Going to CTB on Monday/Tuesday. Got the SN and I'm done. This is my last weekend and making sure it's good with plenty of alcohol and nothing to care about. Wish life could have been different but I'm always going to be alone. I pick the wrong people and then suffer. I've tried so hard for so long and it's only going to get worse so I'll bow out now and go as peacefully as possible. Appreciate any support available to get my over the mountain that awaits in the next few days. Love to everyone who keeps fighting and to those who no longer can. X
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Alwaysbadtime
Enlightened
- Jun 28, 2021
- 1,158
I hope you can do it if that's what you want. I relate to things not getting better...and being alone. I have sn...but am stalling. I want to get n but can't figure out the fucking horrible process of ordering it. What are you drinking for fun? I have vodka and spicy tomato juice. I may drink some. How much will you take? Are you going to do a planned regimne like some people do to prepare for it?
hahabye
always say never
- Sep 14, 2019
- 314
Sorry you're going through this...
I am not even that alone in life, yet I'm also catching the bus on the night from Monday to Tuesday.
Currently going through a lot emotionally, the idea that I'm going to seize to exist soon is as relieving as it is painful.
How are you feeling?
I am not even that alone in life, yet I'm also catching the bus on the night from Monday to Tuesday.
Currently going through a lot emotionally, the idea that I'm going to seize to exist soon is as relieving as it is painful.
How are you feeling?
PaxAmerica
Just Passing
- Apr 15, 2021
- 202
I am sitting in bed typing wondering whether to go garden and try partial
hahabye
always say never
- Sep 14, 2019
- 314
All the thinking and effort we have to put into ending our lives can be so excruciating. I hope you're feeling alrigth, considering
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 42,470
This life really can be cruel, it can be hard to carry on when you are in a hopeless situation. If this is the option you want then I wish you peace.
I've been on various spirits all weekend. Going to try as far as practical to follow the suggested for SN - with hours without food. I've got 50mg so going to half it. Just hope it dissolves ok in 50ml of water - because it's actually very little water which surprised me when I realised. I haven't tested the SN yet and undecided over whether or not to do that, I guess I should.
I sway between feeling ready and content with the plan, and then feeling conflicted. I think perhaps it'll be like that until the end. What have you planned for ctb?
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hahabye
always say never
- Sep 14, 2019
- 314
I feel exactly the same way. I hope we both can find peace in our last conscious moments.
I'm going to ctb in 23h with N.
Currently throwing away all of my stuff, it really helps to turn off my thoughts and focus on the task.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 10,398
Sorry to see you go. I wish you peace and love. Rest well.
I don't usually add to much in someone's goodbye thread, not sure if this is your actual one or if you will make another. I don't want to make someone's goodbye thread about me. So if it is I apologise.
I just wanted to let you know I have been there a few times and couldn't go through with it.
I don't care if fixthe26 complains I didn't try to stop you. Like I could anyway.
Safe travels friend.
