome that you set up music festivals!! That must be so much fun. I enjoy music- you must get exposed to a lot of different kinds of music! I was "security" at a local large music festival here years ago and seriously i was not fierce looking or imposing enough to be security. (Picture little anime girl saying "please stop smoking that on the property, sir..." LOL!! I'm much older now- but the very idea of me as security still makes me lol.

 

[mathieu]

I struggle with this too. My pomeranian is very attached to me. He's my baby. I often listen to Con Onor Muore from Madama Butterfly where she's singing to her son before she takes her own life and think of me and my dog lol. It's heartbreaking.

 

[W’ren]

I struggle with this too. My pomeranian is very attached to me. He's my baby. I often listen to Con Onor Muore from Madama Butterfly where she's singing to her son before she takes her own life and think of me and my dog lol. It's heartbreaking.

Aw, your pomeranian sounds like such a sweetheart!

I'm going to check out that song!

 

[Bärchen]

Lost my cat Paul yesterday, now only Berti and me is left.
When he is gone, i am free to leave too.

 

[Sherri]

If you plan that, I would try and find a forever decent home with a loving person or family hun.

 

[Deleted member 24152]

I'm worried about my dog too. Due to the worsening social phobia, I have a problem finding her a new home. But I have already written the whole procedure for my sister - how to find perfect house for my dog and what conditions they should meet, I also wrote an adoption contract. It's hard for me to leave my dog, but I don't meet his requirements, she's a sports dog and has the potential to be fulfilled, for example at competitions. She'll be better off with someone else but I know she will miss.

 

[Deleted member 20852]

I feel your pain I'm in a similar position. I'm choosing to outlive my dog. I've lived for years for her, she's over 16 years now. I feel like I owe it to her to stay and see her life to the end even though I want nothing more than to leave this world.
My promise with my dog was I live til she dies in the hope things get better and if they don't and I still want to go, I can go as soon as she has.
It's a real shame the vet can't put us down together when her time comes.
The choice is yours I don't know what your situation is or how much pain you are in so I can't say whether I think you should stay or go. Dogs are very adaptable but I have no doubt your dog would miss you if you left. But then again if want to go, I think as long as you have a good home guaranteed and maybe leave them some money to care for them, it would be understandable if you choose to leave.
It's a tough decision. I'm sorry you are in a position where you have to make this choice.

 

[W’ren]

I feel your pain I'm in a similar position. I'm choosing to outlive my dog. I've lived for years for her, she's over 16 years now. I feel like I owe it to her to stay and see her life to the end even though I want nothing more than to leave this world.
My promise with my dog was I live til she dies in the hope things get better and if they don't and I still want to go, I can go as soon as she has.
It's a real shame the vet can't put us down together when her time comes.
The choice is yours I don't know what your situation is or how much pain you are in so I can't say whether I think you should stay or go. Dogs are very adaptable but I have no doubt your dog would miss you if you left. But then again if want to go, I think as long as you have a good home guaranteed and maybe leave them some money to care for them, it would be understandable if you choose to leave.
It's a tough decision. I'm sorry you are in a position where you have to make this choice.

I am sorry you are in a similar position.
I will put some money aside- and when i decide to go i'll buy extra food and medecine for my boy- a cushion for him. Thank you, i hadn't thought of that.
It is such an agonizing decision- some days i can get an errand or two done then it wipes me out for a few more days- other times i can't do anything. I won't get into the social anxiety etc etc mental illness diagnoses and physical issues- suffice to say that this is not life- i am simply existing... barely. It is not a happy existence. :-(

I'm sad that so many find themselves in a similar position- it is such a difficult decision. Making a plan for your beloved pet in your will is a good thing to do @Ofelia17 , it shields your loved one from ending up alone and unloved... I've left instructions too.

 

[RepressedMind]

I think it would be cruel to die while you have a dog, because it could hurt the dog a lot.

 

[W’ren]

I think it would be cruel to die while you have a dog, because it could hurt the dog a lot.

Thank you for telling me- this is one of my worries. My dog is so special to me.

My life is worthless.

His life means the world...

 

[AutoTap]

It's up to you. But if my dog had separation anxiety I would wait

 

[Nelaaaaa]

Honestly my dogs are the reasons why I keep fighting with myself about CTB. My parents have told me of how they get when I sleepover my friends house. It broke my heart so I don't do it anymore. My oldest one is 11 and the other one is three. But you can say that I'm closest to the older one since she was there when my depression first started when I was 15. I hate thinking about leaving them. It makes me feel so much pain.

