Ctb is going to happen. I sealed my fate.

[SMmetalhead36]

I'm sick of everything. I try to be happy, but I feel as if I'm not good enough for anything. On top of that, I hate it here.

 

[Chancerator]

idk, I can really relate to this today, and if you're feeling anything like I'm feeling, then all i can say is: I'm so sorry...this sucks....and you don't deserve to feel this way, and I'm starting to get a little pissed off that it always seems like the people who deserve to suffer LEAST somehow get rewarded with absolute hell.

Idk. I've recently done a huge amount of work in therapy after being randomly and brutally targeted/defamed by someone with a good deal of clout in my community...and I took the "high road".... i saw it as a 'growth opportunity'....and i worked on myself... I did therapy...i channeled my trauma into art...and i actually did got "mentally healthier" as a result....but im still here completely alone...with no real friends
...with no job and no prospects (and, honestly, with a mental illness that makes me mostly unable to work a 'regular job')....with a savings account that is one month away from being completely dry....and with a family who still supports a man who started molesting me before i turned three (and somehow they still blame ME for the brokenness in our family).

And, it's like: I have a master's degree, I go to therapy twice a week, I give my time and energy to other people, im funny, im generous, im kind, im humble, i do fucking affirmations and shit, and i think I'm mostly easy on the eyes. But still: nothing. It's like I have leprosy. People either avoid me like the plague, or they actively seek to do me harm.

I don't understand this place....I don't fit in here....and I would very much like to leave, please.

(Sorry, that was all probably TMI. basically: I want to say sorry for all the people in your life who are too selfish to tell you themselves. my heart goes out to you. my heart goes out to us all.)

 

[Redacted24]

One thing I've noticed in my year on this site is just how many amazing people are here. Caring, empathetic, smart, supportive. There are people with artistic gifts, authors, all sorts of creative.
And it seems that the folks on here care about each other, and often care about people in their lives.

It also seems that many are suffering from lack of proper care and compassion for any number of reasons, but being savaged by other humans (wolves) is a frequent theme. We've been abused in so many ways and it's hard to recover from that.

So we struggle.

That's the power of being in this community.
To some degree or another, we get it.
That makes the struggle a little less lonely.
It does for me at least.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

One thing I've noticed in my year on this site is just how many amazing people are here. Caring, empathetic, smart, supportive. There are people with artistic gifts, authors, all sorts of creative.
And it seems that the folks on here care about each other, and often care about people in their lives.

It also seems that many are suffering from lack of proper care and compassion for any number of reasons, but being savaged by other humans (wolves) is a frequent theme. We've been abused in so many ways and it's hard to recover from that.

So we struggle.

That's the power of being in this community.
To some degree or another, we get it.
That makes the struggle a little less lonely.
It does for me at least.

Beautifully said

 

[SMmetalhead36]

idk, I can really relate to this today, and if you're feeling anything like I'm feeling, then all i can say is: I'm so sorry...this sucks....and you don't deserve to feel this way, and I'm starting to get a little pissed off that it always seems like the people who deserve to suffer LEAST somehow get rewarded with absolute hell.

Idk. I've recently done a huge amount of work in therapy after being randomly and brutally targeted/defamed by someone with a good deal of clout in my community...and I took the "high road".... i saw it as a 'growth opportunity'....and i worked on myself... I did therapy...i channeled my trauma into art...and i actually did got "mentally healthier" as a result....but im still here completely alone...with no real friends
...with no job and no prospects (and, honestly, with a mental illness that makes me mostly unable to work a 'regular job')....with a savings account that is one month away from being completely dry....and with a family who still supports a man who started molesting me before i turned three (and somehow they still blame ME for the brokenness in our family).

And, it's like: I have a master's degree, I go to therapy twice a week, I give my time and energy to other people, im funny, im generous, im kind, im humble, i do fucking affirmations and shit, and i think I'm mostly easy on the eyes. But still: nothing. It's like I have leprosy. People either avoid me like the plague, or they actively seek to do me harm.

I don't understand this place....I don't fit in here....and I would very much like to leave, please.

(Sorry, that was all probably TMI. basically: I want to say sorry for all the people in your life who are too selfish to tell you themselves. my heart goes out to you. my heart goes out to us all.)

I truly get it.

 

[wanttoctbnow]

I feel your pain the only thing that gives me relief is that I will soon end it all

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I also feel really tired of it all but anyway I hope that you find peace.