Discussion Ctb scenarios

[notsadtogo]

Does anybody else envision their ctb?
I have 2 thoughts/ways in which I go.
I travel to work by motorbike listening to music, I'd tell myself that if a particular artist came on and and artic was coming the other way I would ride into it. This so far has never happened. The opportunity to just crash head on happens daily but I've set myself this ludicrous stipulation. The second is equally ridiculous where as I work outdoors I come across somebody about to hang themselves and I join them and we do it together.
This is how I found this site, the recent BBC article about the partners thread. I always thought of suicide as a lonely end but now know you don't have to be on your own at the end.
I don't know when it will happen but already I've found comfort here knowing I'm not alone in my thoughts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I always imagine having access to a peaceful, painless poison which brings me a death like never waking again, I imagine just falling asleep permanently and finally being free from all the suffering this cruel, torturous existence has caused me. It's so painful how this isn't the reality and instead I continue to suffer in this existence I never would have chose and would never wish for no matter what.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Every time I drink water, I imagine the last time I will drink water with SN in.

I used to imagine what it woukd feel like to jump into a river when I went passed it although, it's not a method I seriously considered.