Ctb plan anticipated?

[Szs33]

Im new here, but have been around for some weeks now.

So this is what happened today and Im very confused and anxious. I had a plan to ctb by hanging outside the house. I have a perfect place to do it right, without becoming suspicious for my parents and neighbors. But today this scenario changed drastically. Some people bought the area behind my house and started building something and from what I understood this thing will be a huge and long construction. And this is very close to the place I will ctb, and from now on it will be very hard to be there without been seeing during the day.

Sorry, this is just something that changed my plans. I was in control and now Im not. It feels like I have to force myself to choose doing it now or being impossible to do it later without being watched.

 

[Ben]

It's a shame you lost your planned spot. I believe you can find another, you still have control. Don't let hurdles convince you there are no more options. Good luck!

 

[Szs33]

Thanks for the support, I dont know what to do. I wont deny it, I needed more time to finally make it happen. Until now I had the time to prepare myself and do it when prepared to go and not hesitate. I have a very strong survival instinct, unfortunelly. Want to die every day since I was 15 and now I am building the confidence to do it. I will try do it this weekend and if I fail on doing it I will have to choose another way.

 

[Ben]

Thanks for the support, I dont know what to do. I wont deny it, I needed more time to finally make it happen. Until now I had the time to prepare myself and do it when prepared to go and not hesitate. I have a very strong survival instinct, unfortunelly. Want to die every day since I was 15 and now I am building the confidence to do it. I will try do it this weekend and if I fail on doing it I will have to choose another way.

No problem:) If you have a strong survival instinct then it will really pay off if you prepare ahead of time. Do you have to be gone by a upcoming date? Why don't you have time to prepare another spot or another method?

 

[Szs33]

No problem:) If you have a strong survival instinct then it will really pay off if you prepare ahead of time. Do you have to be gone by a upcoming date? Why don't you have time to prepare another spot or another method?

Tbh my only reason to ctb during the next days is fear of another relapse. I know I wont be strong enough to not use it and I know how bad I will fell later. My family cant suffer anymore and my depression is getting worse this week. I just feel that all the elements are here for me having the courage to try it. Nothing will be changed and my life has been on a repeated cicle for more than I can remember. Hanging is the only method I can think about it atm. The others I think about, gun and fentanyl od, is not something I can get my hands at.

 

[Ben]

Tbh my only reason to ctb during the next days is fear of another relapse. I know I wont be strong enough to not use it and I know how bad I will fell later. My family cant suffer anymore and my depression is getting worse this week. I just feel that all the elements are here for me having the courage to try it. Nothing will be changed and my life has been on a repeated cicle for more than I can remember. Hanging is the only method I can think about it atm. The others I think about, gun and fentanyl od, is not something I can get my hands at.

I understand. If staying sober is that important to you, I respect the decision to want to CTB before you relapse. There are many other options. Have a read through the methods on this site if you haven't already.

 

[MEoDP]

Tbh my only reason to ctb during the next days is fear of another relapse. I know I wont be strong enough to not use it and I know how bad I will fell later. My family cant suffer anymore and my depression is getting worse this week. I just feel that all the elements are here for me having the courage to try it. Nothing will be changed and my life has been on a repeated cicle for more than I can remember. Hanging is the only method I can think about it atm. The others I think about, gun and fentanyl od, is not something I can get my hands at.

If you have access to the drug heroin(I assume you have access to a dealer if you can attain your drug of choice),you can trying overdosing on that. Unless that happens to be your drug of choice and your tolerance is too high(no pun intended)at this point to be effective.

just my 2 cents.

 

[Szs33]

If you have access to the drug heroin(I assume you have access to a dealer if you can attain your drug of choice),you can trying overdosing on that. Unless that happens to be your drug of choice and your tolerance is too high(no pun intended)at this point to be effective.

just my 2 cents.

My dealer has not access to heroin. Im in south america, the big thing here is crack, cocaine and weed. Its something cultural from this side of America but injected drugs are not very commom. But if I could get some it would be easy enough to overdose on it as I never used before, zero tolerance.

 

[Szs33]

I understand. If staying sober is that important to you, I respect the decision to want to CTB before you relapse. There are many other options. Have a read through the methods on this site if you haven't already.

Yeah, it is important. Im depressed and devasted for the years of being addicted. I have another issues aswell, stuff that made me start using in the first place, to numb my feelings. Those feelings are something I wont be able to deal it and I know its better to stop the suffering.