Ctb today

[Hollowillow]

S

Well, all failed. Had everything set up, got in the car, took the sleepers and alcohol. Was sat comfortably and relaxed, had my music playing and felt myself drifting, next thing I know, I'm being dragged out of my car by the cops and paramedics. After a week of being in hospital, I'm now home living in this fucking nightmare still. Think I need to re think my method. Fuck this stupid life

So sorry. Why found you? Smoke visible? I failed 3 partial 2 plastic bags with duct tape. Chickened out. Wish could go on halloween to celebrate it somehow. Alone in pain... Friend abandonned me... No one to zoom party supper with candy... Your idea so cool. I wish i could bbq myself & be eaten by wolves to become part of them. Best wishes. Sorry week hospital. Very hurt or psych ward?

 

[Sad_Sack]

Well, all failed. Had everything set up, got in the car, took the sleepers and alcohol. Was sat comfortably and relaxed, had my music playing and felt myself drifting, next thing I know, I'm being dragged out of my car by the cops and paramedics. After a week of being in hospital, I'm now home living in this fucking nightmare still. Think I need to re think my method. Fuck this stupid life

I don't believe in God anymore but its very hard for me to completely shake off religion. I find myself thinking from time to time that we are actually in hell and the reason suicide attempts fail is because we aren't being allowed out of it. Melodrama aside, I'm sorry all of that happened to you. Its beyond unfair.

 

[ready to go....]

S

So sorry. Why found you? Smoke visible? I failed 3 partial 2 plastic bags with duct tape. Chickened out. Wish could go on halloween to celebrate it somehow. Alone in pain... Friend abandonned me... No one to zoom party supper with candy... Your idea so cool. I wish i could bbq myself & be eaten by wolves to become part of them. Best wishes. Sorry week hospital. Very hurt or psych ward?

Not sure exactly as was just police and ambulance there when I came round. It wasn't visible as had burnt out at that point, but I left an alcohol bottle on my passenger seat, so really not sure what happened. I'm sorry to hear that :( I wanted to go with someone but the time felt right, so annoyed that it failed. Psych ward, but convinced them I was fine after a week. They gave me a load of medicines and I'm now home, sucks though, it's fucking annoying how hard it is, why are we made to suffer like this?

 

[Hollowillow]

I don't believe in God anymore but its very hard for me to completely shake off religion. I find myself thinking from time to time that we are actually in hell and the reason suicide attempts fail is because we aren't being allowed out of it. Melodrama aside, I'm sorry all of that happened to you. Its beyond unfair.

I think so too. But maybe SI is strong because agony make SI max non stop. Anxiety = adrenalin = energy boost to survive. Anxiety not disease. Superpower.

 

[almaranthine]

I'm sorry to hear how this went for you being dragged to a psych ward and all. It sounds like the place you chose to do it in just wasn't secluded enough. I didn't realize you could feasibly light up charcoals inside a car like that. I would be terrified of accidentally setting my car on fire. I imagine someone saw the car filling up with smoke and called emergency services thinking you fell asleep in your car and it was catching on fire or something? Damn, I'm sorry this happened to you. I thought you were going to attempt in a tent? Did it not work out because of the rain?

 

[ready to go....]

I'm sorry to hear how this went for you being dragged to a psych ward and all. It sounds like the place you chose to do it in just wasn't secluded enough. I didn't realize you could feasibly light up charcoals inside a car like that. I would be terrified of accidentally setting my car on fire. I imagine someone saw the car filling up with smoke and called emergency services thinking you fell asleep in your car and it was catching on fire or something? Damn, I'm sorry this happened to you. I thought you were going to attempt in a tent? Did it not work out because of the rain?

Thanks for your kind words. I set the coals to burn before placing them in my car, therefore there was only smoke before they went into the car. Possibly, but it was quite a remote area, so not sure what happened. I always planned on using my car. I had taped up all door, windows and vents, had I not of been found, it would of worked perfectly. I had to wait for the rain to stop to get the briquettes burning, but that was all fine. I thought a tent this time of year may of looked a little suspicious. Back to planning.