CTB was what I was meant to do

[yellowraincoat225]

I'm not spiritual or scientific or anything but I think in any kind of civilization or sentience life form with "free will", there will always be a certain percentage of the population that commits suicide and acts as a statistic. Literally every person fits in some kind of statistic. Maybe I was just meant to be part of that dark statistic...it makes me sad, but also peaceful.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

That's how I feel too... Like this is my fate, no matter what happens this how I die. In a way it's comforting, I control my end. Most people die wishing they still live. But our grim luxury comes with the illness which gives us our yearning for death in the first place.

 

[delacs]

I second (third) the notion of it being "fate". I've always felt driven towards CTB and darkness. I just always knew.

I never consented to life, and it didn't turn out well. I'm a burden (I say that as objectively as I can).

 

[Hollowman]

I hope I get to control my death. But every time I get in a vehicle or many other ways I risk getting in an accident and ending up a quadriplegic.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I contemplated suicide from an early age, and always had the feeling I would kill myself eventually. In hindsight I recognize that early childhood trauma planted the seed in my head, and a lifetime of stress caused by autism and other issues kept it alive.

 

[tercermundista]

I always failed at everything, I guess I have no choice.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as I see myself as only meant to cease existing and it's all I hope for anyway, I never should have suffered in this existence I always saw as a terrible, tragic mistake in the first place, existing is certainly not for me.