F
Final Escape
I’ve been here too long
- Jul 8, 2018
- 4,348
Does anybody suffer with untreated bpd and this is what's pushing u to ctb? I think I can qualify for some treatment through Medicaid although I'm not convinced I'll be able to get consistent enough access because they limit what treatment and how much because it's state funded mental health.
I watched some videos on YouTube about it today and this lady said the treatment is primarily only affordable and accessible to the rich. I watched them discuss that some people can be born highly sensitive or have issues with regulating themselves but they weren't from abusive homes which makes it easier to treat in those cases.
In my case I'd have to deal with the trauma plus the bpd so I'm just like fuck I feel so hopeless. I'm already pretty old and feel like im more bitter about even entering treatment of any kind because once u hit middle age your like fuck my life has basically been destroyed and what's next I'll finally be functional as an old person? Great I needed the help b4 my whole life passed me by not now. Who cares when ure like old and ure getting ready to be a drain on this system anyway lol!
I don't mean to make it sound like because I'm older that I have no value as a human being, or that I think this way of old people. It's just that, well imagine if u had suffered miserably through your youth, and this could have been identified and treated sooner it's tough to feel like u have any future in your older years when the first half has been so wasted and u failed in relationships, family, employment, everything basically.
I watched some videos on YouTube about it today and this lady said the treatment is primarily only affordable and accessible to the rich. I watched them discuss that some people can be born highly sensitive or have issues with regulating themselves but they weren't from abusive homes which makes it easier to treat in those cases.
In my case I'd have to deal with the trauma plus the bpd so I'm just like fuck I feel so hopeless. I'm already pretty old and feel like im more bitter about even entering treatment of any kind because once u hit middle age your like fuck my life has basically been destroyed and what's next I'll finally be functional as an old person? Great I needed the help b4 my whole life passed me by not now. Who cares when ure like old and ure getting ready to be a drain on this system anyway lol!
I don't mean to make it sound like because I'm older that I have no value as a human being, or that I think this way of old people. It's just that, well imagine if u had suffered miserably through your youth, and this could have been identified and treated sooner it's tough to feel like u have any future in your older years when the first half has been so wasted and u failed in relationships, family, employment, everything basically.
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