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dss262

dss262

Member
Nov 23, 2021
74
This is gonna sound odd but making the serious decision to ctb tends to bring up new feelings and whatnot. Before the decision I've struggled greatly with being disappointed with myself and self hatred. When considering the methods I realized deep down, I love myself. I wanted the best for me and to improve the lives of others but in the end I don't have what it takes. I want to go peacefully as a final gift to myself. To rest, forgive myself and move on.
 
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fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
I used to feel like that, but beware that trying to ctb brings harm to yourself, and I felt great deal of anguish after trying and failing to ctb, most of the times caused by fear of death and SI. I do enjoy life atm, but It can change and than I will consider roping.
 
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BeautifulMosaics

BeautifulMosaics

Specialist
Aug 15, 2021
310
This is gonna sound odd but making the serious decision to ctb tends to bring up new feelings and whatnot. Before the decision I've struggled greatly with being disappointed with myself and self hatred. When considering the methods I realized deep down, I love myself. I wanted the best for me and to improve the lives of others but in the end I don't have what it takes. I want to go peacefully as a final gift to myself. To rest, forgive myself and move on.
Same. I get you my friend. It's quite a spiritual experience to accept you've closed the book on your life and are ready to move on in a peaceful way.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,923
In my case, I know I deserve better than this horrible life, I never asked to be here, I deserve to be at peace and be free from all suffering. I hope that before I ctb I can make peace with everything, as after all this life will soon be gone and I will not be able to experience anything anymore. I wish you the best.
 
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eternalmelancholy

eternalmelancholy

waiting for the bus
Mar 24, 2021
1,169
Suicide can be a form of self care if you know your life will continue to get worse. No one wants to admit it but some lives are just not worth living. We will all die regardless, it is just a matter of how much pain you are willing to endure before then.
 
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dss262

dss262

Member
Nov 23, 2021
74
Same. I get you my friend. It's quite a spiritual experience to accept you've closed the book on your life and are ready to move on in a peaceful way.
I've been reading Suicide by Humer and what I got from it is there is a point where living beings stop contributing and gaining from their existence. I drained my friendships during my break up which still devastates me. I feel guilty about the times I talk to much to people because I crave social interaction. The neediness is pathetic. It's like being on life support draining resources and others finances when you've got nothing to give back. It's game over.
Suicide can be a form of self care if you know your life will continue to get worse. No one wants to admit it but some lives are just not worth living. We will all die regardless, it is just a matter of how much pain you are willing to endure before then.
Society wants people to think there is always a solution, a light at the end if the tunnel but that is subjective. Also when some problem go too long without help there is nothing to be done.
 
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rationaltake

rationaltake

I'm rocking it - in another universe
Sep 28, 2021
2,707
Suicide can be a form of self care if you know your life will continue to get worse. No one wants to admit it but some lives are just not worth living. We will all die regardless, it is just a matter of how much pain you are willing to endure before then.
Yes. Death is not in question. It is just a matter of when.
 
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eternalmelancholy

eternalmelancholy

waiting for the bus
Mar 24, 2021
1,169
Yes. Death is not in question. It is just a matter of when.

I rather choose when I die than let life decide for me. Sickness and old age are the only things waiting for me in the future. Might as well avoid that while I still have the chance.
 
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