Help Ctb shortly before grandma's birthday?

[Mich517]

I could say that my grandmother is adored person. She is actually the only person who care about me in at least minimal way. She will be 90 soon. On one hand I wish her all the best and I would be glad if she reach her 90's birthday and if her birthday party be good but on the other hand my days with anhedonia are quite unbearable and I would like to do suicide attempt as soon as it's possible. I have possibility only sometimes cause these are the days when my father is at work at night. What more my grandma actually doesn't care very much about her birthday as I know her.
What do you think? Should I wait over a two weeks with ctb or simply don't give a shit?

 

[Jean4]

This Is just my opinion. If you need to ask, it isn't the right time.

 

[Rachel74]

This Is just my opinion. If you need to ask, it isn't the right time.

This

 

[Sweet emotion]

This is something only you can decide. And what is Anhedonia? I've never heard of that. I was thinking about the same thing about my Nonno. Grandfather is Italian. She loves me more than anyone in the world. More than his own kids. His birthday is on November 7th and I was going to wait until the 10th. But I may go sooner. I don't think it would matter to him because he doesn't think birthdays are anything special. Just another day. He feels the same about all holidays. It wouldn't matter to him what day I chose.

 

[Jean4]

This is something only you can decide. And what is Anhedonia? I've never heard of that. I was thinking about the same thing about my Nonno. Grandfather is Italian. She loves me more than anyone in the world. More than his own kids. His birthday is on November 7th and I was going to wait until the 10th. But I may go sooner. I don't think it would matter to him because he doesn't think birthdays are anything special. Just another day. He feels the same about all holidays. It wouldn't matter to him what day I chose.

Anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure. It is a symptom generally of depression and other mental illness.

 

[WhiteDespair]

My Grandmother died on my Father's birthday. Please try to avoid doing that. You'll forever taint that day and, if they're neutral toward their birthdays, they'll associate their birthdays negatively.

 

[iamfineha]

Its so considerate of you to think about this. Maybe wait over 2 weeks ? If u died before her birthday then probably no one will be in the mood for celebration at her party.

If my grandmom were still alive i would try to hold on a little bit longer for her...