Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
I know it's a dumb motive to kill yourself but I missing some much a friend of mine that never want to talk me again. A girl that supposed to be my best female friend. She talked to me every day...
I have shame for want to die because this.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Journeytoletgo, Hopeless_soul, Redt2go and 2 others
_milo

_milo

Member
Mar 16, 2019
65
You should never look for a reason to live or die in other people. It only ever breeds disappointment.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Journeytoletgo, Koal, brighter and 1 other person
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,797
While that wouldn't be my reason, it could be a 'catalyst' or 'trigger' towards an existing plan (if I had one) or at the minimum, a factor in my decision, but never really my sole reason for ctb'ing. However, it's your body and your life so you can ctb for whatever reason or cause that is personal to you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lost
WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,449
This seems like a wound that time will heal IMO.
 
deathplease

deathplease

waiting to die
Feb 16, 2019
124
I'm ctbing because I lost my infant son a few months ago. I want to be with my baby boy again.
 
N

nanimonoka

not on this site any longer
Feb 22, 2019
16
I like to think, "If I could do it once...there's a chance I could do it again." (And on that note, I also like to think I could avoid making the same mistakes, too)
It's true you'll never find someone like the friend you lost. It doesn't need to be exactly the same to be just as good, though.

Those two things helped me reframe similar situations to seem less hopeless.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: elizabeth.luck
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,797
I'm ctbing because I lost my infant son a few months ago. I want to be with my baby boy again.
I'm sorry to hear that and I hope you will be able to find peace and be with your son again.
 
  • Like
Reactions: deathplease
Mort

Mort

No use to know one
Feb 15, 2019
622
Well i am not ending my life over missing sum one well sort of . Its just the icing on top of my shitty cake of life. And no matter how much i try to forget her i just cant . She was the most beautiful woman I ever seen it was not just on the out side it was what was inside her to. She was the most loving and caring woman i ever met. Onely thing was she had a BF all ready but was ok with that we were just very good friends and i could not bin more happy with that . She know i love her though but she understood and was ok with it can still fell her hugs to this day :[ . When she hug me the world seem to stop and all my worrys and stress just melted away. But the asshole that i am i ended up pushing her away and i lost her i did worst thing ever i hurt her emotionally buy saying sum stupid shit . Now i am on my own ones more all ways the same with me any thing good comes into my i mess it up. Seem to have a way of doing it its like i dont want any thing good in my life. Hate living but still trying to work out my end :(
 
  • Like
Reactions: Quinlor
Nobodysfault

Nobodysfault

"If my soul be lost, its nobodys fault but mine"
Mar 21, 2019
119
hey quinlor!
same thing happend to me on december- my best male friend (soulmate) decided to end our friendship.
i felt the exact same thing as you feel now, so dont feel ashamed for being sad or feeling like you do yet stay alive and know it will go away, youll have it better.. Missing someone is hard but is part of normal life,you need some love and support right now..

Have you ever heard of kintzugi? Its a japanese art.. When something important breaks and seems destroyed ,they glue it back together with gold.
if youre feeling broken,know that these emotinal scars do not mean you are doomed, they are proof that you're healing to be better than ever before.Breaking is healing.

Hold tight, youll get over it, i promise.
your heart WILL heal with time and will be glued with gold.

I went through the same with my friend, maybe your friend will realize she wants you back soon. Give it time.
PM me if you wanna
 
elizabeth.luck

elizabeth.luck

Eliminate your map.
Mar 10, 2019
124
Yes. My friend died when I was a kid and it's been years and I've never been the same way again. It should have been me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Quinlor and brighter
reveriewong

reveriewong

Member
Feb 22, 2019
61
I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. It's never easy to lose someone you care about.

I hope you will learn to take your power back from this person. Some people come, and all people go. It's a fact of life, and it's definitely a hard fact. This is why it's important to practice nurturing ourselves and our relationships, and to learn from our mistakes. Cherish those you love, as best you can, while also cherishing yourself as best you can in the process.

Maybe in time, you'll discover that it's not really her that you miss. Maybe it's that you had someone to talk to often, someone you could laugh with, etc. You're sure to find that again, if you open yourself to it.

I hope you take back your power, because as someone said, giving someone else that power only leads to disappointment (and pain).

Take care.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Quinlor, brighter and Nobodysfault
Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
I miss just about everyone I used to have in my life so I feel you ❤️
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hopeless_soul, Quinlor and brighter
Mort

Mort

No use to know one
Feb 15, 2019
622
I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. It's never easy to lose someone you care about.

I hope you will learn to take your power back from this person. Some people come, and all people go. It's a fact of life, and it's definitely a hard fact. This is why it's important to practice nurturing ourselves and our relationships, and to learn from our mistakes. Cherish those you love, as best you can, while also cherishing yourself as best you can in the process.

Maybe in time, you'll discover that it's not really her that you miss. Maybe it's that you had someone to talk to often, someone you could laugh with, etc. You're sure to find that again, if you open yourself to it.