 

[virginiawoolf86]

I've been thinking about this with my cat. She's been with me through thick and thin; my baby bean. I always said I wanted her to outlive me, but I didn't think it would be this soon. I know she'll be in good hands when I'm gone, but I can't help but cry, hug her everyday and apologize for what I know is soon to come for me. I never wanted it to come to this.

That being said, I'm sorry for what you're going through in all regards. It isn't easy to come to the conclusion to CTB and leave your pets. I hope you're able to find your babies a good home for whenever you decide to transition. It's thoughtful of you to consider their well being.

 

[AutoTap]

Honestly my dogs are the reasons why I keep fighting with myself about CTB. My parents have told me of how they get when I sleepover my friends house. It broke my heart so I don't do it anymore. My oldest one is 11 and the other one is three. But you can say that I'm closest to the older one since she was there when my depression first started when I was 15. I hate thinking about leaving them. It makes me feel so much pain.

Same here there is no way I'm going to leave my doggies behind unless it truly reaches break point

 

[W’ren]

Honestly my dogs are the reasons why I keep fighting with myself about CTB. My parents have told me of how they get when I sleepover my friends house. It broke my heart so I don't do it anymore. My oldest one is 11 and the other one is three. But you can say that I'm closest to the older one since she was there when my depression first started when I was 15. I hate thinking about leaving them. It makes me feel so much pain.

I hear you, and i feel pain about leaving my boy too. (((Hugs))) A couple of months back i probably wouldn't have even considered leaving him but now there is an overload every which way.
At the same time, he is my baby. I hate thinking about leaving him.
This is where the conflict arises and my brain does a thing :-(

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

I hope we find peace as well.

Could you please clarify for me, your sentence "if you're afraid to being one, it'll just push the point to not ctbing at all" I'm not understanding it, and i really would like to.

My dog and i are so close my vet calls it "an unusual bond". He is my soul dog and my best friend, and i love him. I've gone above and beyond in his life- and he has given me companionship and unconditional love... So simple, yet so much. His loyalty and love keeps me here i think... (that and seeing the kids at x mas...)

But so much pulls me away. The physical pain is almost unbearable- the anxiety and emotional toll of life- and my psych disorders- and just general emotional pain- also so difficult to bear- and to have to bear it alone with my wish to ctb a total secret, my depression clearly visible yet ignored- i just can't. :(

I am with you 100 percent

 

[W’ren]

I've been thinking about this with my cat. She's been with me through thick and thin; my baby bean. I always said I wanted her to outlive me, but I didn't think it would be this soon. I know she'll be in good hands when I'm gone, but I can't help but cry, hug her everyday and apologize for what I know is soon to come for me. I never wanted it to come to this.

That being said, I'm sorry for what you're going through in all regards. It isn't easy to come to the conclusion to CTB and leave your pets. I hope you're able to find your babies a good home for whenever you decide to transition. It's thoughtful of you to consider their well being.

I'm sorry you're going through this too. CTB is never an easy decision and when pets are involved it's so much more of a difficult choice.

I have found a home for him- a friend has agreed that should anything ever happen to me, he will take him.... if my parents don't take him. So really my boy has 2 homes- i just haven't discussed it with mom

My acquaintance today said she would take in my fish should something ever happen-

It's a good thing i'm having this surgery or all my preparations would seem extremely odd.

I also love my dog up, give him tummy rubs, tell him he's the best dog in the world... tell him how much he means to me- nothing is left unsaid.
He's going deaf but he feels my pats- and my scratches and my hugs, and i believe he already knows what's in my heart even if i don't- because dogs just know. I think your cat knows how much you love her too. Cats Know- they are so wise...

Same here there is no way I'm going to leave my doggies behind unless it truly reaches break point

This is where i think i might be. I can present myself well online but irl things are falling out of step that shouldn't.
Some days i have it together and i'm like "ok i can do this, my dog and i can take on the world" but most days i'm a nonfunctional ball on my sofa afraid of making a phone call to my dr for help because i'm too anxious to actually pick up the phone and make the call-

Your dogs are lucky to have you. You seem devoted- as does everyone on this thread... everyone is so worried about their pets- everyone is so loving-

Can i just take a minute to say, that i see it happen too often that a pet is up on the internet, their owner having passed from whatever... and the poor lovely creatures have no home and the family members are putting them up for free on a free site or kijiji or something like that.

*****
Please, everyone reading this- take a moment to think of your pets- wether you are planning to ctb or not... in whatever walk of life you're in- and make some arrangement in case of the off chance something should happen to you. Don't let your pet wind up being that free dog or cat on the free sites or let your pet be passed around forever unwanted-
Just maybe have that conversation with a buddy. Your family. Put it in writing in your will. Whatever. Just ensure your sidekick has a 100% safe place should something bad occur. Peace of mind is great. Should nothing ever happen, excellent!