I hope you take back your power, because as someone said, giving someone else that power only leads to disappointment (and pain).

Take care.
It was not untill i lost here i realise she was my sole mate . All my life i felt they was apart of me missing i try fill it with drugs alcohol and sad to say prostitutes. But none of it work it just temperley fill the space untill i found her and bingo. For the first time in my life I felt hole that i could tell her any thing and she would not judge me for it . It was so nice that could tell here any thing and she could me but in the end i mess it up as all ways. I know now i will never find any one like her ever again so for how long i got left to live i will be on my own.
 
J

jules18

Member
Mar 1, 2019
94
It's part of the reason why, but I lost my childhood best friend many years ago. He was stabbed to death while working. Another big reason is that my mother had to have a late term abortion with my older brother. I've always wanted a brother, and knowing that I have an older brother out there is a big motivator to do it, even though I don't know anything about him. Being re-united with these two people would make me very happy.
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,797
Well i am not ending my life over missing sum one well sort of . Its just the icing on top of my shitty cake of life. And no matter how much i try to forget her i just cant . She was the most beautiful woman I ever seen it was not just on the out side it was what was inside her to. She was the most loving and caring woman i ever met. Onely thing was she had a BF all ready but was ok with that we were just very good friends and i could not bin more happy with that . She know i love her though but she understood and was ok with it can still fell her hugs to this day :[ . When she hug me the world seem to stop and all my worrys and stress just melted away. But the asshole that i am i ended up pushing her away and i lost her i did worst thing ever i hurt her emotionally buy saying sum stupid shit . Now i am on my own ones more all ways the same with me any thing good comes into my i mess it up. Seem to have a way of doing it its like i dont want any thing good in my life. Hate living but still trying to work out my end :(

Ouch, that really hurts a lot. When I was a teenager I had a similar experience with someone I really liked (mostly due to hormones but no deeper connection) and then everything went to shit. I was naive back then, immature and stupid, didn't help I was socially stupid and had Aspergers. Anyways, before I went to college, I stopped having feelings for anyone and soon after I've started college, I've embraced nihilism, and later antinatalism, increased interest in topics of death, suicide, and philosophy. Mind you it wasn't just over someone, but the summation of all the shit in my life. The only things that mattered to me in life now are just pursuing my hobbies (video games and playing piano), experiencing some good vices (food, physical affection, and a few other fleeting things), securing my exit (I have my method; but I'd like to have a long term exit -- if I do live past my 30's or even 40's, or if catastrophe strikes such as illness, accidents, disasters, etc.), and maybe help fight against the bullshit society's misunderstanding of mental illness and suicide, as well as push for right to die.

It was not untill i lost here i realise she was my sole mate . All my life i felt they was apart of me missing i try fill it with drugs alcohol and sad to say prostitutes.

I'd like to at least get a prostitute or escort and experience 'sex' and romantic kissing (at least the physical aspect of it) before I ctb. I think it is something to experience before one ctb's, it is one of the mysteries in my life that I have yet to demystify. This is something that I'm working and researching on, making sure I know what I am expecting to get, not get scammed, and of course, affordable. I'm simply not into relationships and also given the climate of this day and age, it's too easy to get falsely accused of sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape, and other horrible acts, so that is one part of me that is afraid of approaching women in public.

It's part of the reason why, but I lost my childhood best friend many years ago. He was stabbed to death while working. Another big reason is that my mother had to have a late term abortion with my older brother. I've always wanted a brother, and knowing that I have an older brother out there is a big motivator to do it, even though I don't know anything about him. Being re-united with these two people would make me very happy.

Ouch, that really hurts, I'm sorry for your losses. I had quite a few losses in my life as well, two of my university professors (many years ago) passed away, one from an accident and one from natural causes. Both of them are very nice and down to Earth type of people, passionate about their subjects. Then over two years ago, one of my friends who was into music and stuff passed away in his parent's place, the cause of death unknown.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jules18
Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
Not a person, but death of my dog 2 1/2 years ago has definitely intensified my want to go
 
  • Like
Reactions: Redt2go
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
Not a dumb reason at all everyday I think about my childhood best friends who I was best friends with since daycare until about 11 years old, even if I had a healthy body I would ctb because I miss my childhood so much and especially my childhood best friend, we had so many great experiences and adventures but they are just memories that slowly fade away more over time it´s soul crushing to think about.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Redt2go
Fenty(nal)

Fenty(nal)

Tired.
Oct 18, 2018
55
You know what fuck it, I've been there OP (and I'm still there). I lost my best friend to a brain disease 9 years ago. I really want to CTB because my life drastically changed when I lost my friend, but I know my actions will cause a chain reaction of suicides.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Redt2go
silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
I understand. I lost my best friend and it took a toll on my health. It also stopped me from forming further friendships with people because I worry about the past. In a way I really do feel ok that I have lost a lot of friends. I don't want them to feel the same way I felt and I suppose they saw my deterieration and cut themselves off from me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Redt2go